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My parents want me to marry my cousin watch

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    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
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    yee haw
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
    Well, couldn't you just report your parents to the police if they were taking your sisters against their will out of the country
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    Don't move out and just try your best to persuade them. Try and say stuff like not yet. I'm Pakistani and my brother left the house and now I see him secretly after school sometimes for the past year. He regrets it but he's not coming back home
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    (Original post by Kyber Ninja)
    Well, couldn't you just report your parents to the police if they were taking your sisters against their will out of the country
    They are their legal guardians. If they say we are moving because we like the lifestyle there and we prefer thr culture and my sisters are underage. Im not sure what they will do about it.
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    Wow erm... Dunno what to say really. I'm also Pakistani btw- I deffo understand that culture- yeah thats kinda forced marriage isn't it?

    Sit with ur parents and say u won't get married as ur too young, if they don't agree then.. I'm sure they cant drag u to PK.
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    That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this

    If I were you I would talk to a student support team/tutor if you're at college/sixth form/uni and they will be able to guide and advise you further. Or any friends or family you can confide in? They may be able to put you up so you don't have to be forced into this.

    It's hard to know what to suggest to you in this situation, but I would also look at getting a job if you haven't already and practice being financially independent, ready for leaving. However, no matter what religion anyone practices, I think family must respect your free will especially when it comes to serious things like marriage. How do your sister's feel about this situation?
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    They are their legal guardians. If they say we are moving because we like the lifestyle there and we prefer thr culture and my sisters are underage. Im not sure what they will do about it.
    Hypothetically speaking, can't you become a legal guardian at 18 and state they're going to marry them off?

    In this instance, your probably have to take care of them yourself, or at least have another family member that's on your side
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    What part of Pakistan you from?
    #Askingtherealquestions
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    https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

    Your parents are committing a criminal offence.
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    (Original post by CatL8)
    That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this

    If I were you I would talk to a student support team/tutor if you're at college/sixth form/uni and they will be able to guide and advise you further. Or any friends or family you can confide in? They may be able to put you up so you don't have to be forced into this.

    It's hard to know what to suggest to you in this situation, but I would also look at getting a job if you haven't already and practice being financially independent, ready for leaving. However, no matter what religion anyone practices, I think family must respect your free will especially when it comes to serious things like marriage. How do your sister's feel about this situation?
    This is one smart person. Yeah do this. Follow her advise, get a job- try becoming financially independent as much as you can before leaving home.
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    All my siblinge are by my side. I am more than happy to be their legal guardian but honestly its scary.
    (Original post by Kyber Ninja)
    Hypothetically speaking, can't you become a legal guardian at 18 and state they're going to marry them off?

    In this instance, your probably have to take care of them yourself, or at least have another family member that's on your side
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    I have a job i can take care of myself without my parents but i can't take care of my sister's if i take their responsibility
    (Original post by CatL8)
    That sounds horrible, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this

    If I were you I would talk to a student support team/tutor if you're at college/sixth form/uni and they will be able to guide and advise you further. Or any friends or family you can confide in? They may be able to put you up so you don't have to be forced into this.

    It's hard to know what to suggest to you in this situation, but I would also look at getting a job if you haven't already and practice being financially independent, ready for leaving. However, no matter what religion anyone practices, I think family must respect your free will especially when it comes to serious things like marriage. How do your sister's feel about this situation?
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
    I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

    You are your own person and you have the right to choose your own husband when you are ready. You are not the property of your parents and they have no right to treat you as if you are. There is a lot of help available and I urge you contact organisations that can help you. They can help and give advice with regard to your sisters. The government helpline is a good place to start:

    https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

    You and your sisters are British citizens and are entitled to the full protection of the state. Don't let your family blackmail you into a marriage that you don't want. That is not the way a caring parent behaves.
    Wishing you the very best
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
    Firstly, sit your parents down and tell them you want to talk.
    Tell them that whoever you will marry, you will live with them, not them. Ask them why they brought you to this country and give you a better education to only then marry you off. Ask them they even care about you. Tell them why marrying cousins isn’t ethically right because there’s a high chance of deformity in spawns as well as the fact that in the Quran it may allow it but it does not mean it advises it. Also forcing is not the way of allah and forcing you is a great sin as well. If you don’t accept the marriage in allahs eyes that marriage won’t be accepted because it’s not mutual.

    Make them feel guilty and get them to understand your feelings. Your parents are narrow minded due to how they were brought up, what I will advise u is to stand up for yourself, the weaker you seem the less confidence they’ll have in you. Show them that you have more potential then just being a daughter that can only get married.

    Honestly, no one can force you. No one. Your younger sisters and you, I would advise you guys to have a chat together it will be a form some kind of comfort because they will understand more then anyone in what kind of position you are.

    In the case of your pRents resorting to violence, let them dare, that will give you the best chance to bail them out with evidence to the police of. It only illegal marriage but child abuse which in this case your younger sisters will also be under protection,

    Since you’re 18, approach your head councilor of school/college and talk to them. They will get it started and provide child protection.
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    I will miss only my siblings a lot but they are being so horrible. I hate them so much now that i wish i was able to take my brother and sister's with me but i can't.
    (Original post by MyG19)
    Don't move out and just try your best to persuade them. Try and say stuff like not yet. I'm Pakistani and my brother left the house and now I see him secretly after school sometimes for the past year. He regrets it but he's not coming back home
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
    Your username's making me a bit doubtful of the legitimacy of your case..
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    (Original post by Meme161_)
    Ok so im originally a Pakistani. I live here with my parents and 5 sibling (i know big family). I will be 18 im a month and my mom was telling me how we would go to pakistan by September and she is planning to get me married to MY COUSIN. I told her im not ready and im way too young and i think marrying a cousin is disgusting. She shouted at me a lot and said "what the hell, aren't u a muslim. It says in the quran u can marry ur cousin". I said in quran it says not to force either. My mom and dad got very angry and threatened to slap me. I kept quiet. I plan to move out and cut the contact but im concerned about my 2 younger sisters. I know if i leave they will take them back to Pakistan. I don't know what to do.
    Firstly, no one can force you or your sisters into a marriage.
    It is a criminal offence in the UK.
    There is a specialist unit to help people in your position, even if all you want is some advice.
    https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

    This is the UK, not Pakistan, neither you nor your sisters have to do anything you don't want to.
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    Yes my situation is sp fake.
    I see my brother and sister's cry coz they threaten us everyday. Im just having fun here because my parents are pieces of **** to make my siblings i love cry.
    (Original post by k.n.h.)
    Your username's making me a bit doubtful of the legitimacy of your case..
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    Lmao people are actually taking this troll seriously. "Meme161_"
 
 
 
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