Turn on thread page Beta

controlling gf watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    i don't know what to do, i feel suffocated in my own skin. She doesn't let me talk to any of my friends or see them. She once got jealous when i was talking to my sister!!!! She always forces me to show her all my messages and my snapchats. Ive already tried to break up with her, but she threatened to kill herself unless i had sex with her right there to "prove i loved her". I basically lay there like a corpse while she raped me. She's already told her parents and im terrified that if i don't do something now i won't be able to escape from her.

    please help me.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i don't know what to do, i feel suffocated in my own skin. She doesn't let me talk to any of my friends or see them. She once got jealous when i was talking to my sister!!!! She always forces me to show her all my messages and my snapchats. Ive already tried to break up with her, but she threatened to kill herself unless i had sex with her right there to "prove i loved her". I basically lay there like a corpse while she raped me. She's already told her parents and im terrified that if i don't do something now i won't be able to escape from her.

    please help me.
    You need to break up with her. Cut all contact this is an abusive relationship that will hurt you the longer it continues.
    Maybe try telling someone about her threats but do not be emotionally blackmailed by her to stay.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Let's explore the options:

    1 call her bluff. Dump her. Tell Social Services that you're worried that she's suicidal.

    2 Continue your relationship as is.

    3 Keep telling her that you love her so much, but act in a way that will make her eventually want to dump you. EG attempt anal with just a bit of spit for lubrication. EG Do sex with no foreply, ejaculate within 2 minutes, roll over go straight to sleep every time. Get controlling on her. Ask her who she's been talking to and pretend to be really jealous about it - all the time. Criticise her friends and family all the time - give her an ultimatum, she has to choose between them and you. If it's not you make a huge pretend fuss over it - she doesn't love you enough Fart as loudly as you can whenever you're with her (eat beans and eggs for breakfast every day you're going to see her). etc etc etc

    4 ??? Any more suggestions?


    Once you've explored the options, pick the best one FOR YOU.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    If you stay with her, she'll just carry on because she knows she can get away with it.
    Offline

    21
    Dump her ass.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    If you stay with her, she'll just carry on because she knows she can get away with it.
    but what can i do even if i break up with her. I don't have any friends anymore, (she used to say i care more about them than i do about her) so i had to stop speaking to them and they don't talk to me anymore. My sister kinda knows my situation and because my gf got jealous of her it was so awkward for her so she distanced herself from the both of us. my parents don't even know that im in a relationship.

    i don't have anyone anymore except for her. i am completely trapped. she knows it too and knows that she can get away with anything. Once i told her i was going to meet my friend and go to the gym together and she got so angry she scratched down my cheek and neck. the marks were so obvious, i didn't go out for a full week and had to cancel on my friend. He was one of my only friends at this point and because of her he doesn't talk to me anymore. I don't have any friends at uni and everyday after lectures finish i go straight home to her because if i go anywhere else she'll emotionally blackmail me.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i don't know what to do, i feel suffocated in my own skin. She doesn't let me talk to any of my friends or see them. She once got jealous when i was talking to my sister!!!! She always forces me to show her all my messages and my snapchats. Ive already tried to break up with her, but she threatened to kill herself unless i had sex with her right there to "prove i loved her". I basically lay there like a corpse while she raped me. She's already told her parents and im terrified that if i don't do something now i won't be able to escape from her.

    please help me.
    r u a male?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by aspire.1a)
    r u a male?
    yes
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i don't know what to do, i feel suffocated in my own skin. She doesn't let me talk to any of my friends or see them. She once got jealous when i was talking to my sister!!!! She always forces me to show her all my messages and my snapchats. Ive already tried to break up with her, but she threatened to kill herself unless i had sex with her right there to "prove i loved her". I basically lay there like a corpse while she raped me. She's already told her parents and im terrified that if i don't do something now i won't be able to escape from her.

