The Student Room Group

Lied about my age and ethnicity to my boyfriend

I love him so much and we have been together for about 1.5 years now. We met when I was 16 ('17') and he was 22. I'm now 17 but he thinks Im 18 and I know I should tell him but I'm worried because I didn't realise how serious our relationship would become, but also I was embarrased kinda about this age gap before, but now I don't care...I just don't know if he would.
Reply 1
I want to tell him too, thanks for your reply.
Do you think he won't trust me as much? Because Ive basically been lying about this for all this time
Why dont you just be like “omg i just realised, Im actually a year older!” Like say before you guys gy together you didnt do birthdays much if your that scared to tell him but its not a big deal tbh.
Reply 3
Aw okay
Should I tell him in person? Or on message? We're gonna meet in a few months
Original post by Anonymous
I want to tell him too, thanks for your reply.
Do you think he won't trust me as much? Because Ive basically been lying about this for all this time


I'd say it's better to tell him than to never because it is going to come out eventually. Whether or not he will trust you, it's hard to predict because people react differently to situations. If you explain your reasons fully, maybe he should be able to understand where you're coming from.
Original post by Anonymous
Aw okay
Should I tell him in person? Or on message? We're gonna meet in a few months


i would text him about it and explain why you chose to lie, as well as mentioning to him that you won't do something like that again (unless you're going to do it again, then don't).

i don't think it's that much of a big deal to tell him in person though i suspect others would have differing opinions.
Reply 6
It might make him question what else you've lied to him about but it's best to be up front with him.
Tell him :smile:
Reply 8
You didn't say you were 17 and were actually 15 so I don't think it would bother him for too long.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I love him so much and we have been together for about 1.5 years now. We met when I was 16 ('17':wink: and he was 22. I'm now 17 but he thinks Im 18 and I know I should tell him but I'm worried because I didn't realise how serious our relationship would become, but also I was embarrased kinda about this age gap before, but now I don't care...I just don't know if he would.

Can’t believe you got this far without telling him? Surely he would know - whatever year group you were in taking gcses and all.. you would’ve spoken about it.

Plus it’s been 1.5 years! It seems quite serious. So you probs should have told him by now. No point in lying about it. He is gonna have to know at some point.
This is sehr stressful :/ Ive just messaged him saying I want to talk to him about something. Should I also mention about my ethinicity too or not?
The thing is, its a big deal for me I think, I just dont want this to ruin our things

Btw thanks for your replys

Original post by MKaur18
Can’t believe you got this far without telling him? Surely he would know - whatever year group you were in taking gcses and all.. you would’ve spoken about it.

Plus it’s been 1.5 years! It seems quite serious. So you probs should have told him by now. No point in lying about it. He is gonna have to know at some point.


Original post by Bio 7
You didn't say you were 17 and were actually 15 so I don't think it would bother him for too long.


Original post by Kyber Ninja
I'd tell him in person, it'd be easier to manage and talk about it


Original post by ReadySalted28
Tell him :smile:


Original post by UWS
It might make him question what else you've lied to him about but it's best to be up front with him.


Original post by num.7
i would text him about it and explain why you chose to lie, as well as mentioning to him that you won't do something like that again (unless you're going to do it again, then don't).

i don't think it's that much of a big deal to tell him in person though i suspect others would have differing opinions.


Original post by goincrazy10
I'd say it's better to tell him than to never because it is going to come out eventually. Whether or not he will trust you, it's hard to predict because people react differently to situations. If you explain your reasons fully, maybe he should be able to understand where you're coming from.
Original post by Anonymous
This is sehr stressful :/ Ive just messaged him saying I want to talk to him about something. Should I also mention about my ethinicity too or not?
The thing is, its a big deal for me I think, I just dont want this to ruin our things

Btw thanks for your replys


I think you should mention it. Get it all out of the way. If you tell him later on about that too, he will question his trust probs..
Original post by Kyber Ninja
why did you lie about your ethnicity in the first place? I don't think he'd care about too much, but I don't see the point in it? I can understand age, but not that?

Do his parents want him to marry into a certain ethnicity?


Original post by MKaur18
I think you should mention it. Get it all out of the way. If you tell him later on about that too, he will question his trust probs..


I have LITERALLy just sent the message omg D:
My ethinicity is just percieved as bad and strict and idk I was just stupid to say this at the start I admit that
He thinks Im turkish
You need to be totally honest or you have no chance long term. TBH this would be a real deal breaker for me. I don't want to be with a liar.
Original post by doodle_333
You need to be totally honest or you have no chance long term. TBH this would be a real deal breaker for me. I don't want to be with a liar.


I was honest and we worked it out last night, he couldn't care less because he loves me

Quick Reply

Latest