The Student Room Group

20 year old girl...still a virgin...

i'm a straight 20 y/o female, and i'm still a virgin. i think it's the combination of never meeting the right person and also being kinda shy. i've kissed guys but i have never fully been into it and felt a bit pressured.

i've only ever had a crush on one guy. i liked him for a long time (2 yrs) and we started talking a few weeks ago. he was showing signs of liking me a lot (he held my hand and stuff lol) but a very pretty girl came along and i guess he didn't like me that much. he stopped talking to me entirely. that happened about a week ago and it's got me thinking about the subject of sex and relationships a lot.

i kinda feel like a fool for thinking i could have that kind of connection with someone, especially him. i don't know if i'll ever be normal in that way...and at 20 i'm starting to worry if there's just something wrong with me.
Original post by Anonymous
i'm a straight 20 y/o female, and i'm still a virgin. i think it's the combination of never meeting the right person and also being kinda shy. i've kissed guys but i have never fully been into it and felt a bit pressured.

i've only ever had a crush on one guy. i liked him for a long time (2 yrs) and we started talking a few weeks ago. he was showing signs of liking me a lot (he held my hand and stuff lol) but a very pretty girl came along and i guess he didn't like me that much. he stopped talking to me entirely. that happened about a week ago and it's got me thinking about the subject of sex and relationships a lot.

i kinda feel like a fool for thinking i could have that kind of connection with someone, especially him. i don't know if i'll ever be normal in that way...and at 20 i'm starting to worry if there's just something wrong with me.


You are normal you don't want to jump into bed for the sake of it
Girl I gots you, you got these options; (you are in no way limited to them)

Use tinder

Get out there and link up with others (this would probably work if you were in college or uni)

I'm up for the challenge (just ignore this one)

But honestly I think it's kinda cool it comes across as assertive that you ain't just gonna jump in bed with some random dude. So yeah don't feel bad. It's gotta happen eventually in the meantime carry on being yourself. Remain assertive and don't turn into a hoe, prostitute or pornstar. Sorted.
Reply 3
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin and there is nothing wrong with you for being a virgin. Never feel pressured and don't pressure yourself! It really isn't worth it to get intimate with someone and then regret it.

Eventually, you will find the right guy for you and when you do, you will be glad you waited.


edit: If a guy is shallow enough to dump you for another girl just because "she's prettier", you definitly dodged a bullet there!
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 4
19 and a virgin. Don’t worry girl, there’s nothing wrong with you. Be assured that it will happen if and when you want it to and for now just keep being yourself, it’s all u can do 👍🏼
Reply 5
You are normal. It's not like being a virgin makes you abnormal or something haha. Don't worry about it and don't rush into sex for the sex of saying 'I'm not a virgin anymore'. You will meet right person eventually, don't worry :smile:
There's nothing wrong with you and don't feel pressured.

Try online dating (POF, OKCupid, Tinder), speed dating, joining clubs out of interest, meeting men through hobbies, through work, through your network and going out.

Good luck
20 year old guy and still a virgin. I am at uni, where I thought I would possibly meet someone but it hasn't happened. I also wonder whether I'll ever meet anyone for me. But don't let it bother you, you'll find someone, keep the faith :smile:
Reply 8
Good. You should never worry about him. If he does not like you ultimately you should not like him.
you should be proud of not surrendering your maidenhead to some spotty oik you met in a nightclub. there are plenty of real men out there for you meet.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
i'm a straight 20 y/o female, and i'm still a virgin. i think it's the combination of never meeting the right person and also being kinda shy. i've kissed guys but i have never fully been into it and felt a bit pressured.

i've only ever had a crush on one guy. i liked him for a long time (2 yrs) and we started talking a few weeks ago. he was showing signs of liking me a lot (he held my hand and stuff lol) but a very pretty girl came along and i guess he didn't like me that much. he stopped talking to me entirely. that happened about a week ago and it's got me thinking about the subject of sex and relationships a lot.

i kinda feel like a fool for thinking i could have that kind of connection with someone, especially him. i don't know if i'll ever be normal in that way...and at 20 i'm starting to worry if there's just something wrong with me.


Im 19, nearly 20 virgin male, nothing wrong with it.
I'm a 20 year old male virgin, I too often wonder if there's something wrong with me. I am shy and don't think I've met the right person, but like people said, it's nothing to be ashamed of and we're still young.
Sex is fun but it shouldn't be anyone's raison d'etre.

Don't sweat it if you want to hold onto your virginity until marriage of for the right person that's your choice. Girls like you are becoming increasingly rare and your value is higher than the girls that have slept with 100 guys by the time they're 25 and are irreparably psychologically damaged.
There's no shame in being a virgin, as opposed to what a bunch of people might think.

Don't worry about being a virgin and trust me when I say that you should not rush to lose it.
You will, in time, find the right person to be in a relationship with. Until then, you should just focus on bettering yourself for yourself and to achieve your goals.
Hey everyone, thank you for the replies!!! since i posted this i've been feeling a little bit better about my situation... the whole reason i posted it was because i was feeling insecure about being dropped for a prettier girl :rolleyes: but thank you again to everyone that posted!

one more question though (mainly for the guys of TSR) but is it less appealing when a girl is inexperienced? and when i say inexperienced i mean 'never done anything apart from kissing' lmao. i know it'll differ from person to person but i'm curious! :smile:
nearly lmao
Original post by AspiringAccount
Girl I gots you, you got these options; (you are in no way limited to them)

Use tinder

Get out there and link up with others (this would probably work if you were in college or uni)

I'm up for the challenge (just ignore this one)

But honestly I think it's kinda cool it comes across as assertive that you ain't just gonna jump in bed with some random dude. So yeah don't feel bad. It's gotta happen eventually in the meantime carry on being yourself. Remain assertive and don't turn into a hoe, prostitute or pornstar. Sorted.


haha thank you :laugh: i'm actually going to be starting uni in september, super excited for it. kinda scared i won't make friends though, but i guess that's a ~somewhat~ normal thought

Original post by ChillonthePorn
There's no shame in being a virgin, as opposed to what a bunch of people might think.

Don't worry about being a virgin and trust me when I say that you should not rush to lose it.
You will, in time, find the right person to be in a relationship with. Until then, you should just focus on bettering yourself for yourself and to achieve your goals.


some solid advice my dude. thank you very much :smile:
I’m a girl 20 year old virgin and I am in the same position, liked a guy for years though they would be the one I would loose it too and then it just never worked, I too have the thought that there’s something wrong with me, but I just think that people arnt used to it, maybe they are scared because there’s some sort of responsibility to it , I’m not sure

Latest