The Student Room Group

Am i really gay or just a strong fetish?

Hi i am 23 years old guy and for 5 years already i regularly fantasise about gay sex and men and regullarly watch gay porn... but the only gay porn that turns me on is where a big muscled older guy is penetrating a really young weak boy... cause i can relate to that boy... fantasies are similar and i regullary anally masterbate and when i do.. i only think about men... but thats not it... few days ago i got really horny and had a craving to try out gay sex... so i made a online sex profile and found a guy we meet and the plan was just to give him a blowjob but one thing led to another and i ended up getting penetrated and having the most mindblowing orgsam of my life i mean i was shaking so much i could not control it, i was shocked myself... i completely enjoyed having gay sex but long as i am the bottom and submissive its a huge turn on... so i went home and thought so i like to be penetrated by older big men and give blowjobs and be submissive... but i am not gay... i dont want to be in a relationship with a man i don't have any desire... i don't check out men on the street, only women and a lot..... i desire a woman in my life etc... but then i start to think... i never been with a girl, yes i kissed 1 time a girl and liked it but thats all... whole my life i found penis really attractive while a vagina i think it looks disqusting visually but the whole female body i find attractive... i mean ever since i was a kid watching tv late at night i would come across a porn channel and i would see this girl getting undressed and i would watch until she shows her vagina, i would be like "eeeeww" i didn't undrestand it then but i didn't like seeing vagina as a kid... but when i switched back and saw this guy pulling his pants off and seeing his penis it always felt good to watch penises.. and when this girl started blowjobing him and getting penetrated i started to imagine that i am her.. i wanted to act submissive like her the thought of me being on my knees and begging for his penis was a huge turn on... i didn't understand it then but i orgsamed to those kind of thoughts alot as a kid... but meanwhile i would check out in magazines hot girls and get turned on... it is really confusing.. and i start to think what if i get a girlfriend who i love will i still have gay dreams, and fantasies will i crave to be submissive to a man again... i only have these thoughts when horny.... i am really confused...
You were willing to give him a BJ. That alone tells me u are gay. The fact that you don't like vaginas also probably means ur gay. Or atleast Bi
Why do you need to label yourself? Just because you had sex with a man it doesn’t necessarily mean you are gay but it doesn’t mean you aren’t either.

I’ve had same sex experiences but I’m not a lesbian or even bisexual.

Just be who you are, forget the labels! Because they really don’t matter.
You enjoyed sex with a guy and wouldn’t enjoy sex with a woman since you find the vagina disgusting… you’re gay. You have a penis, you’re attracted to penis and not vagina, it’s easy maths!

Follow your dreams, if they’re men, you’re gay! Sounds like you’re trying to love women but your body isn’t.

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