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Why am I so shy?
I can't go clubbing because I'm too shy to dance.
I can't sing, because I'm too shy.
I specifically went to the music room to sing. I couldn't even do it. I tried but I just couldn't get over it. I left shortly after because I was clearly wasting my time.
I just feel I am going to make a fool of myself.
But if I am alone it shouldn't matter should it?
In the carpark I could sorta hear people, I think that is why and I was scared they'd here me.
My voice isn't bad. I mean I can sing in tune. I just can't seem to sing loudly or at a reasonable volume.
I have no confidence whatsoever.
I recently started singing lessons which is why I went to practise but I couldn't even do that.
I thought coming to uni would make me more confident. Fearless in fact. Im twice as shy (if not more) now that I'm at uni.
I can't go on this way but I can't get over it.
I can't sing, because I'm too shy.
I specifically went to the music room to sing. I couldn't even do it. I tried but I just couldn't get over it. I left shortly after because I was clearly wasting my time.
I just feel I am going to make a fool of myself.
But if I am alone it shouldn't matter should it?
In the carpark I could sorta hear people, I think that is why and I was scared they'd here me.
My voice isn't bad. I mean I can sing in tune. I just can't seem to sing loudly or at a reasonable volume.
I have no confidence whatsoever.
I recently started singing lessons which is why I went to practise but I couldn't even do that.
I thought coming to uni would make me more confident. Fearless in fact. Im twice as shy (if not more) now that I'm at uni.
I can't go on this way but I can't get over it.
Scroll to see replies
What sort of songs do you like to sing?
And it's always been the way that if I'm too shy to do something, I just don't do it. I can't even make myself do it. So for years, around 7 in fact, nobody has seen me dance. No-one has heard me sing.
It's ridiculous really.
But I just can't do it.
I'm not a person to cry (unless someone has died or my arm gets chopped off or something) but I'd probably end up in tears than do any of these things. All these years I have managed to avoid it. Even when highly pressurised, I feel like dying, wanting the ground to swallow me up, but even when people say bad things to me, I still don't give in.
My mum or my friends have no succeeded all this time. That means I am never going to get over it am I. I think it would take a really special person to make me get over all this, someone I really trust and that I know isn't going to judge me, that heightens my self-esteem.
I might not ever meet anyone like that though.
I might be like this forever.
I just want to be normal.
But I'm not normal. No matter how hard I try.
It's ridiculous really.
But I just can't do it.
I'm not a person to cry (unless someone has died or my arm gets chopped off or something) but I'd probably end up in tears than do any of these things. All these years I have managed to avoid it. Even when highly pressurised, I feel like dying, wanting the ground to swallow me up, but even when people say bad things to me, I still don't give in.
My mum or my friends have no succeeded all this time. That means I am never going to get over it am I. I think it would take a really special person to make me get over all this, someone I really trust and that I know isn't going to judge me, that heightens my self-esteem.
I might not ever meet anyone like that though.
I might be like this forever.
I just want to be normal.
But I'm not normal. No matter how hard I try.
Im shy all the time,except when i am under the influence of alcohol 
or with close friends
or with close friends
cutandpasteandtwisty
Drink.
Dont be so apathetic!
It sounds like to me you have two things going on. You say you cant do something "because your too shy". Its like your using it as an excuse to avoid it. Secondly it seems your problem stems from the fact you think people are looking at you, watching you and judging you. The reality is that they probably arent. You are just making assumptions on pessimistic and distorted thinking. I think you should read some books on Cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety. When you change how you think, you will change how you feel and behave.
I hope that helps you. All the best.
I know exactly what you mean, I'm incredibly shy too.
I think a lot of it is just being less self-aware. Don't think about what you look like/sound like to anyone, they're probably not thinking about it anyway!
Life is too short to care about what everybody else is thinking!
