Should my mum pay for train tickets?

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Anonymous #1
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I'm an 18 year old uni student from a low income single parent household receiving no financial aid from home - I can't even afford my rent and come next week will have missed the past 2 months of payment.

I have to spend £100+ on tickets to get to a family wedding which I have no choice but to go to but my mum isn't helping me finance this - am I being unreasonable to think she should at least split the cost with me? She never comes to visit me but always asks me to visit her so I have already spent so much money on going home without her financial aid and I won't even be able to afford food if I buy these tickets myself
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gerib17
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#2
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Yes she should split the cost with you at the least or she pays for it completely. Seeing as you have to go, get it so it’s comes a point where they have to pay for them because otherwise you won’t make it in time to the wedding.
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1582
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If you can't afford it then you shouldn't go. From how you've phrased it it doesn't sound like you are that fussed on going anyway. If your mother has a problem with you saying that you simply can't afford to go so won't then she will likely fund it. But I wouldn't suggest saying that just to try twist her arm on the matter.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gerib17)
Yes she should split the cost with you at the least or she pays for it completely. Seeing as you have to go, get it so it’s comes a point where they have to pay for them because otherwise you won’t make it in time to the wedding.
Mm glad you agree - was concerned I'd look bratty thinking that!

(Original post by sinfonietta)
If you can't afford it then you shouldn't go. From how you've phrased it it doesn't sound like you are that fussed on going anyway. If your mother has a problem with you saying that you simply can't afford to go so won't then she will likely fund it. But I wouldn't suggest saying that just to try twist her arm on the matter.
No, I really want to go and the family members getting married have already paid to put us up in a hotel - I simply can't not go. I'm just a bit miffed that I'm having to pay for it all myself when I know no other kids my age would have to do the same. I'd be less concerned if I had more money obviously but I have about £250 to last me until April.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Mm glad you agree - was concerned I'd look bratty thinking that!



