I have slept with over 1,000 guys and I'm not joking (I keep an Excel spreadsheet). I am incredibly clever, I'm 17, my parents give me far too much money than I know what to do with and I have everything I could ever want so I should be happy.
I am not happy. I am happy with materal things and a lot of the time I am happy with this and convince myself that this is enough. I am the most arrogant and snotty person you could ever meet; I thrive being like this and I feel like I am better than everybody else. Underneath it all I have no idea what I actually want; I want to find somebody who is as horrible and sarcastic as me (I had this once but it didn't work out). I will be going to Cambridge and I know this still won't be enough for me.
I am posting this because I really don't know what to do. I take pills every day, I receive private psychiatry and Iead an active lifestyle as much as possible. Medicatiuon doesn't work, therapy doesn't work and neither does anything else. I have guys who are genuinely nice to me, who don't want my money or my body straight away, but I just end up using them and messing it up. I meet and have sex with guys from Grindr and other gay apps every day and it is never enough. Nothing nas ever worked so I'm reaching out to TSR for advice.