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How can I come across as a more confident person? watch

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    I grew up with selective mutism which I have overcome in the past 2 years. I have never met anyone who comes across as shy as I have ever been. I'm now in Year 12 and I want to 'get my life together' because I have made so many mistakes in the past academically, socially, mentally and physically.

    I've tried to speak more confidently with people but I keep encountering issues such as...
    - Sweating
    - Poor eye contact
    - Light headedness
    - Stammering
    - Unable to think of what to say
    - A 'weak' voice (very low, quiet and not too masculine)
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    See your GP for something for the sweating, possibly social anxiety?

    Just speak loudly, clearly and assertively with an open body posture
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    If you have social anxiety disorder you can get medications that help a whole lot. Propranolol can work very well for the physical symptoms of anxiety you mentioned and is prn so you only need to take it when you need that boost. Then slowly take less and less of it until you can interact without. Another thing might be a benzo such as diazepam for when you have something really reallly really anxiety-inducing, such as a presentation, however this one is addictive and you're unlikely to get more than 10 pills from your doc..

    I take buspar which is awesome for my anxiety but it's only prescribed for short term use in the UK, but you never know you might get lucky with your doctor.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    If you have social anxiety disorder you can get medications that help a whole lot. Propranolol can work very well for the physical symptoms of anxiety you mentioned and is prn so you only need to take it when you need that boost. Then slowly take less and less of it until you can interact without. Another thing might be a benzo such as diazepam for when you have something really reallly really anxiety-inducing, such as a presentation, however this one is addictive and you're unlikely to get more than 10 pills from your doc..

    I take buspar which is awesome for my anxiety but it's only prescribed for short term use in the UK, but you never know you might get lucky with your doctor.
    I'm too scared to get a diagnosis.. I don't talk to my parents about it either
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    I am not an expert on the mental health aspect, but big changes come in consistent small changes if that makes sense . Set yourself targets, because becoming more confident comes through practice.

    For example, your target this week is... when someone says "how are you" don't give one word answers but give more interesting longer answers
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    (Original post by SuperHuman98)
    I am not an expert on the mental health aspect, but big changes come in consistent small changes if that makes sense . Set yourself targets, because becoming more confident comes through practice.

    For example, your target this week is... when someone says "how are you" don't give one word answers but give more interesting longer answers
    Thanks.. I know it's an example but people rarely start conversations with me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks.. I know it's an example but people rarely start conversations with me
    Are you in high school,college,uni,work?

    I'm also trying to practice my confidence, and I find asking the cashier at the supermarket how their day is going a good conversation starter. When you meet new people try to start the conversation (in the future they will start the convos), and try to get people talking about themselves because people love talking about themselves
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    (Original post by SuperHuman98)
    Are you in high school,college,uni,work?

    I'm also trying to practice my confidence, and I find asking the cashier at the supermarket how their day is going a good conversation starter. When you meet new people try to start the conversation (in the future they will start the convos), and try to get people talking about themselves because people love talking about themselves
    Year 12, sixth form.

    I feel like those working in retail hate when someone tries to talk to them, at least that's what I've heard.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Year 12, sixth form.

    I feel like those working in retail hate when someone tries to talk to them, at least that's what I've heard.
    Nah that is rubbish , think about it if you are working at a till for 8 hours and noone says anything to you then you will probably be bored as hell/fed up. Most people don't mind if you talk them in any situation as long as they aren't in a rush to get somewhere.

    Even try something simple like, tell the bus driver good morning.

    Im year 13, and I can totally understand why in year 12 people might not start conversations. Sometimes people are just too stuck in their friendship groups to put in the effort.

    I say you should put in more effort with the people you sit nearest to in class, because you sit next to them. If its a monday say things like "how was you weekend" or ask them how they feel about the subject etc.
    Also, don't be afraid to talk to your teachers if you see them in the corridor say "how are you" don;t be afraid to joke around in a flattering way. Sometimes before lesson my teacher says "how are you" I reply with "feeling motivated to learn". Or "enjoy your weekend" Ireply with "can't make any gurantees"
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    (Original post by SuperHuman98)
    Nah that is rubbish , think about it if you are working at a till for 8 hours and noone says anything to you then you will probably be bored as hell/fed up. Most people don't mind if you talk them in any situation as long as they aren't in a rush to get somewhere.

    Even try something simple like, tell the bus driver good morning.

    Im year 13, and I can totally understand why in year 12 people might not start conversations. Sometimes people are just too stuck in their friendship groups to put in the effort.

    I say you should put in more effort with the people you sit nearest to in class, because you sit next to them. If its a monday say things like "how was you weekend" or ask them how they feel about the subject etc.
    Also, don't be afraid to talk to your teachers if you see them in the corridor say "how are you" don;t be afraid to joke around in a flattering way. Sometimes before lesson my teacher says "how are you" I reply with "feeling motivated to learn". Or "enjoy your weekend" Ireply with "can't make any gurantees"
    I don't really leave the house apart from for school. I don't have to get a bus either.

    I only do 3 subjects + EPQ and I sit next to people I talk to for each subject so it's not that bad.. I still get nervous around them though and idk why
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really leave the house apart from for school. I don't have to get a bus either.

    I only do 3 subjects + EPQ and I sit next to people I talk to for each subject so it's not that bad.. I still get nervous around them though and idk why
    Remember put too much pressure on yourself, because everyone is shy/has been shy in some way. Becoming confident is something that can be developed/improved
 
 
 
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