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I can’t make my boyfriend *** and it’s ruining my self esteem watch

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    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months, before we started dating he was definitley a player. He’s slept with around 30 women, and masturbates regularily. He’s never had this issue before with cumming. In the beginning it was hard to make him *** too, but we got there after 3 hours... I’ve tried so hard, foreplay, role play, new positions, sucking, stroking, everything I could thing of, and research. I asked him for tips and I’ve followed all of them, I’ve been more verbal, I’ve switched things up more, yet I haven’t been able to make him *** in a month. I’ve jacked him off for literally 3 hours once (because I guess he’s used to masturbating so it feels better for him) he still didn’t ***, that’s how dedicated I am. I’ve expressed my concerns that it’s just me, I’m very insecure. He has reassured me that he doesn’t know why he can’t *** but it’s definitley not me because I haven’t done anything wrong and that I’m great at sex. Then why when he masturbates he can come, but when I jack him off (listening to all his advice the whole time) he can’t? I feel so ugly and I feel like it’s completley me... what else could it be? We have also tried him stopping masturbating for a while and it still hasn’t worked. Sex has become a chore for me now, but I feel like I need to please him, yet I feel like I’m constantly left disappointed with myself, sad... I’m trying so hard whenever we have sex, and I also try to be more neutral and not try too! Just to switch it up! Nothing has worked, he smokes cigarettes and is on anti-depressants... which I know can prevent achieving climax, but he can make himself *** so it still doesn’t make sense. Whenever he makes me *** I feel like **** because I’m sad about it, please help me because I’m so upset...
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    (Original post by Pigster)
    Can you please be my girlfriend? You sound perfect.
    would neg
    • #1
    #1

    How come male who are not loyal get women and I can't despite being loyal?
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    tell your boyfriend to check this out http://www.nofap.com
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    This is really simple yknow...
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    (Original post by Amandabrown3177)
    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months, before we started dating he was definitley a player. He’s slept with around 30 women, and masturbates regularily. He’s never had this issue before with cumming. In the beginning it was hard to make him *** too, but we got there after 3 hours... I’ve tried so hard, foreplay, role play, new positions, sucking, stroking, everything I could thing of, and research. I asked him for tips and I’ve followed all of them, I’ve been more verbal, I’ve switched things up more, yet I haven’t been able to make him *** in a month. I’ve jacked him off for literally 3 hours once (because I guess he’s used to masturbating so it feels better for him) he still didn’t ***, that’s how dedicated I am. I’ve expressed my concerns that it’s just me, I’m very insecure. He has reassured me that he doesn’t know why he can’t *** but it’s definitley not me because I haven’t done anything wrong and that I’m great at sex. Then why when he masturbates he can come, but when I jack him off (listening to all his advice the whole time) he can’t? I feel so ugly and I feel like it’s completley me... what else could it be? We have also tried him stopping masturbating for a while and it still hasn’t worked. Sex has become a chore for me now, but I feel like I need to please him, yet I feel like I’m constantly left disappointed with myself, sad... I’m trying so hard whenever we have sex, and I also try to be more neutral and not try too! Just to switch it up! Nothing has worked, he smokes cigarettes and is on anti-depressants... which I know can prevent achieving climax, but he can make himself *** so it still doesn’t make sense. Whenever he makes me *** I feel like **** because I’m sad about it, please help me because I’m so upset...
    Get him to try and cut down on these. Especially masturbating regularly. While masturbation is good, it's a pretty surefire way of desensitizing yourself if you're a guy. I used to abstain for a week before visiting my (long-distance) ex-girlfriends, for this reason.
    • #2
    #2

    Your boyfriend needs to literally abstain for a while. Honestly it isn't you!! But you're right sex the way you are doing it is a chore - a non-subtainable one at that. You can't have a long term relationship that way. I, personally, feel that your bf is either basically oversaturated with porn and fapping or not straight. If he's oversaturated then, because sex is 90% mental, he needs to see more salacious images to keep him interested or experience more out of the box sex acts like sex with strangers (30 women) or in public (whatever) and straight up sex in a traditional manner is probably not going to be enough for him, unfortunately. This, of course, is a problem because it leads to all sorts of sexual perversion. If he cares about you and the relationship he needs to stop viewing porn and faping. This is going to take a long time to correct. Sadly, he may not be able to correct this himself and in extreme situations may require professional counseling.
    At the end of the day though this is something he has created for himself and you have absolutely done nothing wrong. The situation won't change though unless he is willing to make some changes. Personally, I'd hold off trying so hard for a while.
    Also, I hope he works hard to make it pleasurable for you and he's not making it all about himself.
    • #3
    #3

    Maybe he loves you

    Men always have difficulty coming when feelings are involved. That's why it's easy for him alone than when he is with you.
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    Google 'tantric lingam massage'
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How come male who are not loyal get women and I can't despite being loyal?
    Yeh, i'd like to know the answer to that one too!!! If you find out, lemme know please!!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe he loves you

    Men always have difficulty coming when feelings are involved. That's why it's easy for him alone than when he is with you.
    That's news to me, really?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe he loves you

