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    At a loss of what to do. Thoroughly.

    My environment that I’m in is SQUISHING me down — the school’s culture feels so off and is not for me at all. Everything is just so terribly negative. To the point where I know it’s that, as when it’s the holidays, I’m completely fine in myself.

    Don’t know how I’m going to pull myself through it and find the strength to study well. It’s not a conducive atmosphere for good grades and I have 12 academic weeks left before I leave and go to college — I know it’ll fly but the thought of that many ‘get ups’ makes me feel sick.

    I have one true/take a bullet for you friend — male (and I’m female). He feels similar about the place but gets on average-ish with the group of lads he’s in, and sits with them at break and lunch etc. Other than that there’s a couple of girls I don’t mind, but they’re already in pre-established groups. I can’t exactly impose on it and not everyone likes me.

    Feel like a riiiiight outcast. Currently in a group of 8 at lunch because two of the girls used to be my friends, but I know for certain they judge others and have overheard them chatting about me before in an unkind way, e.g criticising me for always leaving early to get a drink of water or for eating yoghurt or any foods that aren’t standard wraps/pasta. it’s all petty and I know for certain when I leave I won’t look back or talk to any of them, ever.

    A really lonely feeling but all groups either spend their weekends drinking on fields, judging others or being mates with each other. I don’t feel like I am on their level AT ALL. I don’t want to stay out all night. I don’t want to be image conscious. I don’t want to swear and be negative about everything.

    Frequently I end up doing the cliche of loner, which is walking slowly to my next lesson and staying in the toilet on my phone. Which is embarrassing in itself! I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of children. I prefer most the staff to most the students and just itching for a change now... but it shouldn’t be like this. I should be enjoying my last ever year but I’m HATING it.

    So I guess what I’m asking is, how do I stop all of it from getting me down? Any ideas of how to improve things for myself short term? Would be insanely grateful for any advice, be it anecdotal, personal or just words of comfort...
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    Like you said, you've only got twelve weeks left with these people. so i would recommend trying to see the good in these people. you've known them all for five years, there must be plenty who have shown you kindness, even in just the small ways. with twelve weeks left, everyone is running on their very last legs both at your school and mine. it WILL fly by, in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of way. Maybe talk to this guy friend of yours, tell him how alone you feel. if your as close as you say, i'm sure he'll be more than happy to take some time away from his friendship group if it means making your life in this difficult and strenuous time any easier. focus on the positive future- soon you'll be at college with entirely new people. if you don't like someone or something- stop pretending and just say **** it. you wont see these people again and they wont impact your life so save yourself the stress and pretending. this time wont be easy- there's no way to make it easy. you just have to keep going, keep trying and keep thinking about the bright future ahead of you. and remember- everyone's been outsiders at one point- you're never as alone as you think. i really hope this helped, even a little bit
 
 
 

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