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    Revision: a love letter


    Hello.
    Introductions have never been my strong suit; I either never know what to write and stare endlessly into the void of Existentialist White™, or ramble on about something that only kind of makes sense to a small amount of people, and even then, it's pushing it. Somehow, this post is both.

    Despite currently being a decent way through year 11, I have only just come to the realisation that, hey, I'm graduating in four months. Whoops. So, spurred on by mild to moderate dread, I have decided that i should probably "streamline my revision" ( well that, but said in a less ambiguous and slightly infuriating way).

    I'm also sorry, by the way. I'm sorry I'm not outwardly optimistic, or brimming with enthusiasm. Well, I'm not actually sorry, but you can pretend I am. I'm sure it's implied too, but I don't have any plans for the future, and I'm just aiming to do what I can. That's not inherently a bad thing though -- to paraphrase Aristotle, the supreme goal of mankind is happiness, but one can have the desire to obtain that happiness in a multitude of ways.

    Really, I'm pretty bad at conclusions too. I'm just going to leave it at that.
    Until next time,
    --Kat
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    From Me, to Me



    Year 10 wasn't the most enjoyable experience, to say the least; I didn't know it then, but life is very, very fleeting. Before I could grasp at the notion of change, thousands of galaxies had been born and withered and died, and I was still on the first page of An Inspector Calls. Yet, life is still absurd despite this, and it was not to say my efforts, however slim, were to be discounted by any means
    .
    It had occurred to me that, although i have learned a lot from living, I have never bothered to listen to my own advice, usually due to the sheer embarrassment of reliving those memories.

    But my friends, the time is nigh. Those lemons aren't going to squeeze themselves, so I might as well get it over with, even if i end up with an absurdly large lemon pit in my eye after half an hour and two millimetres of slightly warm juice, I would still have done it, so at least I'll get a consolation prize, probably. I recently found a letter I had written to myself, so I will enlighten you an extract.

    "Dear Future Me,
    I hope I did you proud in the statistics assessment, because I know you'll do me proud in the rest of the assesment. Aim for 9s, remember. 8s are fine, too. ... And if you do feel sad, remember that I really think you are great, so don't ever think that I would hate you, no matter who you are right now. You'll have good days and bad days, but that's cool because you need that balance in your life. ... Finally, remember that only you can define yourself; no one [cares] about the image you build for yourself any more than you do. "

    I have significantly more realistic standards for myself now, by the way.
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    The inconsistent Triad


    When I was 12, I was asked who my role model was. Naturally, I said my art teacher at the time, who I suppose, I idolised to the extent of worship. He was perfect to me, and I sought his approval at every opportunity. That's what all twelve year olds do, apparently.
    Even then, there was this subtle voice in my head that proclaimed his mediocrity. See, I only really wanted approval, and the easiest way to get that was to put him on the single largest pedestal on this side of Greece. What never had occurred to me, however, was that the illusion could not hold up forever, and no one can be held to such high expectations before being burned to the ground. I think I'm lucky, actually. I managed to forget about his existence before my dreams were shattered into thousands of small, slightly annoying pieces of year 8 drama, and life went on.

    There's this guy I work with, we'll call him Bill (for the sake of privacy). See, Bill is the opposite of what you'd call a role model: he dropped out of sixth form, he's easy to anger, and is stubborn to a fault. Yet, when I first met him, I was convinced I wanted to be more like him.
    If all your life, you've been called a failure and had been denied by your community due to your less desirable personality traits, the natural inclination is to hide that from the world; our first meeting reflected this, and was the most fake conversation I had ever had. Yet, Bill is still Bill, whether on a script or not. He's kind and emphatic, and beyond caring. Sure, he may not know what to say or do sometimes, and one might readily question his motives, but those outward flaws do not mask the quality of his nature.

    I don't appreciate Bill as much as I should in real life, but I really do respect him; I think that he'd probably be alright with that. So here's to 'us', who do not care what other people may think, and are definitely not defined by the grades we achieve. We are the product of so much that it is hard to isolate a singular 'being', so why should we hold ourselves to that standard?
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    Helllooooo :hello:
    I love the style that this blog is written in!
    Just wanted to say that you're doing great :hugs:
    Keep it up
    (Sorry if you didn't want comments)
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    The Pursuit of Perfection



    The most widely known teaching in Buddhism, aside from Karma, is the notion that "to crave is to suffer". It may seem counterproductive at first to apply this to academic success. After all, if we don't want our grades, how will we ever achieve them?

    In response, I would argue rather vehemently about the destructive nature of excessive productivity; one may, at first, have the ability to make 3840 flashcards in a night, revising them constantly until their fingers tremble from the unrelenting ecstasy caused by the knowledge of the function of the heart, but it rarely ever sticks. The unnecessary amplification of stress is the last thing you need at this point, especially as (it is widely agreed upon anyway), in the life one leads, it is preferable to happy as possible.

    Now, the desire of academic success is a noble ideology and (to put you at rest) I'm pretty sure many Buddhists would think so too. The main goal though, is balance. It's arguably harder to enjoy all aspects of life equally, than living to one extreme or another, I suppose; to excessively do something is easy to justify, and calms one's nerves down to a point. However, true success can be achieved when one studies their priorities and adjusts their lives to suit thus. At least, it's probably worked for me.
 
 
 
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