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    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    One can control sexual urges to a certain extent. Its not hard to control one mindset and divert the attention away to something else.

    Though leaving religion is an easier way out but pay the re-compensation later.
    I would argue that leaving your religion, which for many people is/has been a huge part of their identity, is a more difficult and drawn out process than simply steering your thoughts away from sex. And this difficulty is often magnified in Muslim communities, where apostatising is particularly frowned upon and in many cases even dangerous. You yourself said that it’s not hard to control your sexual urges!

    Besides, what has ease got to do with anything? It being easy to leave a religion does not necessarily mean the apostate was ignorant or made their decision lightly. Sounds to me like you’re trying to delegitimise them.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    I would argue that leaving your religion, which for many people is/has been a huge part of their identity, is a more difficult and drawn out process than simply steering your thoughts away from sex. And this difficulty is often magnified in Muslim communities, where apostatising is particularly frowned upon and in many cases even dangerous. You yourself said that it’s not hard to control your sexual urges!

    Besides, what has ease got to do with anything? It being easy to leave a religion does not necessarily mean the apostate was ignorant or made their decision lightly. Sounds to me like you’re trying to delegitimise them.
    See, it would not be frowned upon, should the individual not speak out about it. If they want to be an apostate thats 'fine' but why seek approval from a Muslim community when they are aware of the consequences? Its not hard to control sexual urges. Theres other things that one can concentrate on.

    I didn't state that because such an individual left their religion they took it lightly. The point to note here is, there are leeway's that an individual is not entitled to conform to. They are not forced to stay in a religion just because they want to commit sin or they do not feel fit in the religion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    fake laughs arent a great feeling
    Laugh wasn't fake at all mate.

    You only have one sure life, it's up to you to decide if you want to live to be happy, knowing that you could die tomorrow. Or live a supressed life for some God who may or may not exist, an 'after life' which may or may not exist, and an organised form of brainwashing. I don't believe either exist and don't agree with cults either, so I live my life for the life I have now. You do whatever the hell you want, not my problem if you're happy or not and it's not the problem of your fellow Muslims or anybody else either. Nobody but you is living your life.
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    (Original post by Volibear)
    AHAHAHAHAHA :lol:
    Immaturity levels 10000%.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    Ah. The immatuarity is definatley portraying.

    "Sometimes its okay to take a step back and admit your'e being ridicilous.

    Have a great day
    do you even enjoy sex in your marriage? its not haram for a muslim woman to enjoy sex
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    do you even enjoy sex in your marriage? its not haram for a muslim woman to enjoy sex
    I didnt state it was.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    I didnt state it was.
    women have sexual needs too and it just felt like you were speaking about sex in general as a negative which it isnt

    just because you havent experienced these sexual needs doesnt mean other women and men dont

    marriage isnt the solution to control your desires. a marriage is about trust and love not exactly sex
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    women have sexual needs too and it just felt like you were speaking about sex in general as a negative which it isnt

    just because you havent experienced these sexual needs doesnt mean other women and men dont

    marriage isnt the solution to control your desires. a marriage is about trust and love not exactly sex
    You have definatley got the wrong end of the stick, and im sorry about that.

    Its human to have sexual urges but when religion plays a factor it becomes a different story.

    I didnt state that marriage is only there for sex. Yes theres more to marriage then fulfulling ones desires thats just one scope of it.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    You have definatley got the wrong end of the stick, and im sorry about that.

    Its human to have sexual urges but when religion plays a factor it becomes a different story.

    I didnt state that marriage is only there for sex. Yes theres more to marriage then fulfulling ones desires thats just one scope of it.
    yeah its natural its like wanting to eat specific food or drink and many experience this

    many muslims think marriage is about sex and rush into marriage which is sad. marriage isnt about sex its about love for eachother and being with somebody you cant live without so it shouldnt be a solution because thats silly.
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    This is fine and normal.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah its natural its like wanting to eat specific food or drink and many experience this

    many muslims think marriage is about sex and rush into marriage which is sad. marriage isnt about sex its about love for eachother and being with somebody you cant live without so it shouldnt be a solution because thats silly.
    Yes.

    Its the fantasy that they have been perecived with at times. Mostly from bollywood dramas and what have you. Therefore they get this perception that they are entering marriage for the sake of fullfulling their desires and thats it.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Divorce rates are ever increasing by the ways.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    Yes.

    Its the fantasy that they have been perecived with at times. Mostly from bollywood dramas and what have you. Therefore they get this perception that they are entering marriage for the sake of fullfulling their desires and thats it.

