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Am I losing my best friend to her boyfriend? watch

    • #1
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    #1

    So, my best friend just got into a relationship two weeks ago. And for me it all appeared very odd from the beginning: I mean, when your best friend gets into a relationship you (as her bf) know everything about the guy, because she’s been obsessing about him for months, went on dates with him etc. - but here it was just like: “I’m in a relationship!” And I, honestly, didn’t have the slightest clue whom she could be in a relationship with. She met this guy and after a few days she was in a relationship without even ever mentioning him in the first place. After I asked her “Are you in love with him?” She just replied “Love is such a big word.”

    I’m quite sure some of you will know this little anxious feeling, when your best friend gets into a relationship- will we have our night outs? Will we have time to talk randomly on the phone for hours into the night? Etc. I am of course aware that friendships change when someone gets into a relationship, you just have to adjust to the fact that there’s someone else, who’s getting quite a lot of your best friends time.
    Don’t get me wrong- I’m happy for her! I’m happy, if she’s happy and I genuinely want her relationship to work. But I’m the only one of us two to ever ask, if she wants to hang out (etc.) anymore. She drives home on weekends (opportunities for us to catch up, since we’re studying in different cities) and tells me that she just hasn’t got time, because there’s this birthday party of one of his friends and she really has to study at some point (which she has been avoiding literally until three days before her exams because of him). The last message on our WhatsApp feed is from 6 days ago (while we actually always kept in touch frequently)...

    Is it just my ego, our should I talk to her about this? And, if I talk to her about this, how can I make sure that she doesn’t feel that I’m jealous and want to “destroy” her relationship with him?
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    Once she gets really into her relationship she will forget your name.
    Trust me you're doomed.
    • #2
    #2

    My “ex best friend” left me for her guy.... we used to her extremely close, but whenever she has a boyfriend I’m just left apart. I get it, she’s going to finish her life with a guy not with me but it’s never been too bad, except for the one she’s got atm. It was out of the blue, and I’m happy for her, but she never makes any effort to see me anymore. It was difficult but I stopped trying too, and just met different people. I’m just sad that I came to this. Sorry that I’m probably not making you feel the best :/ *sending hugs*
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    Give it time. A new relationship is exciting and intense and is probably consuming a lot of her mind. It'll settle down after some time.
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    I’m sorry but she will put him before you and so she should. He will be the one paying her bills in years to come.

    Please don’t be the bitter and jealous best friend, just try and spend time with other people
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    (Original post by del1rious)
    I’m sorry but she will put him before you and so she should. He will be the one paying her bills in years to come.

    Please don’t be the bitter and jealous best friend, just try and spend time with other people
    I actually thought thy the point of her going to university and obtaining a degree would ensure she’d pay for her own bills...
    I don’t demand being put before him, but I think I have a right to demand some work being put into a friendship of 10 years, if she wants it to last.
    And „just spending time with other people“ and not giving a f*** about our friendship just doesn’t seem to be my style...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my best friend just got into a relationship two weeks ago. And for me it all appeared very odd from the beginning: I mean, when your best friend gets into a relationship you (as her bf) know everything about the guy, because she’s been obsessing about him for months, went on dates with him etc. - but here it was just like: “I’m in a relationship!” And I, honestly, didn’t have the slightest clue whom she could be in a relationship with. She met this guy and after a few days she was in a relationship without even ever mentioning him in the first place. After I asked her “Are you in love with him?” She just replied “Love is such a big word.”

    I’m quite sure some of you will know this little anxious feeling, when your best friend gets into a relationship- will we have our night outs? Will we have time to talk randomly on the phone for hours into the night? Etc. I am of course aware that friendships change when someone gets into a relationship, you just have to adjust to the fact that there’s someone else, who’s getting quite a lot of your best friends time.
    Don’t get me wrong- I’m happy for her! I’m happy, if she’s happy and I genuinely want her relationship to work. But I’m the only one of us two to ever ask, if she wants to hang out (etc.) anymore. She drives home on weekends (opportunities for us to catch up, since we’re studying in different cities) and tells me that she just hasn’t got time, because there’s this birthday party of one of his friends and she really has to study at some point (which she has been avoiding literally until three days before her exams because of him). The last message on our WhatsApp feed is from 6 days ago (while we actually always kept in touch frequently)...