    Men always have difficulty coming when feelings are involved. That's why it's easy for him alone than when he is with you.
    He does love me, I’m his first love. And he also finds me really attractive and reassured me of this that’s why I’m confused..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your boyfriend needs to literally abstain for a while. Honestly it isn't you!! But you're right sex the way you are doing it is a chore - a non-subtainable one at that. You can't have a long term relationship that way. I, personally, feel that your bf is either basically oversaturated with porn and fapping or not straight. If he's oversaturated then, because sex is 90% mental, he needs to see more salacious images to keep him interested or experience more out of the box sex acts like sex with strangers (30 women) or in public (whatever) and straight up sex in a traditional manner is probably not going to be enough for him, unfortunately. This, of course, is a problem because it leads to all sorts of sexual perversion. If he cares about you and the relationship he needs to stop viewing porn and faping. This is going to take a long time to correct. Sadly, he may not be able to correct this himself and in extreme situations may require professional counseling.
    At the end of the day though this is something he has created for himself and you have absolutely done nothing wrong. The situation won't change though unless he is willing to make some changes. Personally, I'd hold off trying so hard for a while.
    Also, I hope he works hard to make it pleasurable for you and he's not making it all about himself.
    I know he’s definitley not gay, and he told me he doesn’t watch porn anymore except for the videos we make. I believe him, he’s a very truthful person. He says he thinks it’s a mental block because I’ve expressed my concern with him not cumming and now apparently whenever he feels like he’s going to *** he focuses on it too much and it ruins it for him. I guess I made him feel pressure ughhhh
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    (Original post by Amandabrown3177)
    He does love me, I’m his first love. And he also finds me really attractive and reassured me of this that’s why I’m confused..
    (Original post by Tootles)
    Get him to try and cut down on these. Especially masturbating regularly. While masturbation is good, it's a pretty surefire way of desensitizing yourself if you're a guy. I used to abstain for a week before visiting my (long-distance) ex-girlfriends, for this reason.
    ^
    This.
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    ask him whats wrong

    (Original post by Amandabrown3177)
    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months, before we started dating he was definitley a player. He’s slept with around 30 women, and masturbates regularily. He’s never had this issue before with cumming. In the beginning it was hard to make him *** too, but we got there after 3 hours... I’ve tried so hard, foreplay, role play, new positions, sucking, stroking, everything I could thing of, and research. I asked him for tips and I’ve followed all of them, I’ve been more verbal, I’ve switched things up more, yet I haven’t been able to make him *** in a month. I’ve jacked him off for literally 3 hours once (because I guess he’s used to masturbating so it feels better for him) he still didn’t ***, that’s how dedicated I am. I’ve expressed my concerns that it’s just me, I’m very insecure. He has reassured me that he doesn’t know why he can’t *** but it’s definitley not me because I haven’t done anything wrong and that I’m great at sex. Then why when he masturbates he can come, but when I jack him off (listening to all his advice the whole time) he can’t? I feel so ugly and I feel like it’s completley me... what else could it be? We have also tried him stopping masturbating for a while and it still hasn’t worked. Sex has become a chore for me now, but I feel like I need to please him, yet I feel like I’m constantly left disappointed with myself, sad... I’m trying so hard whenever we have sex, and I also try to be more neutral and not try too! Just to switch it up! Nothing has worked, he smokes cigarettes and is on anti-depressants... which I know can prevent achieving climax, but he can make himself *** so it still doesn’t make sense. Whenever he makes me *** I feel like **** because I’m sad about it, please help me because I’m so upset...
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Amandabrown3177)
    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months, before we started dating he was definitley a player. He’s slept with around 30 women, and masturbates regularily. He’s never had this issue before with cumming. In the beginning it was hard to make him *** too, but we got there after 3 hours... I’ve tried so hard, foreplay, role play, new positions, sucking, stroking, everything I could thing of, and research. I asked him for tips and I’ve followed all of them, I’ve been more verbal, I’ve switched things up more, yet I haven’t been able to make him *** in a month. I’ve jacked him off for literally 3 hours once (because I guess he’s used to masturbating so it feels better for him) he still didn’t ***, that’s how dedicated I am. I’ve expressed my concerns that it’s just me, I’m very insecure. He has reassured me that he doesn’t know why he can’t *** but it’s definitley not me because I haven’t done anything wrong and that I’m great at sex. Then why when he masturbates he can come, but when I jack him off (listening to all his advice the whole time) he can’t? I feel so ugly and I feel like it’s completley me... what else could it be? We have also tried him stopping masturbating for a while and it still hasn’t worked. Sex has become a chore for me now, but I feel like I need to please him, yet I feel like I’m constantly left disappointed with myself, sad... I’m trying so hard whenever we have sex, and I also try to be more neutral and not try too! Just to switch it up! Nothing has worked, he smokes cigarettes and is on anti-depressants... which I know can prevent achieving climax, but he can make himself *** so it still doesn’t make sense. Whenever he makes me *** I feel like **** because I’m sad about it, please help me because I’m so upset...
    i think i have the perfect solution for you. dont have sex naked but do it with 'appealing' clothes. i dont mean halloween corsets, but heels, skirt etc. the problem is that porn makes men desensitised to the naked body meaning you need to leave more to the imagination to get him going.
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    (Original post by euphrosyne)
    That's news to me, really?
    I’ve heard of this before when doing research. I am his first love but we’ve been dating for 5 months now so I thought he would be use to it.
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    (Original post by Amandabrown3177)
    I’ve heard of this before when doing research. I am his first love but we’ve been dating for 5 months now so I thought he would be use to it.
    ask him whats wrong and maybe it will be clearer to you mate
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    ^ I wouldn't think the OP was a troll, but maybe she should not engage with sex so much for his desire.
    If he cannot bust a nut when you attempt to help him out, then his mind is clearly not focused on you, but on something else - hence he can easily do it when you're not with him.
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    one month abstinence. make him work for it. and maybe hes a submissive
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