    Spoiler:
    Show



    Divorce rates are ever increasing by the ways.


    thats my point so you should marry somebody you love trust and see a future with and you know properly. thats why im against arranged marriages because they dont really have the same foundation as two people are have known eachother and love one another
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thats my point so you should marry somebody you love trust and see a future with and you know properly. thats why im against arranged marriages because they dont really have the same foundation as two people are have known eachother and love one another
    She's probably going to use the argument that arranged marriages typically have a lower divorce rate. But won't address that these kind of marriages usually happen in cultures where separation would not be accepted well at all, and would probably result in very negative consequences for at least one member of the party, probably the woman.
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    Salam sister,

    Firstly, it is completely natural to feel this way and the fact that you're desires are not fulfilled is not your fault, not Islam's fault but actually the fault of your parents and society.

    The Messenger of Allah encouraged young people to marry early so that they may find love with their spouse and so they didn't fall into zina or be in your position

    Narrated `Abdullah: We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Bukhari)

    Islam encourages sex within marriage but not outside of marriage. For example, when Jabir Ibn abdullah got married for the first time (at 17), he married an older woman. The messenger of Allah joked with him and asked why he didn't marry a virgin so that "she could play with you and you could play with her and she could make you laugh and you could make her laugh"

    So the point is, don't feel ashamed of your thoughts and desires, it's Halaal and should be fulfilled if in marriage but of course outside of marriage is haraam and from my personal experience with what I've seen of people, I completely why relationships are haraam.

    How many relationships have you seen that end in catastrophe and misery? Wallahi I'm currently in sixth form and every relationship I've witnessed has resulted in a break up causing complete heartache and misery. I'm not saying this cannot occur in marriage but it is far less likely and less common and I'll explain why.

    In this hypersexual society, people engage in relationships for sex primarily. They may look at the character of the other person but they don't plan to remain with that person for long. There is no loyalty in a relationship, it's simply playing a round for a few months and then a break up. The reason there's no loyalty is because there really are no consequences in break up and with all respect to my non Muslim brothers and sisters, many relationships are and make people animals because animals engage with others for nothing but sex

    However in marriage, the consequence is divorce. This means that when a person looks for a husband or wife, they spend a lot more time learning about the character of person and they will not marry unless they find the person a complete match for themselves unlike in relationships where many form from meeting once in a party and getting drunk.

    Before any non Muslim tells me that relationships are good and do encourage loyalty let me ask you a question. "Do you see yourself marrying and spending the rest of your life with the person you're in a relationship with?" If not then that's not loyalty and you're probably engaged in the relationship for sex like an animal (once again with all due respect)

    I know this long sister but please. Firstly, don't feel guilty and secondly, become closer to the deen. Listen to beautiful Islamic lectures and beautiful Quran recitations. My personal favourites are mishary, fahad aziz niazi and imam muda mujahid Ibn suhaimi
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    (Original post by Volibear)
    Are you going skip the main point of my reply then?

    Of course you're not. Well you could always show us all how to be mature by not replying to me and blocking me so you can't see my posts. But if you wish to continue feeding into my 'immaturity', so be it. Seems like we both have a lot left to learn then, which is rather amsusing/tragic considering that one of us has children, and the other doesn't.
    One of her twin children recently died, just letting you know. Not that that should affect how you respond to her posts of course.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Volibear)
    She's probably going to use the argument that arranged marriages typically have a lower divorce rate. But won't address that these kind of marriages usually happen in cultures where separation would not be accepted well at all, and would probably result in very negative consequences for at least one member of the party, probably the woman.
    they have a lower divorce rate because most of them are loveless marriages lol its very common in SA/ME cultures and divorcing is frowned upon especially for the woman because they dont have the same rights at all

    yup you're right! i am indian myself
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    One of her twin children recently died, just letting you know. Not that that should affect how you respond to her posts of course.
    I'm not asking for any sympathy just letting you know. I don't care how someone replies to me. It portrays their character more than anything else.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    I'm not asking for any sympathy just letting you know. I don't care how someone replies to me. It portrays their character more than anything else.
    so you do expect them to be nice during this hard time for you? it kind of is sympathy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so you do expect them to be nice during this hard time for you? it kind of is sympathy
    I don't think she's saying that.
    • #17
    #17

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    . marriage isnt about sex its about love for eachother and being with somebody you cant live without so it shouldnt be a solution because thats silly.
    Nah gotta disagree

    A person should only place god on that level. A spouse is of course someone important and valuable to you, but you shouldnt be like you cant live without them
 
 
 
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