Maybe a good way to look at it is to think about what the worst thing that can happen is. If you think about it properly, you'll probably see that the 'worst' actually is so small in the grand scale of things.
I kind of think life is a joke... and while I take lots of things seriously, occasionally I come back to this conclusion and it makes all my worries seem so pedantic.
One more thing! I had a terrible confidence 'breakdown' last year and my boyfriend helped me on a kind of 'self-awareness detox.' So in the morning I'd have to get up and pick out my clothes with my eyes closed and whatever I pulled out I had to wear. So on the first day I went to school in my 'staying home sick' jumper and the jeans that give me a penis...
It really helped..! Maybe give this a shot. hahaha...
I think a lot of it is just being less self-aware. Don't think about what you look like/sound like to anyone, they're probably not thinking about it anyway!
Life is too short to care about what everybody else is thinking!
Maybe a good way to look at it is to think about what the worst thing that can happen is. If you think about it properly, you'll probably see that the 'worst' actually is so small in the grand scale of things.
I kind of think life is a joke... and while I take lots of things seriously, occasionally I come back to this conclusion and it makes all my worries seem so pedantic.
One more thing! I had a terrible confidence 'breakdown' last year and my boyfriend helped me on a kind of 'self-awareness detox.' So in the morning I'd have to get up and pick out my clothes with my eyes closed and whatever I pulled out I had to wear. So on the first day I went to school in my 'staying home sick' jumper and the jeans that give me a penis...
It really helped..! Maybe give this a shot. hahaha...
cutandpasteandtwisty
Drink.
I'm sorry but I don't drink. Personal choice. Don't think it's necessary, there are nicer things to drink (that don't cause any harm to your body) and don't mess with your thoughts and coordination.
im really shy, but i think its cos im ugly
People make fools of themselves but it's not the end of the world, just pick yourself up and try again. You have to learn to not worry what other people think or else you'll keep holding yourself back. Learn to let go, smile and laugh if you make a mistake, it's not that bad and confidence will grow with time. But it won't if you keep hiding away and not showing people what you're like.
Heya,
You should try a few different things:
Firstly you should try and build up confidence rather than trying to be really confident all at once!
A good thing to try (my friend had similar issues) is talking to random people on buses, trains, people on the street, teachers, peers, and people in shops. It all helps.
Once you are comfortable speaking to random people then you might feel comfortable humming maybe and with time singing. As i said build up the confidence slowly. It will take time but it will come and then i am sure it'l be worth it!
rasmusrok1
You should try a few different things:
Firstly you should try and build up confidence rather than trying to be really confident all at once!
A good thing to try (my friend had similar issues) is talking to random people on buses, trains, people on the street, teachers, peers, and people in shops. It all helps.
Once you are comfortable speaking to random people then you might feel comfortable humming maybe and with time singing. As i said build up the confidence slowly. It will take time but it will come and then i am sure it'l be worth it!
rasmusrok1
Alcohol is actually a very useful drug. Going out and getting drunk has not only helped forge many friendships of mine, but it has done my confidence a world of good.
rasmusrok1
Heya,
You should try a few different things:
Firstly you should try and build up confidence rather than trying to be really confident all at once!
A good thing to try (my friend had similar issues) is talking to random people on buses, trains, people on the street, teachers, peers, and people in shops. It all helps.
Once you are comfortable speaking to random people then you might feel comfortable humming maybe and with time singing. As i said build up the confidence slowly. It will take time but it will come and then i am sure it'l be worth it!
rasmusrok1
You should try a few different things:
Firstly you should try and build up confidence rather than trying to be really confident all at once!
A good thing to try (my friend had similar issues) is talking to random people on buses, trains, people on the street, teachers, peers, and people in shops. It all helps.
Once you are comfortable speaking to random people then you might feel comfortable humming maybe and with time singing. As i said build up the confidence slowly. It will take time but it will come and then i am sure it'l be worth it!
rasmusrok1
See... I could do all those things. I could easily talk to random people. It wouldn't be a problem.
