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    Hi just 1 paragraph for you to mark my GCSE English lit AQA question
    Starting with this extract, explain how you think Shakespeare presents deceitfulness.
    Write about:
    • how Shakespeare presents deception in this extract
    • how Shakespeare presents deceit in the play as a whole.

    Shakespeare presents deception in this extract by using strong positive adjectives. Lady Macbeth tells Macbeth to be “bright” which connotes light and joy. This suggests that she wants him to lie and trick the guests into thinking Macbeth is a good person. Furthermore she tells him to be “jovial” also suggesting that Macbeth should act in an excited way despite just planning to kill Banquo. This shows deceit as he is showing false face and hiding his evil, cunning plans. Shakespeare wants to get across that being deceitful is bad as later on in the play lady Macbeth and Macbeth both suffer and eventually die. The Jacobean audience would feel disgusted at the fact that the two of them can lie in such a way. They would also feel sorry for the guest who are being tricked by the so called brave, Nobel Macbeth. Earlier on in the play lady Macbeth acts in a similar way and tells Macbeth to “look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under it”. This metaphor of hidden identity further shows how deceitful lady Macbeth can be and how Macbeth plays along with her sly plans.

    Pls give it a grade using 9-1 new system. Thanks. Also tell give me Improvement comments.
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    (Original post by Rags05)
    Hi just 1 paragraph for you to mark my GCSE English lit AQA question
    Starting with this extract, explain how you think Shakespeare presents deceitfulness.
    Write about:
    • how Shakespeare presents deception in this extract
    • how Shakespeare presents deceit in the play as a whole.

    Shakespeare presents deception in this extract by using strong positive adjectives. Lady Macbeth tells Macbeth to be “bright” which connotes light and joy. This suggests that she wants him to lie and trick the guests into thinking Macbeth is a good person. Furthermore she tells him to be “jovial” also suggesting that Macbeth should act in an excited way despite just planning to kill Banquo. This shows deceit as he is showing false face and hiding his evil, cunning plans. Shakespeare wants to get across that being deceitful is bad as later on in the play lady Macbeth and Macbeth both suffer and eventually die. The Jacobean audience would feel disgusted at the fact that the two of them can lie in such a way. They would also feel sorry for the guest who are being tricked by the so called brave, Nobel Macbeth. Earlier on in the play lady Macbeth acts in a similar way and tells Macbeth to “look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under it”. This metaphor of hidden identity further shows how deceitful lady Macbeth can be and how Macbeth plays along with her sly plans.

    Pls give it a grade using 9-1 new system. Thanks. Also tell give me Improvement comments.
    Moved to English study help
    It's really difficult to give it an exact grade when you're looking at a single paragraph (most the higher grade criteria is about doing things consistently)
    I'll give a bit of feedback though:
    -Its really great that you put quotes throughout your paragraph
    -Good you use multiple short quotes also
    -Try to give multiple interpretations of some of your quotes
    -Really good you refer to the reader's response and writer's intentions
    -You talk about strong adjectives at the beginning but by the end you're talking about metaphors, you should refer back to your point and the question at the end of the paragraph
    -Good use of subject terminology
    -Try to add some context(perhaps something about gender roles at the time would be relevant here?)
    If I was guessing I'd probably say around a 7, possibly an 8 but I'm by no means an expeert! and as I said it depends if you're able to link your arguments throughout an entire essay!
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    It really is difficult to mark a single paragraph! But here are some successes and next steps:

    Successes:
    You embed your quotes throughout! This shows that you're consistently drawing support from the text.
    Your analysis is in-depth and thoughtful.
    You analyse the effects of techniques instead of just naming them.
    You included Jacobean era-related context.

    Next Steps:
    This may just be a little nitpick (after all, your paragraph is great!) But instead of simply stating how Shakespeare presents deception, think about the writer at work. What exactly ABOUT deception is he trying to convey? Is it that it's wrong? What is Shakespeare trying to do by presenting it in this way, also? (Simply stating it is "bad" isn't the furthest you can go, after all.)

    For example, instead of "Shakespeare presents deception using strong positive adjectives..."
    You could say "Shakespeare presents deception as a characteristic that may lead to one's downfall. Through the use of..." and so on.

    Hope this helped!
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    (Original post by Lemur14)
    Moved to English study help
    It's really difficult to give it an exact grade when you're looking at a single paragraph (most the higher grade criteria is about doing things consistently)
    I'll give a bit of feedback though:
    -Its really great that you put quotes throughout your paragraph
    -Good you use multiple short quotes also
    -Try to give multiple interpretations of some of your quotes
    -Really good you refer to the reader's response and writer's intentions
    -You talk about strong adjectives at the beginning but by the end you're talking about metaphors, you should refer back to your point and the question at the end of the paragraph
    -Good use of subject terminology
    -Try to add some context(perhaps something about gender roles at the time would be relevant here?)
    If I was guessing I'd probably say around a 7, possibly an 8 but I'm by no means an expeert! and as I said it depends if you're able to link your arguments throughout an entire essay!
    Thanks
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    (Original post by pyon)
    It really is difficult to mark a single paragraph! But here are some successes and next steps:

    Successes:
    You embed your quotes throughout! This shows that you're consistently drawing support from the text.
    Your analysis is in-depth and thoughtful.
    You analyse the effects of techniques instead of just naming them.
    You included Jacobean era-related context.

    Next Steps:
    This may just be a little nitpick (after all, your paragraph is great!) But instead of simply stating how Shakespeare presents deception, think about the writer at work. What exactly ABOUT deception is he trying to convey? Is it that it's wrong? What is Shakespeare trying to do by presenting it in this way, also? (Simply stating it is "bad" isn't the furthest you can go, after all.)

    For example, instead of "Shakespeare presents deception using strong positive adjectives..."
    You could say "Shakespeare presents deception as a characteristic that may lead to one's downfall. Through the use of..." and so on.

    Hope this helped!
    Thanks
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    (Original post by Rags05)
    Thanks
    No worries
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    (Original post by Lemur14)
    No worries
    I’m going to post again later today. I’m doing this question

    Arthur Birling is an appalling character with no redeeming features.’ How far do you agree with this statement? Should I use “I” or not. My teacher tells me never to use “ I” but u don’t understand how else I could answer this question properly
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    (Original post by Rags05)
    I’m going to post again later today. I’m doing this question

    Arthur Birling is an appalling character with no redeeming features.’ How far do you agree with this statement? Should I use “I” or not. My teacher tells me never to use “ I” but u don’t understand how else I could answer this question properly
    I'm not familiar with An Inspector Calls so it's slightly difficult for me to say. My first thought is really they don't usually ask agree/disagree questions so it's unlikely to be an issue but if you want to appease your teacher I'd suggest instead using phrases such as "some may agree as..." "others may disagree because..." then just have your opinion at the end?

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