Anonymous #1
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Just wanted to get some opinions on this generally. What age gaps do you think are the most ideal? Do you think they matter?
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Anonymous #2
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2-3 years ideally, 3+ would depend on the person
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bookishvegan
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#3
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Maybe more when you're young, but not really. Like if you're 16 and he's 50... like don't bang your grandad, you know what I'm saying? lol
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DrawTheLine
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There isn't an ideal age gap, or unideal one. For some people the age gap can be way too much, but for others the same gap can lead to an amazing relationship. My boyfriend is 7 years older, but he really doesn't act his age so he feels like the same age as me. It's working out well so far and I can see a future with him. However, for other people 7 years would be too much.
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DanB1991
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Age gap relationships generally just don't work out in the long term.... for multiple reasons.

Generally speaking when a 16-18 year old see's someone 4-5 years older the initial difference in maturity and self reliance causes issues. The main issue here is something I called the "boy racer effect". The people (usually girls) who seek older people for being more mature are almost identical to those 14-16yo girls who will see boys who are 'more mature' who hang around maccies in their Saxo or Corsa. As they get older they realise that individual is not actually more mature, just further down their natural life stage than themselves. Individuals who use the same reasoning into their 20's and 30's are intrinsically doing it for the same reason. They see those who are later in their life as more mature and secure, however they don't realise that if they stuck with someone their same age, by the time their partner reached that age, they would generally have the same wealth, knowledge, experience, etc etc. You also notice that the people they're attracted to tend to be praying on that individuals own immaturity or lack of self reliance. 'However' once they get past the 3-6 year mark the age difference does diminish it's strain on the relationship.... but that being said, they're still more likely to break up than people with a closer age difference.

However when you start looking at 10-20-30 year differences the relationship is doomed from the start. Initially there is increase happiness compared to normal, usually explained by the rebellious nature of the relationship, that however does wear off. Also people will hit life stages at difference times and will eventually be incompatible. Generally when one person is in their mid 20's to mid 30's and decide they want kids, the other is going to be either too old to have kids, getting ready to retire or may already have kids of their own and don't want any more. Also being in your 20's, 30's & 40's and wanting a social life, when your partner is starting to want to stay in more and is becoming more and more frail, it does put a downer on things. There's a reason you don't see many wives who are in their 30's or 40's and still with their husband who may be in his 60's or 70's.

I actually knew one guy who was in his 20's and saw a lady in her late 30's and originally wasn't fussed by the age difference and entered the relationship not wanting children. By the time he was about 30-32 he wanted to have kids, she didn't want anymore (she already had a daughter) and also no longer could have children as she was now early/mid 40's.

TLDR version: The larger the age gap, the more likelihood (it's a statistical fact) that the relationship will fail. The 'ideal' gap is 2 years or less although generally speaking you're not playing with extremely decreased odds until you reach something like 5 years. I think you get to something like 10 years plus, you have to be (quite literally) in the 1% group for it to actually work out. And yes the stats are that bad.
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Caesar333
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There's no predetermined gap that's appropriate. In general the "divide by 2 add 7 rule" can be applied.

I think it's about life stages, if you're in school then you should go out with someone else in school and etc etc
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claireestelle
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I think with age gaps it's life goals and maturity that is relevant , I suppose that's much less likely at larger age gaps but doesn't mean it can't work. There's a four year gap between me and my husband and we barely ever notice it.
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by claireestelle)
I think with age gaps it's life goals and maturity that is relevant
This. I went out with a guy 8 years my senior a couple of times a few years ago. I found the biggest deal breaker for me was that, while we had similar personalities/interests, he had already done a lot of things in his life that I wanted to do but hadn't gotten around to yet (travelling etc.). He had literally been there, done that, so conversations seemed very one-sided. He also had a pretty lucrative job and had his own house, while I worked just over minimum wage and lived with my parents...

We were just in two completely different places in our lives, and there was no getting around that.
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Anonymous #3
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1-3 years are the types that usually last

maximum 5-7 if you are both as mature as each other

actual statistics have proven that anything over 10 years has a less than 50% chance of survival.
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jahdf
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just wanted to get some opinions on this generally. What age gaps do you think are the most ideal? Do you think they matter?
more than 5 years is kinda weird. 4yrs or less.
But thats just my opinion
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Ezisola
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#11
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Ideal would be the girl slightly older than the guy as men tend to die slightly younger so you both kick it at the same time
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Jammie_x
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I used to go for people older then me but over the years, that has fell flat. Usually my limit is 5 years younger or older but prefer older. Saying that I have been getting on really well with an 18 year old recently who wants to bang me 😂. I'm 24. The flirty banter is deffo there and despite his age, he's very work orientated and mature. He's definitely a dark horse too and openly admitted he finds me attractive.

Like I said, I usually have this limit of 5 years and preferably like someone older but there is something about him that intrigues me. I guess what I'm trying to say without being a cliche. Sometimes age is just a number 🤷🏻*♀️
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Zoidberg88
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Age is but a number. The older you get, the more you'll realise the insignificance of age gaps. Trust me.
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