The Student Room Group

Did he go to far?

So heres the deal, ive been with a guy for 3 years and i stupidly got into an online chat with another guy. A few pictures were sent and stuff but never no more than that. my boyfriend then went through my phone and found out. We spoke about this and he agreed to give us another go, then recently he has been playing mind games with me like making me paranoid and anxious. He then admitted that he had been online talking to hundreds of women showing his you know to them all and even as far as video calling. He said he done this out of spite to me. He continuously looked through my phone even though i had realised what a stupid woman i had been to get so warped by this online chat. He then decided to start digging for more info from what i had done and because he found something minor i didnt tell him he went absolutly crazy and started hitting me and pulling me around by my hair. I dont know what to do i love him so much as we have a baby together too but should i accept his behaviour? Help meee
Original post by Anonymous
So heres the deal, ive been with a guy for 3 years and i stupidly got into an online chat with another guy. A few pictures were sent and stuff but never no more than that. my boyfriend then went through my phone and found out. We spoke about this and he agreed to give us another go, then recently he has been playing mind games with me like making me paranoid and anxious. He then admitted that he had been online talking to hundreds of women showing his you know to them all and even as far as video calling. He said he done this out of spite to me. He continuously looked through my phone even though i had realised what a stupid woman i had been to get so warped by this online chat. He then decided to start digging for more info from what i had done and because he found something minor i didnt tell him he went absolutly crazy and started hitting me and pulling me around by my hair. I dont know what to do i love him so much as we have a baby together too but should i accept his behaviour? Help meee


no! her shouldnt have hit u. no. im not standing for this. Hes in the wrong thats assault. has he apologised?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
So heres the deal, ive been with a guy for 3 years and i stupidly got into an online chat with another guy. A few pictures were sent and stuff but never no more than that. my boyfriend then went through my phone and found out. We spoke about this and he agreed to give us another go, then recently he has been playing mind games with me like making me paranoid and anxious. He then admitted that he had been online talking to hundreds of women showing his you know to them all and even as far as video calling. He said he done this out of spite to me. He continuously looked through my phone even though i had realised what a stupid woman i had been to get so warped by this online chat. He then decided to start digging for more info from what i had done and because he found something minor i didnt tell him he went absolutly crazy and started hitting me and pulling me around by my hair. I dont know what to do i love him so much as we have a baby together too but should i accept his behaviour? Help meee


He'll likely just get worse. Once he's hit you that should be alarm bells. Get out asap.
Original post by Anonymous
So heres the deal, ive been with a guy for 3 years and i stupidly got into an online chat with another guy. A few pictures were sent and stuff but never no more than that. my boyfriend then went through my phone and found out. We spoke about this and he agreed to give us another go, then recently he has been playing mind games with me like making me paranoid and anxious. He then admitted that he had been online talking to hundreds of women showing his you know to them all and even as far as video calling. He said he done this out of spite to me. He continuously looked through my phone even though i had realised what a stupid woman i had been to get so warped by this online chat. He then decided to start digging for more info from what i had done and because he found something minor i didnt tell him he went absolutly crazy and started hitting me and pulling me around by my hair. I dont know what to do i love him so much as we have a baby together too but should i accept his behaviour? Help meee


what? why should he get away with chatting up women but when u talk to other guys u get punished/???
he is on the wrong, one hundred percent.
Reply 4
Where is far? and why would anyone go to there?

Also. I'd seek professional help. Now. Don't wait. Don't be the next statistic.
(edited 6 years ago)
Your relationship is physically and mentally abusive and it's not healthy to live like that. Even though you love this guy and have a child together, you shouldn't let that blind you. I think the best thing for to do is to get out before it turns into something uglier. You shouldn't just accept it. Also, in the future, try and take more steps towards being more faithful. While he shouldn't have acted out the way he did, it makes perfect sense and was his right to get upset.
Sure, you should definitely accept being with an abusive man who has harmed you and could possibly harm your child.

Do you realise how ridiculous that is?
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
So heres the deal, ive been with a guy for 3 years and i stupidly got into an online chat with another guy. A few pictures were sent and stuff but never no more than that. my boyfriend then went through my phone and found out. We spoke about this and he agreed to give us another go, then recently he has been playing mind games with me like making me paranoid and anxious. He then admitted that he had been online talking to hundreds of women showing his you know to them all and even as far as video calling. He said he done this out of spite to me. He continuously looked through my phone even though i had realised what a stupid woman i had been to get so warped by this online chat. He then decided to start digging for more info from what i had done and because he found something minor i didnt tell him he went absolutly crazy and started hitting me and pulling me around by my hair. I dont know what to do i love him so much as we have a baby together too but should i accept his behaviour? Help meee


You shouldn't have done what you did in the first place, I would have ended it all right then. But he gave you another chance so that was up to him. But yes clearly he's gone too far and contradicting himself now by doing what he didn't like doing.
Pics of that nature is cheating, so it's up to you what you do but I don't think it's suitable to be together if you're both not completely able to stay faithful with each other.
And now he's started being abusive, so that's really no reason to stay with him
That's just my opinion on it. Hopefully it can be resolved properly but don't use your child as an excuse to stay together.
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by aspire.1a
no! her shouldnt have hit u. no. im not standing for this. Hes in the wrong thats assault. has he apologised?


Nope no apologie whatsoever hes literally walked out and ive not heard from him since. What do i say to my 2 year old whos asking where he is?
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Nope no apologie whatsoever hes literally walked out and ive not heard from him since. What do i say to my 2 year old whos asking where he is?


I'd advise you don't take him back either. Allow him to collect his things, on your terms, with someone you trust present.

What you tell your 2 year old is down to you as a parent. Do you make the choice now, and tell the child what's happened, or do you find a half truth until they're old enough to understand.
Original post by Anonymous
Nope no apologie whatsoever hes literally walked out and ive not heard from him since. What do i say to my 2 year old whos asking where he is?


Im sorry to hear about this. Honestly he is being horrible right now.
Just say to your child that oh daddy is not here at the moment because he is working or he is meeting a few friends and staying with them.
You shouldn't have cheated but that's never a reason for violence. TBH you've probably got lucky here that he's revealed his true colours now. Abusive behaviour would have come out at some point. I know you have a child but for the good of the child you have to leave him - at some point the child will annoy him too and then what?

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