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    My boyfriend and I are starting uni this September and are studying at nearby unis (about 10 min drive between them). I get a higher loan than he does.

    I suggested we could get a place together and rent because that would keep the cost down for him, and we can start living together full time (currently do one week on/one week off sort of thing). He is doing a grad course so has already been to uni and done all that. He doesn't think we should rent together because he thinks by me living with him rather than other students, I will "miss out" on the uni experience, Freshers, making friends etc.

    To what extent is this true? How many others of you lived with your s.o. straight away? Do you feel like you missed out?

    Should add I'm over 21, so already older than a lot of freshers, and I'm not really into parties, don't drink alcohol etc and will be starting a medical degree, so it's a very heavy workload.

    We've been together for 2 years and he jumped at the chance for us to live together while working this past year, so I don't think it's a case of not wanting to live together, as we already are, and plan to do so when we graduate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I are starting uni this September and are studying at nearby unis (about 10 min drive between them). I get a higher loan than he does.

    I suggested we could get a place together and rent because that would keep the cost down for him, and we can start living together full time (currently do one week on/one week off sort of thing). He is doing a grad course so has already been to uni and done all that. He doesn't think we should rent together because he thinks by me living with him rather than other students, I will "miss out" on the uni experience, Freshers, making friends etc.

    To what extent is this true? How many others of you lived with your s.o. straight away? Do you feel like you missed out?

    Should add I'm over 21, so already older than a lot of freshers, and I'm not really into parties, don't drink alcohol etc and will be starting a medical degree, so it's a very heavy workload.

    We've been together for 2 years and he jumped at the chance for us to live together while working this past year, so I don't think it's a case of not wanting to live together, as we already are, and plan to do so when we graduate.
    I lived with my husband at university and it worked out really well for me and I don't feel like I missed out at all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I are starting uni this September and are studying at nearby unis (about 10 min drive between them). I get a higher loan than he does.

    I suggested we could get a place together and rent because that would keep the cost down for him, and we can start living together full time (currently do one week on/one week off sort of thing). He is doing a grad course so has already been to uni and done all that. He doesn't think we should rent together because he thinks by me living with him rather than other students, I will "miss out" on the uni experience, Freshers, making friends etc.

    To what extent is this true? How many others of you lived with your s.o. straight away? Do you feel like you missed out?

    Should add I'm over 21, so already older than a lot of freshers, and I'm not really into parties, don't drink alcohol etc and will be starting a medical degree, so it's a very heavy workload.

    We've been together for 2 years and he jumped at the chance for us to live together while working this past year, so I don't think it's a case of not wanting to live together, as we already are, and plan to do so when we graduate.
    It sounds like you’re not a partier so I don’t think you’ll miss out. I’m glad I lived in because in my first year I did enjoy going out, but after that I started living with friends and we all kinda gave up on the student life except for the actual studying 😂 So much cheaper as well! I’m also 21 and haven’t been to a club since October. I don’t miss it. My favourite part was always the dressing up so I might go out for a meal and to a cocktail bar occasionally but I value my sleep too much!

    Maybe you need to press and find out if there’s something he’s worried about other than you “missing out”?
    Also what do you intend to do once he graduates in terms of living? I assume your course will last longer than his.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    It sounds like you’re not a partier so I don’t think you’ll miss out. I’m glad I lived in because in my first year I did enjoy going out, but after that I started living with friends and we all kinda gave up on the student life except for the actual studying 😂 So much cheaper as well! I’m also 21 and haven’t been to a club since October. I don’t miss it. My favourite part was always the dressing up so I might go out for a meal and to a cocktail bar occasionally but I value my sleep too much!

    Maybe you need to press and find out if there’s something he’s worried about other than you “missing out”?
    Also what do you intend to do once he graduates in terms of living? I assume your course will last longer than his.
    Whether we live together from the start or not he wants to do a graduate internship in my city for a few years and live with me while I finish the last 1 or 2 years of my degree (depending on how long his lasts, if I intercalate etc). Even if we aren't living together, he seems to be under the impression he can bunk in my accommodation over the summers so he can do placements. :laugh:

    He didn't particularly enjoy halls when he first went to uni - went for an en suite because he couldn't stand shared bathrooms, kept his cooking stuff in his room so others wouldn't pinch it etc, and has advised me to do the same if/when I go to halls. But to me, if it's going to be that much stress (and cost £150pw+ for en suite) we may as well just get somewhere together? At least we know each other's bad habits (and they generally don't cause too much friction).

    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I lived with my husband at university and it worked out really well for me and I don't feel like I missed out at all.
    I'm glad to hear two examples of it working out. Gives me a bit of hope.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm glad to hear two examples of it working out. Gives me a bit of hope.
    Yep it sounds like sharing would be more appropriate! I can’t deal with sharing bathrooms really either, I only do it this year because I know my flatmate pretty well and her hygiene is up to my standard! Same goes for kitchen habits.

    Don’t give yourself the stress. I’m one of those stubborn (but not to anyone’s face) people who thinks things should be done a certain way, so I really didn’t like sharing a kitchen. However thankfully the other girls were hardly in there when I was so I basically thought of the kitchen as my own. But I was always the one emptying the bin and once came in to find my towels soaked with something alcoholic and binned them as I didn’t want to know what it was!

    If you’re not the going out type, and don’t mind just making friends on your course, there really aren’t many benefits to living in halls.

    In addition to that, I really recommend you try and find some coursemates before you start. I did that and found my best friend who I live with now 3 years later! There tends to be Facebook groups and I even posted on here and found a couple of people. Also even though you’re doing medicine don’t be afraid to join a society and make some friends that way. Just don’t join a team (e.g netball or football) as they’ll expect you to take part on matches and training probably 3x a week which might not be achievable with your course.

    I hope you enjoy uni whatever you decide to do!
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    TBH you will still find it harder to make friends even if you aren't big on parties. And if you have a high workload joining lots of societies will be difficult so that will further limit your opportunities. It is important to have friends outside your relationship. Personally I would say live together in second year.
 
 
 
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