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What to do when she acts so cold? watch

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    Hello,
    This is the first time I've come onto a forum to express my feelings on a private matter, so I hope you don't mind if my post is messy and my thoughts jumbled in certain places.

    I'm 18, male and currently attending university.
    I've known Lydia for 8 years and we dated for 2 years of those and she was my best friend as well as my girlfriend. We broke up this time last year and didn't speak for almost 5 months. She moved on rather quickly and seemed to forget about me. But we both went to the same university and we started seeing each other again. She broke up with the guy with whom she got with after we broke up and things began to get intimate between us again.
    Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was hers but I don't think either of us stopped loving each other and rather than take the time to do things properly and build stable foundations again we rushed in.
    Things quickly became a mess as either of us knew what we were or what we wanted.

    Lydia is incredibly beautiful and gets a lot of attention from guys. I think she enjoys it and it makes things incredibly difficult for me as I've always felt insecure and not good enough.
    I've tried everything to change things between us but at the moment all we seem to do is argue.
    She never wants to meet when I ask, she rejects every attempt I make to move things forward. Shes cold and heartless and if I'm being honest with myself doesn't appreciate me at all.
    I love her, I try my best to make her happy but sometimes the things she asks of me result in me sacrificing my own happiness to fuel hers and if I try to stick up for myself she just says 'why should I sacrifice my happiness'.
    I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm young and human and I make mistakes. But I try my hardest to make her happy and to be everything she wants but its never enough.
    So my question is what should I do?
    I know its one hell of a question and one I can't hope to ever get the solution to answer all my problems.
    I've tried everything, I know a lot of people say to give her space and ignore her for a while but I worry that she'd just forget about me. Others suggest making her jealous but I know her, and if I tried this she'd end up getting with someone and it would hurt me more than it would solve anything.
    She does tell me she loves me in her own way, I just don't know how to reach her. How to get her to change her attitude and stop taking me granted and assuming that no matter how poorly she treats me I'll always be there.
    I'm sorry that this was so long and wordy I did not really know how to explain everything and I guess even if no one ends up reading this it was nice to open up and express my feelings even if it was just to the endless void that is the internet.
    Thank you.
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    Dont let her walk over you like that. Be a man and show her that you are one and you arent gonna take any of her bull crap
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    In my opinion small arguments and disagreements are healthy in relationships because it is important to have different opinions on certain matters however what I don't believe is healthy is constant arguments If these arguments are so constant that they are beginning to get to you or the other person, that's when you need to really look at the relationship and decide if you are really happy or not.
    Of course if you love someone you want to be with them but if the relationship turns to something that makes you unhappy then you need to decide what will make you happy again. Arguments however can be resolved and relationships strengthened again but that can only happen if both of you want to work on it.
    I don't think jealousy is the way to go as it could probably just create more problems but I think a good idea would be for both of you to sit down and speak about everything and tell each other how you really feel. Tell her that she can't walk all over you.
    In the end though it is your life and your relationship and I advise you to do what makes you truly happy and put yourself first in a more passive than aggressive way. Your mental health is just as important!
    On another note, as helpful as I try to be I am certainly not experienced on these whole matters and please feel free to ignore anything I've said as I am no expert. I simply just said what I would say to anyone in this situation but I don't really know personally what it is like.
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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lren10)
    In my opinion small arguments and disagreements are healthy in relationships because it is important to have different opinions on certain matters however what I don't believe is healthy is constant arguments If these arguments are so constant that they are beginning to get to you or the other person, that's when you need to really look at the relationship and decide if you are really happy or not.
    Of course if you love someone you want to be with them but if the relationship turns to something that makes you unhappy then you need to decide what will make you happy again. Arguments however can be resolved and relationships strengthened again but that can only happen if both of you want to work on it.
    I don't think jealousy is the way to go as it could probably just create more problems but I think a good idea would be for both of you to sit down and speak about everything and tell each other how you really feel. Tell her that she can't walk all over you.
    In the end though it is your life and your relationship and I advise you to do what makes you truly happy and put yourself first in a more passive than aggressive way. Your mental health is just as important!
    On another note, as helpful as I try to be I am certainly not experienced on these whole matters and please feel free to ignore anything I've said as I am no expert. I simply just said what I would say to anyone in this situation but I don't really know personally what it is like.
    Thank you so much, this was really helpful!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much, this was really helpful!
    Anytime! I wish you the best!
 
 
 
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