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I lost my virginity to my best friend and now he won't talk to me watch

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    The other day I was talking to my best friend about how I am still a virgin and I wanted to basically just get it over with. I didn't have a problem with being a virgin but it was something that was weighing on me for a while. He basically said that if I just wanted to get it over with that he would take it for me if I promised not to get weird about it. I said that neither of us could get weird about it and neither of us could tell other people because people always think that we are having sex because we are always with each other. I should mention that I have liked him on and off since we have known each other but our friendship means more to me than that. The next day I went to his room and basically said that I was ready and he said that he had a meeting in 20 minutes but "that should be enough time" I was very skeptical but hey he's the expert, not me. So I agreed and everything just kind of happened. He tried doing this thing with my legs that made it hurt so bad and I was like stop that hurts and so we switched positions. Then all of a sudden when I was riding he was like "you good?" and just kind of sat up and was like I have to go to my meeting. And then he left. It was so bad, like that was my first time and I know it was bad, he didn't even finish. I didn't even take my sweatshirt off, I was so nervous! But I live the "oh well" is better than "what if" lifestyle and I acted totally normal to him afterward. He didn't talk to me at all for the rest of that day and the next day we were supposed to have class together and he ditched. I went to go see him at work and he was soooo weird, he wouldn't even look at me. Then I texted him later and I was like if you want to try again we can I know it'll be better because I know more what to expect and he responded with "I'm good". I asked him today if we could hang out and he was like "sure me and F (this girl he talks to on occasion who HATES me and he always takes my side when she tries to be rude about me) are hanging out in my room, you can hang out with both of us." I might be reading too much into this but I don't have any other friends to talk about it with because he's my best friend and we promised not to talk to people. I feel terrible like I'm losing him, why did I do it? I feel so sick. I'm sorry if this is long I just need advice so bad.
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    This is a type of thing you don't go looking for advice on the internet for. We don't know the guy, or his intentions, only you do, so if you think he's being a **** about it, confront him. It's a very personal matter, just go by your own judgement as you know the guy better than anyone else. If you feel he's doing these things maliciously, then he may just be embarrassed and getting away from the situation by distancing himself from you and not talking about it and hurting your feelings without him knowing, which is very common for boys. Or he may just be being a straight up *******.
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    He got what he wanted. Another notch on his bed-post. So now he's dropped the veneer of being nice to you. Who knows what's going on his mind? Whatever it is, it's not nice from your point of view. He really is acting like a jerk. Maybe he feels totally embarassed by the whole event, and doesn't have the maturity to have empathy for you at this time?


    As for the way you lost your virginity - any man worth losing your virginity to would have done it totally different.

    A whole undisturbed evening would have been devoted to it. Phones off and everything. Taking it very slowly at first. He'd have helped / made you orgasm before getting his penis anywhere near your vagina. He'd have asked how you wanted to handle your hymen: slow and over time, or get it over and done with. If the latter, it would have been missionary, with him on top and with you legs drawn upwards. He would have checked about birth control. He'd have have taken the right measures to ensure he was infection free in the months leading up to this. He'd have forced himself to stay awake after he ejaculated to either give you another orgasm, or just to be there for you.

    All in all, he'd have done his best to make sure your first time was the special event it should have been.

    What's done is done. Try to make your second time a special event, by doing it with the right man in the right way - slowly, tenderly, whilst also doing it passionately and with some love and skill from the man.
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    Some best friend
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    Another female sullied for no good reason,
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The other day I was talking to my best friend about how I am still a virgin and I wanted to basically just get it over with. I didn't have a problem with being a virgin but it was something that was weighing on me for a while. He basically said that if I just wanted to get it over with that he would take it for me if I promised not to get weird about it. I said that neither of us could get weird about it and neither of us could tell other people because people always think that we are having sex because we are always with each other. I should mention that I have liked him on and off since we have known each other but our friendship means more to me than that. The next day I went to his room and basically said that I was ready and he said that he had a meeting in 20 minutes but "that should be enough time" I was very skeptical but hey he's the expert, not me. So I agreed and everything just kind of happened. He tried doing this thing with my legs that made it hurt so bad and I was like stop that hurts and so we switched positions. Then all of a sudden when I was riding he was like "you good?" and just kind of sat up and was like I have to go to my meeting. And then he left. It was so bad, like that was my first time and I know it was bad, he didn't even finish. I didn't even take my sweatshirt off, I was so nervous! But I live the "oh well" is better than "what if" lifestyle and I acted totally normal to him afterward. He didn't talk to me at all for the rest of that day and the next day we were supposed to have class together and he ditched. I went to go see him at work and he was soooo weird, he wouldn't even look at me. Then I texted him later and I was like if you want to try again we can I know it'll be better because I know more what to expect and he responded with "I'm good". I asked him today if we could hang out and he was like "sure me and F (this girl he talks to on occasion who HATES me and he always takes my side when she tries to be rude about me) are hanging out in my room, you can hang out with both of us." I might be reading too much into this but I don't have any other friends to talk about it with because he's my best friend and we promised not to talk to people. I feel terrible like I'm losing him, why did I do it? I feel so sick. I'm sorry if this is long I just need advice so bad.
    Just a counterpoint to all the predictable TSR indignation, and all the descriptions of chick-lit sex....

    Given the description of what OP said happened in the lead up to this encounter - he pretty much did exactly as you agreed.

    By "weird" he clearly meant he didn't want you to turn overnight into a completely loved-up girlfriend.

    The terms "get over with", "take it for me", "weighing on me" were all used by you. This does not in any way sound incompatible with the description of what happened. I'd be pretty sure that's what he wanted - just sex so you can break your duck (as was agreed) and that was it.

    There are some absurd suggestions on here that this should have been some amazing romantic special event. Well - if that had happened, with mood lighting and music and making out - that doesn't sound anything like just getting it over with.

    Ok, since then it's not been great, but this whole situation was a huge mistake.
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    I agree, a first time for anybody should be a special occasion.

    Taking it slow is an absolute must, not rushed and wam bam done.

    For him to just sit up, get up and go with absolutely no regard for your feelings was completely out of order. Without a doubt this guy used you and clearly never bothered to set aside a complete nigh as has been said in other posts so that he could make it a special time for you
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    I'm sorry, but you really should have through about that before you did it. Why rush?
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    Everyone will always tell you that your first time should be special, but for the vast majority of people that's not how it works, and it really is just an idea driven into people by films. Sounds like it weirded him out for a couple of days then he agreed to hang out with you, but your own personal opinion about.. "F" stopped it happening.
 
 
 
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