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Is this a fake friend? Why does she do this? watch

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    This girl is a really close friend but she always puts me down, e.g she knows I’m insecure about my nose and I want rhinoplasty and she always talks about my nose and says it’s big ‘jokingly’ , and someone called me pretty and she started talking about it and she said ‘apparently you’re pretty’, what was the need for the ‘apparently’ it Just seemed snarky.

    And I got my hair done real and I got compliments on how nice it looked from everyone even strangers and she said I looked ‘butters (ugly)’. We’re very good friends and we have banter all the time but it just seems like she’s always taking a dig.
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    Also, I’d like to add that she’s called me buttters on more than one occasion and im not ugly and people do find me attractive
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    Sounds like shes jealous of you, wouldnt say shes fake but shes not behaving as a friend should be
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    I agree with the post above, she seems to be jealous of you and honestly that can kind of put a strain on anyone's friendship. I think maybe you should start to decide what kind of people you want around you because no one really needs negativity especially from a really close friend. Or try talking with her about it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This girl is a really close friend but she always puts me down, e.g she knows I’m insecure about my nose and I want rhinoplasty and she always talks about my nose and says it’s big ‘jokingly’ , and someone called me pretty and she started talking about it and she said ‘apparently you’re pretty’, what was the need for the ‘apparently’ it Just seemed snarky.

    And I got my hair done real and I got compliments on how nice it looked from everyone even strangers and she said I looked ‘butters (ugly)’. We’re very good friends and we have banter all the time but it just seems like she’s always taking a dig.
    I suspect that she is very insecure, feels that everyone else (including you) are criticizing her behind her back, and needs to 'shore up' her self worth. Actually, this has the opposite effect, as anyone would soon tire of this behaviour. I have dated gals like this. I have also dated gals that 'got off' on beating on me. I'm fairly tall, and decently strong for a bloke, so they couldn't damage me too much, but it was annoying. Perhaps the ultimate 'experiences i didn't need' was taking some gal out for a show, drinks, & dinner at the Kennedy center [local equivalent of Prince Albert Hall], and had her criticizing me in a loud voice during dinner, with the intended audience being the people at two adjoining tables in the 'Terrace Restaurant" in the Kennedy Center. Needless to say, the clientèle you encounter there, are not the kind you find in a local pub.

    This may not be the answer you want, but i think you need a new friend. You perhaps might want to tell this 'friend' [in private of course], how what she does makes you feel, and how you can't imagine how anyone else would put up with her behaviour long term. I'll leave that to you - you know her much better than i do. There are plenty of people out there that will treat you nicely, there is NO need to put up with abuse from anyone. I came to the conclusion years ago, that i was much better off with nobody than with an abusive 'friend'. I think that conclusion is still valid. Best of luck!! Cheers.
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    (Original post by Rabbit2)
    I suspect that she is very insecure, feels that everyone else (including you) are criticizing her behind her back, and needs to 'shore up' her self worth. Actually, this has the opposite effect, as anyone would soon tire of this behaviour. I have dated gals like this. I have also dated gals that 'got off' on beating on me. I'm fairly tall, and decently strong for a bloke, so they couldn't damage me too much, but it was annoying. Perhaps the ultimate 'experiences i didn't need' was taking some gal out for a show, drinks, & dinner at the Kennedy center [local equivalent of Prince Albert Hall], and had her criticizing me in a loud voice during dinner, with the intended audience being the people at two adjoining tables in the 'Terrace Restaurant" in the Kennedy Center. Needless to say, the clientèle you encounter there, are not the kind you find in a local pub.

    This may not be the answer you want, but i think you need a new friend. You perhaps might want to tell this 'friend' [in private of course], how what she does makes you feel, and how you can't imagine how anyone else would put up with her behaviour long term. I'll leave that to you - you know her much better than i do. There are plenty of people out there that will treat you nicely, there is NO need to put up with abuse from anyone. I came to the conclusion years ago, that i was much better off with nobody than with an abusive 'friend'. I think that conclusion is still valid. Best of luck!! Cheers.
    (Original post by TheGirlFelonXxXx)
    Sounds like shes jealous of you, wouldnt say shes fake but shes not behaving as a friend should be
    I thought she may be jealous of me too but I didn’t want to come off across as bigheaded
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    Yep she clearly is jealous but thats not your fault tbh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This girl is a really close friend but she always puts me down, e.g she knows I’m insecure about my nose and I want rhinoplasty and she always talks about my nose and says it’s big ‘jokingly’ , and someone called me pretty and she started talking about it and she said ‘apparently you’re pretty’, what was the need for the ‘apparently’ it Just seemed snarky.

    And I got my hair done real and I got compliments on how nice it looked from everyone even strangers and she said I looked ‘butters (ugly)’. We’re very good friends and we have banter all the time but it just seems like she’s always taking a dig.
    There are two possibilities: 1) She is jealous of you. 2) She likes you. Maybe stop being so 'banterous' with her? To me, it sounds like she is making these comments because she thinks you will just brush them off and not take them too seriously. She might not be aware that she is actually offending/upsetting you in some way. Another possibility is that she could fancy you? People are generally mean to the people they like, teasing is just a part of that. Think about it...why should it even bother her in the first place what you look like, or what others think about you. Are there any other signs she has given you which could suggest this?

    My best piece of advice would be to tone down the banter. Don't feed her with any further information to mock i.e. don't tell her your insecurities. Think about whether you dig/make comments about her in return? It could be a retaliation.

    Maybe think about confronting her about it next time, she makes a remark. Tell her you don't like it when she makes comments about your nose etc and would like her to stop. If she is a close friend like you said, she should respect that. You have to be straight forward and tell her how you feel. If it's upsetting you then speak up
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    I relate to this a lot, as i had a couple of friends who used to say pretty much the same things to me! Personally, i distanced myself from them and made new friends/ grew closer with other friends and i was much happier. A friend shouldn't bring you down, and I didn't realise that until i found friends who made me feel good about myself.

    I would message your friend, and express your feelings to her. I think by her response you will be able to tell whether she is worth keeping as a friend.
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    She is clearly a hater, a fake friend - call her what you want.

    A person who makes digs at you has issues of their own, so they take it out on you to elevate themselves.

    Leave this person, dump them out your life.
    Learn the lesson about your self worth. Only surround yourself around people who support and help you to grow, not negativity and toxic people.
 
 
 
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