Turn on thread page Beta

Seeing each other, but he doesn't want a relationship? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I have been seeing this guy for almost four months now. We have hung out all weekend every weekend since we first met. We go on nice dates and talk all the time. On Valentines day I made a joke being like 'what am I dating?' and he goes 'we aren't dating you haven't asked me out yet.' and I go 'you don't want to be my boyfriend' and he goes I do, and I go 'no you don't'. He then asks me to go out with him. Two days later on friday, we were messing, and I say 'you can't do that I am your girlfriend now' and he says 'it doesn't count if you make someone ask you out'. Naturally I got pissed off as I feel I didn't make him. Then later that night we come to the conclusion that we are bf/gf but I feel he was just saying that to appease me. I feel like he might not take it very seriously. He kept saying he didn't want things to change, and what difference is the label going to make to how we act now, he also finds getting into a relationship daunting. We then setlled on the idea that it is official. Yet again though I feel like it is to appease me. Side Note: He freaks out when I look into his FB, he clicks out immediately. I called him out on that, he said it was just because his ex used to go mad at stuff on his fb, it is just out of habit. He said he would stop. He is hardly hiding something is he?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    The guy sounds reluctant to commit to you.
    My question is though, why do you want to be with someone so badly when they are so lacking in enthusiasm about being with you?

    You can do better than this.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pancakestrudle1)
    I have been seeing this guy for almost four months now. We have hung out all weekend every weekend since we first met. We go on nice dates and talk all the time. On Valentines day I made a joke being like 'what am I dating?' and he goes 'we aren't dating you haven't asked me out yet.' and I go 'you don't want to be my boyfriend' and he goes I do, and I go 'no you don't'. He then asks me to go out with him. Two days later on friday, we were messing, and I say 'you can't do that I am your girlfriend now' and he says 'it doesn't count if you make someone ask you out'. Naturally I got pissed off as I feel I didn't make him. Then later that night we come to the conclusion that we are bf/gf but I feel he was just saying that to appease me. I feel like he might not take it very seriously. He kept saying he didn't want things to change, and what difference is the label going to make to how we act now, he also finds getting into a relationship daunting. We then setlled on the idea that it is official. Yet again though I feel like it is to appease me.
    I truncated the rest of your statement as the most important part appears above. Also, I agree with Feastful (thus +1-ing them).

    As a bloke, the one you mention simply doesn't want to be in a relationship. Full stop. And it's ok. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with his intentions or desires. Just as there's nothing wrong with you wanting something more. People clique, but they don't always match and THAT'S OK.

    Hate to say this without appearing to have little care, but I challenge you to move forward without him. As a bloke, it'll hurt him a bit but he'll survive. As for you, you'll do the same. You're strong enough, even if you don't think it's possible.

    If you experience challenges along the way, let me know. We'll work though this. I promise.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Thank you. Even though he has agreed that we are now in a relationship and are bf/gf do you think he just said that to make me happy?

    I feel like that is the case, and he said it wasn't. Maybe he just wants to string me along until something better comes along.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pancakestrudle1)
    he goes 'we aren't dating you haven't asked me out yet.' and I go 'you don't want to be my boyfriend' and he goes I do. He then asks me to go out with him. we come to the conclusion that we are bf/gf. We then setlled on the idea that it is official.
    Congratulations, you're dating. Don't make it a big deal, just get on with life. It's nothing but a label.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pancakestrudle1)
    Thank you. Even though he has agreed that we are now in a relationship and are bf/gf do you think he just said that to make me happy?

    I feel like that is the case, and he said it wasn't. Maybe he just wants to string me along until something better comes along.
    What he says counts for didly squat. It's what he does that matters.

    If he acts like you're in a relationship then you are in a relationship.
    If he doesn't, then you aren't.


    From your description it sounds like you'd be happier with someone more mature than him.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 20, 2018
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.