Turn on thread page Beta

Was this rape or am I being dramatic? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Five years ago I was 18 and I met a 26 year old guy who took me on a few dates. I told him eventually that I was a virgin and he was great about it. He said we could start off doing little stuff and build up to sex. He invited me around to ‘start doing this little stuff’ at around 10am and I drove to his house. He sat on the sofa with me for a whole 2 minutes before leading me upstairs. He knew I did not want to go all the way and I said no but I just lay there still as he took my virginity. I was very naive back then and he used no protection and knew that I was on nothing myself. He then he had to go and I drove home. I took the morning after pill the next day and we fell out of contact as he was too busy.

    I feel that this has affected my relationships as I am very untrusting and it takes a long time to feel comfortable with being touched as I feel panicky like I have no control over it... I’m not sure how to get over this fear, it’s not that I have a fear of actual sex it’s a fear that being alone with someone will HAVE to lead to sex? I feel that it is always expected and mandatory and I am not sure how I can ever have a successful relationship with these fears hanging over me...
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Yes it was.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    If you said no and he carried on, that is rape. I would say from your post you would benefit from some kind of counselling, contact rape crisis as they have many specialised services which could really help you.

    You never, ever, ever have to have sex with anyone.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    That is rape. I wish you had said something about this to someone sooner. No one should take away your voice like that
    • Community Assistant
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Political Ambassador
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    I am sorry to say this, but that was most definitely the case. If you said no and he carried on, that is what it is.

    On a related side note, I highly suggest not trusting anyone who invites you over for 'little stuff'. It was a lie. While this does not imply that every time someone invites someone over for 'little stuff' is untrue, I advise not to go to their place if they say that just for the sake of safety. His intention was to go all the way regardless of what you said from the beginning.

    Also, you fell out of contact because 'he was too busy'? Please. Do not fall for that lie. He was simply using you and he did not plan to stay around after you had sex with him.

    You must remember that you do not have to have sex with anyone. If you do not want to have sex with a person, say so! If said person still insists and would not take 'no' for an answer, run away, even if that means hitting that person, storming out of their house, and even calling the police. Protecting yourself takes precedence over another person's insistence to use you for their own needs.

    And no, being alone with someone does not mean it has to lead to sex. If you want it to lead to that, go ahead. If not, do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

    As another person has said, I highly recommend contacting some kind of support or helpline to help you deal with this. :console:Stay strong! :penguinhug:
    • #2
    #2

    From your description, you said no to sex and that he carried on anyway. You were probably too shocked to stop the attack from happening and, in my opinion, it was a rape.

    I think that you are having trouble with intimacy to this day because of what happened. Please speak to your doctor, OP, so you can be referred for some counselling to help you overcome this and see that this wasn't your fault. You were taken advantage of by an older man.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    From your description, you said no to sex and that he carried on anyway. You were probably too shocked to stop the attack from happening and, in my opinion, it was a rape.

    I think that you are having trouble with intimacy to this day because of what happened. Please speak to your doctor, OP, so you can be referred for some counselling to help you overcome this and see that this wasn't your fault. You were taken advantage of by an older man.
    There is a problem with what you are saying. You are basically putting your own ideas into the OP's situation which is bad practice. You should be asking open questions.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    That sounds awful yes, 100% rape. Be strong!
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 18, 2018
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.