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    i had a message off my dad today saying that he has gotten engaged to a woman that i have met for about 20 minutes after one of my shows they haven't been together too long as i moved out a year ago and they were together in august it think. i haven't seen my dad since before Christmas and now he drops this bombshell on me what would anyone else do in my situation?
    as i am loosing it right now. please can i have some advice....
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    (Original post by 123chinchilla123)
    i had a message off my dad today saying that he has gotten engaged to a woman that i have met for about 20 minutes after one of my shows they haven't been together too long as i moved out a year ago and they were together in august it think. i haven't seen my dad since before Christmas and now he drops this bombshell on me what would anyone else do in my situation?
    as i am loosing it right now. please can i have some advice....
    Although you're finding this situation difficult, all you can do to keep your relationship with your dad is to be civil with her and try and go to their wedding if you can.
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    Just really think carefully and if the last time you saw your dad he was truly happy and you’ve seen that yourself maybe you just need to ask your dad whether you and this other woman can meet up and get to know each other. If he truly cares then he will say yes if he doesn’t care and he says no tell him that you would have done it and maybe thought about it but if he isn’t even letting you have a say then that isn’t fair on you. My mum always checked with me and my brother and made sure we were ok that she was seeing new people and if we werent then she would either tell us that we wouldn’t have to class him as our dad we would just have to think that he was truly making her happy and that we would always have her or she would dump him and say that we were more important and she had to think about that
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    the thing is that i moved out because i was put into care.
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    (Original post by 123chinchilla123)
    the thing is that i moved out because i was put into care.
    so prior to this, your relationship with your dad wasn't great?
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    so prior to this, your relationship with your dad wasn't great?
    no it wasn't but it was okay. we never saw directly eye to eye, and i don't with many people. just this seems to have hit me like a brick wall. i wasn't expecting it as he always said that he would never get married again and that it was the worst mistake of his life. so i no longer know what to think about it.
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    (Original post by 123chinchilla123)
    no it wasn't but it was okay. we never saw directly eye to eye, and i don't with many people. just this seems to have hit me like a brick wall. i wasn't expecting it as he always said that he would never get married again and that it was the worst mistake of his life. so i no longer know what to think about it.
    Perhaps he's just changed his mind on marriage as a matter, it depends what you want to do with your relationship with him really. You either quietly deal with your dislike of his decision or perhaps not have your relationship at all, it'd be difficult for any other option to work. I wasn't keen on my mum marrying my step dad (and being that my dad had died it made it tricky for me to deal with) so i very carefully raised my concern but in the end as i knew it was for her happiness went along with it and helped her organise the wedding.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    Perhaps he's just changed his mind on marriage as a matter, it depends what you want to do with your relationship with him really. You either quietly deal with your dislike of his decision or perhaps not have your relationship at all, it'd be difficult for any other option to work. I wasn't keen on my mum marrying my step dad (and being that my dad had died it made it tricky for me to deal with) so i very carefully raised my concern but in the end as i knew it was for her happiness went along with it and helped her organise the wedding.
    the thing is i don't know anything about her except she has two children who go to the high school right by my college. so it doesn't help matters very much. but thank you for the advice. also i have to think of y little brother who is there with him. i have to think about his happiness aswel.
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    (Original post by 123chinchilla123)
    the thing is i don't know anything about her except she has two children who go to the high school right by my college. so it doesn't help matters very much. but thank you for the advice. also i have to think of y little brother who is there with him. i have to think about his happiness aswel.
    would you feel better if perhaps you knew more about her maybe? you could talk to your brother about it, see how he feels.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    would you feel better if perhaps you knew more about her maybe? you could talk to your brother about it, see how he feels.
    again my relationship broke down with my brother when i moved into care. he doesn't want anything to do with me and he has made that quite clear by hitting me around the face. i want to see him. i want to have a relationship with them all. but it is a matter of them wanting to.
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    (Original post by 123chinchilla123)
    again my relationship broke down with my brother when i moved into care. he doesn't want anything to do with me and he has made that quite clear by hitting me around the face. i want to see him. i want to have a relationship with them all. but it is a matter of them wanting to.
    I'm sorry about your brother, all the more reason to try with your dad i suppose.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I'm sorry about your brother, all the more reason to try with your dad i suppose.
    i see what you mean. i will try and phone him tomorrow. not sure what he will say, but it is worth a try.
 
 
 
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