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username4328852
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#81
Report 1 year ago
#81
My grandad died almost 7 years ago from cancer and everyone acts like he didn't exist. Me and my nan go to where we put his ashes and look at photos of him but I stg everyone else has pushed him away. After his funeral no one said another word about him and it's so unfair. He was like my best friend and did everything for me, and everyone wants to forget that.
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claireestelle
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#82
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#82
(Original post by LunaLovegood2508)
My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer today. It's the first instance of cancer in my family and I'm a little unsure how to feel. She said that the doctor told her it was treatable with surgery and she's going for an MRI scan on tuesday to see what sort of surgery she needs. I don't know what stage cancer it is, or how long the treatment will take or if there will be complications... I'm a bit of a worrier anyway. I also have 3 university assignment deadlines next thursday which I'm worried I won't meet. Do you think this is a valid extenuating circumstance?
Yes it's definitely a valid circumstance. it's very difficult in that initial time where you don't have any information about treatment or what stage it is but you can't i suppose prepare for what you are facing but the fact they've mentioned surgery as an option is positive. I've lost one grandad to cancer and will lose the other grandad to it sometime this year (and my dad passed when I was young so i know how difficult it can be with ill family members) , just let yourself feel how you feel, there's no "right" way to feel. If you feel you can then talk to people about how you're feeling, it will help. If you need a chat, then feel free to PM me.
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Anonymous #8
#83
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#83
100% a valid reason. You probably don't feel with it right now, I know that when my mum told me I kept forgetting and then it came back and you remember and it feels like you being told again so it will take a while to sink in. If you need any advice just message here everyone lovely
(What year are you if u don't mind me asking)
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LunaLovegood2508
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#84
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#84
(Original post by Pathway)
Yes. I got to redo an exam due in part because of my mum's breast cancer diagnosis (although I also lost one of my best friends to suicide a week after I found out about my mum's cancer and was also quite ill when I sat the exam). They caught her cancer early, but it was aggressive, so she had two surgeries and had a round of radiotherapy. She also takes tamoxifen to prevent it coming back, she is still in remission now (she was diagnosed in 2015). If you need to chat you're welcome to message me.
Thank you. I'm glad to hear your mum is doing better now. I have applied for an extension to my uni deadlines, so we'll see what happens there...
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LunaLovegood2508
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#85
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#85
(Original post by claireestelle)
Yes it's definitely a valid circumstance. it's very difficult in that initial time where you don't have any information about treatment or what stage it is but you can't i suppose prepare for what you are facing but the fact they've mentioned surgery as an option is positive. I've lost one grandad to cancer and will lose the other grandad to it sometime this year (and my dad passed when I was young so i know how difficult it can be with ill family members) , just let yourself feel how you feel, there's no "right" way to feel. If you feel you can then talk to people about how you're feeling, it will help. If you need a chat, then feel free to PM me.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I'm sorry to hear about your family members with cancer, it must be difficult for you. I know that there are people out there going through a similar experience to me right now, so I'm not alone in this. Cancer is the most vile thing in the world.
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claireestelle
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#86
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#86
(Original post by LunaLovegood2508)
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I'm sorry to hear about your family members with cancer, it must be difficult for you. I know that there are people out there going through a similar experience to me right now, so I'm not alone in this. Cancer is the most vile thing in the world.
It is an awful thing to watch someone go through, and you're right you certainly are not alone in this.
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LunaLovegood2508
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#87
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#87
(Original post by Anonymous)
100% a valid reason. You probably don't feel with it right now, I know that when my mum told me I kept forgetting and then it came back and you remember and it feels like you being told again so it will take a while to sink in. If you need any advice just message here everyone lovely
(What year are you if u don't mind me asking)
You didn't quote me, but I think you were talking to me here?

I'm in my first year at uni, and I know everyone says 'first year doesn't count' but obviously I still want to do well lol. I've applied for a deadline extension, so I'll just have to wait and see. Thank you for you kind words, and yeah it's a weird feeling. How is your mum now?
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Shaky2017
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#88
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#88
(Original post by LunaLovegood2508)
You didn't quote me, but I think you were talking to me here?

I'm in my first year at uni, and I know everyone says 'first year doesn't count' but obviously I still want to do well lol. I've applied for a deadline extension, so I'll just have to wait and see. Thank you for you kind words, and yeah it's a weird feeling. How is your mum now?
Hi there yes I was talking to you I'm.also in first year and luckly my mum is fine now I'm only back on here cos my nan has recently been diagnosed with advanced cancer. I have my exams in a week but am.just going to do them and hopefully get 50. How have you been dealing.with it.so.far?
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shadowdweller
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#89
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#89
(Original post by Shaky2017)
Hi there yes I was talking to you I'm.also in first year and luckly my mum is fine now I'm only back on here cos my nan has recently been diagnosed with advanced cancer. I have my exams in a week but am.just going to do them and hopefully get 50. How have you been dealing.with it.so.far?
Sorry to hear about your nan :hugs:
(Original post by 4 1 14 9 5 12)
My grandad died almost 7 years ago from cancer and everyone acts like he didn't exist. Me and my nan go to where we put his ashes and look at photos of him but I stg everyone else has pushed him away. After his funeral no one said another word about him and it's so unfair. He was like my best friend and did everything for me, and everyone wants to forget that.
I think something worth noting here is that people deal with grief and loss in different ways - whilst I can totally understand why you’d be upset and frustrated by people not talking about him now he’s passed, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re just forgetting him. For some people loss means not being able to talk about them. For others it could mean reflecting internally on the person rather than outwardly.