No, I really want to go and the family members getting married have already paid to put us up in a hotel - I simply can't not go. I'm just a bit miffed that I'm having to pay for it all myself when I know no other kids my age would have to do the same. I'd be less concerned if I had more money obviously but I have about £250 to last me until April.
But you're an adult. Not a child.
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DarkKnight06
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Ask your mum to chip in- and pay her back once u have enough or something.
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Anonymous #2
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You're 18. Grow up and sort out your own finances. If you're a student from a low income household surely you have enough money from your maintenance loan to pay for your accommodation? Your mother does not control your life- if you choose to pay to visit her then your financial problems are your own fault. Don't go to the wedding if you can't afford it- you have to prioritise your cash. I find it helpful to write down how much I am allowed to spend a month taking into account things I have to pay for e.g. food. You can get all your food for a week with £10 if you're really careful with money and know where to look.
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gerib17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You're 18. Grow up and sort out your own finances. If you're a student from a low income household surely you have enough money from your maintenance loan to pay for your accommodation? Your mother does not control your life- if you choose to pay to visit her then your financial problems are your own fault. Don't go to the wedding if you can't afford it- you have to prioritise your cash. I find it helpful to write down how much I am allowed to spend a month taking into account things I have to pay for e.g. food. You can get all your food for a week with £10 if you're really careful with money and know where to look.
Doesn’t his mum love him enough to pay for his tickets to go to the wedding? I’m sure she does but she’s being really stubborn right now and should ease off. It’s a mother and son bond and should have the decency to pay for the tickets to get him to the wedding and back ffs it’s not a stranger is it?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by gerib17)
Doesn’t his mum love him enough to pay for his tickets to go to the wedding? I’m sure she does but she’s being really stubborn right now and should ease off. It’s a mother and son bond and should have the decency to pay for the tickets to get him to the wedding and back ffs it’s not a stranger is it?
Money has nothing to do with love. If the thread starter is from a low-income family as he says then it's likely his parents have problems with money too. People rely on their parents far too much and expect money when they are no longer children. At 18, you are either at uni (and so get financial support from the university/government), or you should be in work providing for yourself. I'm 18 and my mam does not pay a penny towards my welfare and we still have a good relationship.
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gerib17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Money has nothing to do with love. If the thread starter is from a low-income family as he says then it's likely his parents have problems with money too. People rely on their parents far too much and expect money when they are no longer children. At 18, you are either at uni (and so get financial support from the university/government), or you should be in work providing for yourself. I'm 18 and my mam does not pay a penny towards my welfare and we still have a good relationship.
Seeing as he has to go to the wedding then why not save him the misery and actually pay for the tickets instead of messing around over say £100 on tickets. After all, they’re in the same economic situation so it’s not like they’re against each other. All I ask for is that they help each other because they’re family. In a statement above the OP said that he has £250 to spend till April, pretty low if you ask me seeing as there is rent and basic essentials.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by gerib17)
Doesn’t his mum love him enough to pay for his tickets to go to the wedding? I’m sure she does but she’s being really stubborn right now and should ease off. It’s a mother and son bond and should have the decency to pay for the tickets to get him to the wedding and back ffs it’s not a stranger is it?
We don't know her financial situation. It's possible she can't afford to pay for herself and the OP to go the wedding.
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gerib17
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(Original post by Tiger Rag)
We don't know her financial situation. It's possible she can't afford to pay for herself and the OP to go the wedding.
He must go to the wedding and if he can’t afford it, what’s going to happen then?
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Claire461
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At 18 he/she could get a job. I have grandchildren that age at uni and they have jobs as well regardless of their parents financial situation. At 18 you are an adult and have to start taking responsibility for yourself.
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Zahid~
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Just tell your mum you're in debt, missing rent payments and so you cant come (basically what you just told us). She'll probably help if she can, if she can't then at least she knows why you cant come.
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DrawTheLine
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#15
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You obviously can't go to the wedding seeing as you can't afford it. Also your mum isn't making you visit, you are choosing to visit her. You are choosing to spend your money on train tickets instead of rent. Sort out your priorities with spending and you'll get back on track but for now you'll have to miss the wedding. It's not the end of the world if you aren't there. It's not like they won't get married because you're absent. Send them a congratulations card, get a job to help you pay and use your maintenance loan (which will be high considering your family income) effectively.
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uberteknik
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Sounds very much like the OP is crap at both financial management as well as poor planning and is behaving with petulance.

Maintenance grants can be supplemented with part time and holiday work. Low income family maintenance loans exceed £11,000 for London and £8300 outside.

A return train ticket London to Edinburgh can be had for £45 booked in advance with a railcard.

It's not meant to be punitive, neither is it meant to be a free lunch.

We do not know the full circumstances, but it does appear that leaving £250 to last until April including rent, is not living a hard student life.
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Winner winner
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#17
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I wouldn’t expect her to help out, since you don’t know her financial situation. As much as you really want to go, sometimes you have to prioritise other things. Rent and affording food over a wedding, is one of those times.
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_rhapsodic
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#18
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you cannot expect your mum to pay it for you; you’re 18. also, you sound incredibly entitled - perhaps better money management/ a new job would benefit you.
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doodle_333
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#19
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Your mum isn't rich either so why should she pay for you?

If you're from a low income family then you receive more than enough student finance to support yourself... you just haven't managed your money. Your mum shouldn't have to bail you out as a result. Presumably you're already putting her at financial risk by not paying your rent (since they will eventually force your gauarantor to pay and she won't be able to afford it). Get a job and take responsibility for yourself. You knew about this wedding months in advance and haven't bothered to save the money, that's not your mum's fault.
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bones-mccoy
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I understand your mum is in a bad financial situation herself but she shouldn't be pressuring you to go if you can't afford it. I do have to agree with other posters, though - weddings are planned months, sometimes even years, in advance so you should have known to save at least some money, unless you just presumed your mum would pay for you?

You need to start looking at your finances realistically and acting like an adult, if you can't even afford rent, why are you still spending money on visiting your mum at home? I recommend you get a job as well if you really are struggling that much. Time to prioritise.
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