    please help me.
    So darling, this relationship, is toxic and you need to get OUT NOW! If you carry on being in this relationship and letting her control you, she will think she can do what she wants when she wants to. If she doesn't listen to you and carries on threatening to end her life then talk to her parents or maybe you're parents. It is not fair that your trapped in a abusive relationship. The only advice you need is GET OUT!
    • #2
    #2

    Oh my gosh! My brother dated this girl! Okay, maybe not the exact same girl but one who acted just like that for four years!!
    In the beginning all was roses but the control started creeping in there. She too got jealous of everything!! She distrusted him for absolutely no
    reason. She demanded that he be a phone call/text away at all times and if he wasn't available (for whatever reason) she would give him he11!!!
    My parents lived internationally and it got to where she would allow him to only spend like 48 hours with them when they came to town for a visit and would come
    up with reasons why he wouldn't be available beyond that time - she would be needing him..... they had events planned with her family. If my brother
    ever tried to side with his own family she would come unhinged!! It literally took years for him to realize what was happening. But, when she started not letting him have his own friends (and he wasn't out partying, drinking, doing drugs) just wanted to go play golf on the weekends or go hiking or take a weekend trip with his guy friends visiting from out of town (who are nice and respectable) he started seeing what we'd been saying all along. Then it was like the shade suddenly went up and he could actually see all the ways in his life that she was controlling and manipulating him. He tried to end it once but she begged him not to and said she'd change....he told her he knew she wouldn't but stayed with her about another 3 weeks. Then Boom..... just like that he was done. He broke up with her and never looked back. We were so surprised - we though for sure he'd start texting her again, try to call - whatever - but he didn't. Well, it turns out less than a month later she was Facebook official with some other bloke! Go figure! Poor lad! (could be you :wink2:)
    Sorry.... just needed to show you I've seen what you're going through.... there is soooo much more to my bro's story.
    So...
    1. You're not happy and it is time to get your life back. Relationships are not 'happy' 24/7 but this is different and it is very unhealthy and not something that can really be worked through unless there is a lot genuine willingness for change coming from your gf - which I"m sure she's not willing to do.
    2. As far as her threatening to commit suicide you are not responsible for her. You are obligated to treat her with respect in your words and not harm her but other than that her life is in her own hands. You could contact Social Services in advance or talk to a counselor. MOST LIKELY she is just bluffing and it is another manipulation tactic - which you already know. We are all responsible for ourselves and you can not carry the burden of 'what might happen' if you left her for the rest of your life. Your Life is important too and she is not allowing you to live it!
    3. I would suggest you tell your gf that you will not be letting her treat you/speak to you the way she has been any further. She may not check your texts, snapchat etc. anymore. Reassure her she has NO reason not to trust you (she doesn't does she?). Go do something with your sister, your friends etc. and see how she reacts. If it is back to the same (which given only a short amount of time she will go back to her old patterns) behavior as before then end it! You've given her fair warning and told her what you will and won't accept!
    3. So yes, really, my advice is to end this unhealthy relationship. Seek counseling for yourself if possible on how to handle this if you are uncertain but if you're not able then know in your heart that you are NOT intentionally harming her. She will carry this behavior into future relationships as well..... but it just can't be with you.
    4. I think you have your mind made up. You don't sound like you love and certainly don't truly respect her anymore. I think you just needed validation that your seeing the situation clearly - which you are. For your own sanity and mental health end it!

    P.S. Update: My brother is now dating a cute and so, so kind and not at all controlling girl! It can happen for you too!

    Best of Luck!
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes
    I feel sorry for u. she is controlling and abusing u.
    U need to tell someone! the fact that she raped u is something that needs to be dealt with.
    U need to tell the police
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    I'm amazed 99% of responses don't acknowledge that he was raped. Lol the double standards is real
    Just report her to the police I mean I'm sure she isn't a seven foot tall bodybuilder to terrify ya. (Basically be more confident and get out)
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Dump her it is not your fault if she kills herself that is not your problem!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 19, 2018
Poll
Cats or dogs?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.