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Worried about my mental health watch

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    Hello,
    This is the story of how I went from being an out going guy to bring depressed.
    So last summer I got my A-level grades, I was jubilant, happy to be going to university with Distinction *, B, C, D. I was so excited and when I got to uni it summed up the path for then up to now.
    I arrived on September 15th in Halls looking forward to seeing my new house mates for the year, then it struck me. I didn’t like any of them they were dirty, noisy and never wanted to do anything.

    Of course you’re at university for the course not the living. So I was still optimistic, but then I realised by mid November that the course wasn’t what I wanted. I hated it in fact, I couldn’t be bothered and I sat in my room for days on end as I didn’t want to do anything. So on December 1st 2017 I dropped out of university.
    This should have been the start of something special a new begging, but it wasn’t. I was looking for a part time job to just get the days to go by but I couldn’t find one.

    Then something else happened to me, this girl who I really liked at school from when I was 17 and she was 14 (sort of too much of an age gap) popped up on my recommended on Instagram. She was 15 but I could just see me and her being right and being together but the laws stopping me from speaking to her or being with her made me feel so bad, like I haven’t felt this way about a girl before but as she was 18 and I 15 it couldn’t happen, and it’s wrong probably but I did masturbate thinking of her and now I’ve convinced myself I’ve broken the law and I’m going to prison. So I got support from the NSPCC and others to help me forget about it all.

    So that sort of worked (even though I still think about her most days), but then I got a job I thought this is a new beginning a way to find myself but no. I’m going down mentally taking anxiety and sleeping pills. I have since been to the GP but they make you do that well being service before anything real is done and that hasn’t helped me.

    I’m typing this now because I’m not me anymore, I use to love sports, football in specific, movies and other things but now I barely want to wake up and get on with my day. I haven’t self harmed and I don’t plan too but the other day I felt like pulling my hair out whilst in the bath.
    I’m not suicidal, I’m just lost and scared.
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    (Original post by Anonman7)
    Hello,
    This is the story of how I went from being an out going guy to bring depressed.
    So last summer I got my A-level grades, I was jubilant, happy to be going to university with Distinction *, B, C, D. I was so excited and when I got to uni it summed up the path for then up to now.
    I arrived on September 15th in Halls looking forward to seeing my new house mates for the year, then it struck me. I didn’t like any of them they were dirty, noisy and never wanted to do anything.

    Of course you’re at university for the course not the living. So I was still optimistic, but then I realised by mid November that the course wasn’t what I wanted. I hated it in fact, I couldn’t be bothered and I sat in my room for days on end as I didn’t want to do anything. So on December 1st 2017 I dropped out of university.
    This should have been the start of something special a new begging, but it wasn’t. I was looking for a part time job to just get the days to go by but I couldn’t find one.

    Then something else happened to me, this girl who I really liked at school from when I was 17 and she was 14 (sort of too much of an age gap) popped up on my recommended on Instagram. She was 15 but I could just see me and her being right and being together but the laws stopping me from speaking to her or being with her made me feel so bad, like I haven’t felt this way about a girl before but as she was 18 and I 15 it couldn’t happen, and it’s wrong probably but I did masturbate thinking of her and now I’ve convinced myself I’ve broken the law and I’m going to prison. So I got support from the NSPCC and others to help me forget about it all.

    So that sort of worked (even though I still think about her most days), but then I got a job I thought this is a new beginning a way to find myself but no. I’m going down mentally taking anxiety and sleeping pills. I have since been to the GP but they make you do that well being service before anything real is done and that hasn’t helped me.

    I’m typing this now because I’m not me anymore, I use to love sports, football in specific, movies and other things but now I barely want to wake up and get on with my day. I haven’t self harmed and I don’t plan too but the other day I felt like pulling my hair out whilst in the bath.
    I’m not suicidal, I’m just lost and scared.
    Obviously, I'm in no position to comment on whether you have, or might be developing, a diagnosable illness. You'll need to keep talking with your GP over this. But beyond that, one starting point might be to find someone you trust - and who has robust professional expertise - to review where you are, and help you make a purposeful plan to get your life back on course.

    You may be able to do this via a GP counsellor, but as you say, you will need to go through those generic "well being" services before you get to the kind of individualised help that you might need. Would you consider going to a counsellor or therapist privately? Make sure they are properly qualified - at least registered with the BACP - and look for one that uses the kind of approach you think would be most helpful.
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    Gosh, it sounds like you have been through quite a lot the past 6 months... all those hopes for uni only to find it wasn't what you wanted, feelings for a girl that you can't have, unable to find a job; everything must feel out of reach and impossible at the moment.

    If the way you feel is getting worse you need to go back to your GP and tell them so. It can be hard to motivate yourself and be assertive when you feel like [email protected] but you need to look out for yourself if you think you need more help than you are currently getting.

    Do you have any friends or family that you are close with and can spend time with, go out for drinks / lunch regularly or something? Also, if you are not working or doing anything else and are feeling low it's (in my experience) so important to keep going with something, no matter how hard it is to do - something simple like going out for a walk every day at a set time just for 10 minutes, or going swimming, a visit to the library and an hour out the house reading a good book, grabbing a coffee, anything. If you have someone that can give you a nudge even via text every day, even better.

    If you aren't on any medications perhaps take a look at St Johns Wort or 5HTP supplements which can help some people with depression and you can get them from Holland & Barratt stores or similar (but do tell your dr if they later prescribe anti-depressants because they can't all be taken together, it can be dangerous infact).
 
 
 
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