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Girlfriend wants to move here with me..what should I say? watch

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    I met my girlfriend through an international matchmaking site. We’ve been dating for over 6 months now and things between us are going really well. Lately, she has been talking about moving here. Even though I like the idea of us being able to date where there won’t be any distance between us, I’m just not sure if it’ll be a good call.

    It’s not really easy to find a job in L.A. and living expenses can be at times unreasonable. Living together would be good but just not yet. We are still at a stage where things have yet to become serious. There are still a lot of things we can know about each other and we’ve only met face to face once. I trust her and she’s a good person. I do have feelings for her that I can already say that I love her. But I just think that living together is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

    Most of my friends are telling me that it shouldn’t be a problem since I’m already deeply attached to her and that because I am financially stable that I should consider it. I am considering it and being with her will definitely be amazing. But I’m just not ready yet to live with someone and I’m worried that when she gets here, she’ll get burnt out and would want to leave.

    How do I talk to her about it? To be honest, I’m not even sure what I want to say except for the fact that I’m not ready yet. Any advice?
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    Have you met yet?

    If you're not ready, tell her that.
    • #1
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    (Original post by jackson1978)
    I met my girlfriend through an international matchmaking site. We’ve been dating for over 6 months now and things between us are going really well. Lately, she has been talking about moving here. Even though I like the idea of us being able to date where there won’t be any distance between us, I’m just not sure if it’ll be a good call.

    It’s not really easy to find a job in L.A. and living expenses can be at times unreasonable. Living together would be good but just not yet. We are still at a stage where things have yet to become serious. There are still a lot of things we can know about each other and we’ve only met face to face once. I trust her and she’s a good person. I do have feelings for her that I can already say that I love her. But I just think that living together is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

    Most of my friends are telling me that it shouldn’t be a problem since I’m already deeply attached to her and that because I am financially stable that I should consider it. I am considering it and being with her will definitely be amazing. But I’m just not ready yet to live with someone and I’m worried that when she gets here, she’ll get burnt out and would want to leave.

    How do I talk to her about it? To be honest, I’m not even sure what I want to say except for the fact that I’m not ready yet. Any advice?
    Tell her to come and visit a few times first, don't give her a straight no or anything, make her feel wanted but tell her to be sure that she's ready for it. Tell her that to make sure it's right by coming over to stay a week at a time every other month. That way you'll have a few months to get to know eachother better in person and she'll get used to the new area and see herself if she really wants to move yet.
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    "It’s not really easy to find a job in L.A"

    Not easy to find a job in LA???!!!!
    Are you referring to Los Angeles, California?
    Or Las Anod, Somalia?
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    Just be honest with her. Living together and financially supporting someone are both huge decisions and a big strain on a new relationship - it's not unreasonable to say you're not ready for that.
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    Moving in together when you've only met face to face once is absolute madness.
    • #2
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    honesty is the best policy, always
 
 
 
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