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Mental health and dentist appointment watch

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    I’ve got a dentist appointment tomorrow first thing and to say I’m ******** myself would be putting it lightly. I’ve avoided going to the dentist for almost three years now but my parents made the appointment and I forgot to cancel it and now it’s too late.

    Rationally I know that they won’t, or shouldn’t, be judgemental of me but over the last year and a half especially I’ve been struggling so much with my mental health and things like brushing my teeth have not been happening. A lot of people would probably be like ‘that’s gross, you should still clean your teeth’ and I know. I feel ashamed that I let things affect me this far.

    Even though my teeth basically look alright when you’re not paying much attention, I’ve been getting tooth ache and I think I can see a couple of cavities if I look carefully. I’ve become obsessed with checking my teeth, yet still can’t brjng myself to clean them - I’ve been known to sit on the floor and cry at the prospect of picking up a toothbrush, which probably seems a huge overreaction I’m well aware.

    I have an eating disorder and one of the huge things for me has been about not knowing the calories in toothpaste, as well as other behaviours that won’t be helping my teeth, and I’m aware of that. I’ve gone through phases in the last three years just surviving off Diet Coke, have taken repeated overdoses leading to repeated vomiting, depression has meant I’ve lacked the motivation to leave my bed sometimes for weeks on end and yeah.

    I’m terrified about tomorrow because I know it’s all my own fault. And I’m worried that they’re going to judge me and see it as my fault, even though I’m doing my upmost to get better.

    I also suffer from anxiety which obviously isn’t helping this whole situation.

    When I go, if I do need fillings which I’m guessing I might (*cries*) would the do them then and there, or will I have to go back another day? Because that’s one of the main things that’s freaking me out - either way is actually, then and there would scare me but having to wait would also make me panic for longer. And does it hurt? Because I’ve heard so many mixed feelings on this as well.

    I’m almost tempted to not turn up to my appointment because I’ve worked myself up so much about it, and to be honest, I’m not sure I care about the state of my teeth. Well, I do care, I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do so at the moment - really I know I should go before it turns in to more problems but I’m not sure I can bring myself to.
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    They have a job, to help you look after your teeth. Right before the check, you'll be asked if you have any concerns or problems with your teeth. Tell them 'I've a few mental health problems which meant that sometimes I neglected my health' if it bothers you so much. Their job is not to judge, and yours is to go in for the appointment and trying to follow their advice. Good luck, maybe take someone with you if you're worked up over it. Once you've been, it won't be hanging overyou anymore. You'll feel better for it.
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