I'm 18, I've always been bullied for being short, quiet and sometimes my make up because I never used to be that good at it. The shortness and quietness one really gets to me and I always pretend like it doesn't bother me and what people say or think means nothing but now I'm very insecure, sensitive and have 0 confidence, I was also diagnosed with anaemia and an anxiety disorder.
I get paranoid about people talking about me, mainly if it's about the way I look like today I think 2 girls and this guy were talking about me, I have a lazy eye and was worried it might've been to do with that, these guys take the p*ss but I'm not sure if it's in a joking way like saying I'm part of the 7 dwarfs, I have a fluffy coat so they say I'm wearing a dead animal but it's not real fur.
I get paranoid that people don't like me or think I'm ugly, they're judging me for the way I look and I get this feeling I get talked about behind my back a lot, this makes my anxiety kick off and makes me not want to go to college but I have too as I failed all my GCSEs, I just want to kill myself though.
I'm short, fat, quiet, my face is asymmetric, lots of beauty spots, big forehead, face doesn't line up properly, nose is too small for my face, one eye is bigger than the other, lazy eye, one eyebrow higher, one side of my face chubbier and higher again, I'm pure ugly.
I've never had any trouble with getting guys but they're not really attractive, I also seem to attract their horrible personalities as well as looks and me and other girls don't get on, have a hard time making friends, I don't have any confidence, compare myself to these girls, wish I was prettier, wish I was rich and had a better life or better grades, things like that...
What do I do? I can't drive or afford a car either which makes me feel low.
What should I do?