    Is it just my ego, our should I talk to her about this? And, if I talk to her about this, how can I make sure that she doesn’t feel that I’m jealous and want to “destroy” her relationship with him?
    The first months of a relationship (usually 3 months) are normally very intense. She will be spending a lot more time with her bf. You will probably be able to meet up with her, but certainly less. Try and find new friends or possibly hobbies to fill the hole left by not seeing and texting her as much. I'm sure she will still try and find some time for you. If the relationship goes badly you will be needed to support her. Furthermore, you could be a good person to talk to when inevitable arguments start in the relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my best friend just got into a relationship two weeks ago. And for me it all appeared very odd from the beginning: I mean, when your best friend gets into a relationship you (as her bf) know everything about the guy, because she’s been obsessing about him for months, went on dates with him etc. - but here it was just like: “I’m in a relationship!” And I, honestly, didn’t have the slightest clue whom she could be in a relationship with. She met this guy and after a few days she was in a relationship without even ever mentioning him in the first place. After I asked her “Are you in love with him?” She just replied “Love is such a big word.”

    I’m quite sure some of you will know this little anxious feeling, when your best friend gets into a relationship- will we have our night outs? Will we have time to talk randomly on the phone for hours into the night? Etc. I am of course aware that friendships change when someone gets into a relationship, you just have to adjust to the fact that there’s someone else, who’s getting quite a lot of your best friends time.
    Don’t get me wrong- I’m happy for her! I’m happy, if she’s happy and I genuinely want her relationship to work. But I’m the only one of us two to ever ask, if she wants to hang out (etc.) anymore. She drives home on weekends (opportunities for us to catch up, since we’re studying in different cities) and tells me that she just hasn’t got time, because there’s this birthday party of one of his friends and she really has to study at some point (which she has been avoiding literally until three days before her exams because of him). The last message on our WhatsApp feed is from 6 days ago (while we actually always kept in touch frequently)...

    Is it just my ego, our should I talk to her about this? And, if I talk to her about this, how can I make sure that she doesn’t feel that I’m jealous and want to “destroy” her relationship with him?
    I get where you're coming from, my best-friend of 15 years has recently been seeing this guy and he hasn't got the best past and is well-known for many bad things. So as her best-friend I've been trying to advise her to be careful and don't rush things, but she didn't like that and we did drift and didn't really speak at all and i didn't see her in like three weeks. It was hard cause we went from seeing each other everyday to not seeing each other for three weeks, but it was bringing me down too much and I felt alone and down so I decided to tell her how I felt about the situation and she apologized and changed how she was being with me. So the best thing to do in my opinion is just to talk to her about how you feel because, you need that reassurance that she still loves you and is there for you and that even though they are always busy and you're not always seeing them that you're still their number 1. If she is a real friend she will understand and not get annoyed or upset.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my best friend just got into a relationship two weeks ago. And for me it all appeared very odd from the beginning: I mean, when your best friend gets into a relationship you (as her bf) know everything about the guy, because she’s been obsessing about him for months, went on dates with him etc. - but here it was just like: “I’m in a relationship!” And I, honestly, didn’t have the slightest clue whom she could be in a relationship with. She met this guy and after a few days she was in a relationship without even ever mentioning him in the first place. After I asked her “Are you in love with him?” She just replied “Love is such a big word.”

    I’m quite sure some of you will know this little anxious feeling, when your best friend gets into a relationship- will we have our night outs? Will we have time to talk randomly on the phone for hours into the night? Etc. I am of course aware that friendships change when someone gets into a relationship, you just have to adjust to the fact that there’s someone else, who’s getting quite a lot of your best friends time.
    Don’t get me wrong- I’m happy for her! I’m happy, if she’s happy and I genuinely want her relationship to work. But I’m the only one of us two to ever ask, if she wants to hang out (etc.) anymore. She drives home on weekends (opportunities for us to catch up, since we’re studying in different cities) and tells me that she just hasn’t got time, because there’s this birthday party of one of his friends and she really has to study at some point (which she has been avoiding literally until three days before her exams because of him). The last message on our WhatsApp feed is from 6 days ago (while we actually always kept in touch frequently)...

    Is it just my ego, our should I talk to her about this? And, if I talk to her about this, how can I make sure that she doesn’t feel that I’m jealous and want to “destroy” her relationship with him?
    I think this is a normal feeling. She has someone else in her life now and she will devote time to him, which means less time for you. It can leave you feeling not as close to your best friend. However, I do feel like she should put in effort into keeping in touch and meeting up with you, especially as you have such a strong friendship of many years. When you suggest things, is she happy to talk to you or meet you or does she brush you off everytime? I would talk to her if this was the case.
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    Talk to her!!! Tell her how you feel.
    • #3
    #3

    hello! I really think it is a good idea to explain all your feelings to her, because then if you don't then it will just bug you constantly. It's best to keep your feelings open, and you could say in that message, please don't think I'm being jealous I'm just worried that we will drift apart... or something like that

    I hope everything works out for the both of you =)
 
 
 
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