If it’s upsetting you then the best thing to do is to talk to them about it, and to try to find out why they’re dealing with it in this way. They might not even realise they’re doing it.
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Anonymous #9
#90
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#90
Nan's cancer is hopefully clearing up now although she's got a review appointment soon when they'll send for more scans and things. Mum's got something ongoing which was a false alarm a few years ago but seems to have come back now so they're doing more tests and scans. Tense times I guess. Feels a bit difficult because I'm stuck at uni so can't help that much.
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shadowdweller
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#91
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#91
(Original post by Anonymous)
Nan's cancer is hopefully clearing up now although she's got a review appointment soon when they'll send for more scans and things. Mum's got something ongoing which was a false alarm a few years ago but seems to have come back now so they're doing more tests and scans. Tense times I guess. Feels a bit difficult because I'm stuck at uni so can't help that much.
Really sorry to hear all this :hugs:

Fingers crossed for your mum and your nan, I hope it's good news for you all!
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Shaky2017
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#92
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#92
I've been quiet on here for a while but my nan died last week. I've gone back to uni now but I'm over 20 hours behind on lectures. I haven't grieved before and I'm not really sure how so yeah thats that.
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shadowdweller
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#93
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#93
(Original post by Shaky2017)
I've been quiet on here for a while but my nan died last week. I've gone back to uni now but I'm over 20 hours behind on lectures. I haven't grieved before and I'm not really sure how so yeah thats that.
I'm so sorry to hear this :hugs:

Have you considered talking to the MH services at your uni and seeing if they offer bereavement counseling? It might be something that could help you through it, at least somewhat.
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Anonymous #1
#94
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#94
(Original post by Shaky2017)
I've been quiet on here for a while but my nan died last week. I've gone back to uni now but I'm over 20 hours behind on lectures. I haven't grieved before and I'm not really sure how so yeah thats that.
That's such a shame, so sorry to hear that There's no real 'right' way to grieve and it does take time - you can go through waves of being 'ok' and times where it affects you more. A week is not a long time in the grieving process. Don't bottle up your feelings, but equally do things that help you (see friends, watch comedy films - something to distract yourself)

(Original post by Anonymous)
Nan's cancer is hopefully clearing up now although she's got a review appointment soon when they'll send for more scans and things. Mum's got something ongoing which was a false alarm a few years ago but seems to have come back now so they're doing more tests and scans. Tense times I guess. Feels a bit difficult because I'm stuck at uni so can't help that much.
Really sorry to hear that, it must be so stressful for you and your family

---

In my news - my mum is back in hospital, as her liver function is really poor. They did a biopsy and are awaiting the results - it might be a graft vs. host reaction, but there are also a couple of other possibilities too. Weird thing is, she feels fine in herself
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Anonymous #9
#95
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#95
(Original post by Anonymous)
Nan's cancer is hopefully clearing up now although she's got a review appointment soon when they'll send for more scans and things. Mum's got something ongoing which was a false alarm a few years ago but seems to have come back now so they're doing more tests and scans. Tense times I guess. Feels a bit difficult because I'm stuck at uni so can't help that much.
Good news today. Nan was given the all clear a few weeks ago.
Mum had an appointment today, she's clear of cancer after testing the lymph nodes.
They are still going to do some preventative treatment though so it's not the end of the road. Her hormones are a bit risky for cancer to spread in so it's hormone chemotherapy, as well as radiotherapy, injections and pills. She won't be fit and healthy again for some time.
Overall though, still great news.
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Anonymous #1
#96
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#96
That's good news hope everything goes well with your mum's treatment
(Original post by Anonymous)
Good news today. Nan was given the all clear a few weeks ago.
Mum had an appointment today, she's clear of cancer after testing the lymph nodes.
They are still going to do some preventative treatment though so it's not the end of the road. Her hormones are a bit risky for cancer to spread in so it's hormone chemotherapy, as well as radiotherapy, injections and pills. She won't be fit and healthy again for some time.
Overall though, still great news.
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shadowdweller
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#97
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#97
Thought I'd give this a bump, to see if there is anyone needing support currently :hugs:
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Pathway
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#98
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#98
(Original post by shadowdweller)
Thought I'd give this a bump, to see if there is anyone needing support currently :hugs:
:hugs:

My mum will be going for her annual check up soon. Kinda worried, but I'm sure she will be OK.
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shadowdweller
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#99
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#99
(Original post by Pathway)
:hugs:

My mum will be going for her annual check up soon. Kinda worried, but I'm sure she will be OK.
Awh, will be thinking of you both! :hugs:

Check ups are always a bit scary, but they hardly ever turn out to be anything but precaution!
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Pathway
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#100
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#100
(Original post by shadowdweller)
Awh, will be thinking of you both! :hugs:

Check ups are always a bit scary, but they hardly ever turn out to be anything but precaution!
Yeah, she only had one scare since her diagnosis in 2015, I'm thinking it will be alright, but can't help worrying anyway. :dontknow: How are you?
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