I had a childhood crush on this guy and we've known each other since I was about 13 years old (I'm now 24, he's 25). He is my cousins best friend and when I was growing up I was super close to my cousin so I saw him all the time. I had a crush on him and he asked me out when I was like 15 but I said no because he used to tease me about liking him and I didn't know he actually liked. ANYWAY skip a few years, when I was like 21 we started dating. He kinda strung me along saying how much he liked me and wanted a relationship and then being unsure about what he wanted, not making loads of effort, seeing me when it suited him and sometimes cancelling dates and not telling me cos he was tired. He worked unsociable hours at a bar and stuff. This ended as I slept with him and then we arranged a date to meet up after and on the day he blocked me (then unblocked me once I'd realised) but I think he did this as a way of cancelling the date. And basically, I didn't see/meet up with him since then. We spoke here and there and he said things like 'i like you more than you know but I'm not good for you' etc.
Anyway, since then I moved to a different city and got a new boyfriend. I moved back to my home city last year (whilst I was still with my boyfriend) and this guy got in touch with me.. it seemed a bit out the blew. and it was small talk at first and he made a few flirty jokes about marrying me one day and then asked if i wanted to do something soon. I explained I now had a boyfriend and he didn't have much to say back to that.
about 7 months has past since then and I have recently broke up with my boyfriend. I got in touch with this guy and asked if he wanted to catch up.. i was curious to see him again and I still like him.
We met up, he paid for my meal and we chatted about what happened between us, he said he was young and dumb, didn't know what he wanted, but he likes me. He sounds like he's matured as all his friends are in relationships now and he doesn't go out as much etc.
He didn't apologise for the way he treated me he just made excuses - e.g. i'm always tired, young and dumb, intense feeling and scared him a little bit..
Anyway since this, I decided I text him and asked if wants to give things another go and see what happens. He said yeah he wants to but to take it slow this time (cos we did rush a bit last time). I said i want to do the same, take it slow and get to know him again. he said he would let me know when he's free this week (last sunday) but he hasn't been in touch since.... do you think he's just super busy?
He's not texted me loads since meeting and I'm unsure whether he's waiting on me to make the next move or if this is him 'taking his time'...
should I be dating other guys whilst dating him? I think it'd be healthy if i do so i don't get obsessed with him so much!
Any advice would be good
Turn on thread page Beta
Is he worth a second chance? watch
- 21-02-2018 19:55
- 21-02-2018 19:59
We are both a bit older now, we was dating 4 years ago so I feel like things could be different this time round if we take things slower
- 21-02-2018 22:41
I'd go for someone else if I were you.
You've dated before, and by the sounds of it, he strung you along and only made time for you when it suited him.
He put his needs before yours.
Even when you've put in the effort to see him again, he's not taken the hint and not responded to you.
Deja Vu all over again.
- 25-02-2018 10:53
Yeah I know what you mean but I really like him! I just want to see how things go this time and not get caught up.. like if he messes up once I'll be gone. I'm also going to date other people so I don't get obsessive and forcing something to happen with him. I don't want it to be casual but I am curious to know if we both put effort in whether we would have a good relationship
- 25-02-2018 10:59
From past experience with this guy, it seems like he isn't a person who is ready to take part in a relationship. For a relationship to work, you need to be emotionally mentally and physically invested and it seems like this guy isn't.
You could give it another shot, it might turn out better this time however do not get your hopes up. Also, if he turns out to not be 'the one' then distance yourself away from him so you have time to get over him. Don't then give him a way in like forms of communication or a way of texting you.
However, he could turn out to have matured, although I highly doubt it.
- 25-02-2018 17:01
Yeah I think you're right. I could just see how it goes this time round and if it's like last time, I can just cut him off. Part of me does believe he has matured, I mean its been 4 years since we last dated and I know my life has changed a lot in that time.. Maybe his has too. I think I've got to try because I'll be curious otherwise but I'm going to be smarter about it this time