I know what the problem is, I'm scared of not being perfect. Because I know my voice is okay, but not amazing or even great, I can't do it in front of others because I think they aren't going to like it.
cutandpasteandtwisty
Alcohol is actually a very useful drug. Going out and getting drunk has not only helped forge many friendships of mine, but it has done my confidence a world of good.
Yeah, it really solves a lot. So I'd have to be drunk all the time...
I know exactly how you feel.
when i was in first school i had to sing solos in every school play/talent show. as soon as i got to middle school I felt like everyone was waiting for me to give them one more reason not to like me.
I can sing on my own, and I've let my boyfriend hear me once on a recorded thing I did. other than that I can only let realtive strangers hear me sing or I think i'm going to throw up.
I was in a band a couple of years ago. I didn't know them when we got together as a band so I could sing fine in front of them. we were doing a gig at a house party about a year ago and I was fine and very into it, then I saw someone I thought I knew in the crowd and feinted.
so I guess I can't give too good advice, but it's not abnormal by any means. when you really put emotion into singing it's easy to feel vulnerable.
i suppose my best advice is just to do small things like singing when you know nobody is around, or singing in front of strangers. maybe join a choir because nobody will be listening to you as an individual.
when i was in first school i had to sing solos in every school play/talent show. as soon as i got to middle school I felt like everyone was waiting for me to give them one more reason not to like me.
I can sing on my own, and I've let my boyfriend hear me once on a recorded thing I did. other than that I can only let realtive strangers hear me sing or I think i'm going to throw up.
I was in a band a couple of years ago. I didn't know them when we got together as a band so I could sing fine in front of them. we were doing a gig at a house party about a year ago and I was fine and very into it, then I saw someone I thought I knew in the crowd and feinted.
so I guess I can't give too good advice, but it's not abnormal by any means. when you really put emotion into singing it's easy to feel vulnerable.
i suppose my best advice is just to do small things like singing when you know nobody is around, or singing in front of strangers. maybe join a choir because nobody will be listening to you as an individual.
I've been in a choir throughout my whole life until now. I can sing with a group fine, but I know that with practise I could be really good. I can't find te confidence to just go for it, sing my heart out. I try and it still comes out like a whisper. Any one seen Sister Act? I'm like the young quiet nun lol.
(How did she get over it in fact? Encouragement I guess).
The singing thing, with time I might be able to get over but the dancing thing, I see that lasting at least another 4 years, or at least until I finish my degree.
I've been invited to a house party on Saturday. I said I would go. I can't now. I have these brief moments of confidence where I think I can do anything but then I always back out.
Always.
I'm such an idiot.
I dunno but I think being an only child has something to do with it. I played with other kids but I never performed anything. With other siblings you feel comfortable doing things around em, like singing, you don't even think about it. I've never had the opportunity.
And I get little encouragement from my mum who was also ridiculously shy as a kid (I will make sure my kids don't end up like this. It's horrible.) She has never encouraged me to do anything, never boosted my self esteem. If I ever play anything at home (I play keyboard and another instrument). She'll listen and then when Im finished she'll say absolutely nothing. I'll have to say 'so... what did you think' and she'll still be reluctant to say anything the will finally say it was 'alright' or 'good'. My friends and teachers have said I'm great, but my parents are awful. I think it's because they know nothing about music but do you have to know about music to know if something sounds good? The excuse my mum would say is 'I don't know the song'. Does it matter?!
(How did she get over it in fact? Encouragement I guess).
The singing thing, with time I might be able to get over but the dancing thing, I see that lasting at least another 4 years, or at least until I finish my degree.
I've been invited to a house party on Saturday. I said I would go. I can't now. I have these brief moments of confidence where I think I can do anything but then I always back out.
Always.
I'm such an idiot.
I dunno but I think being an only child has something to do with it. I played with other kids but I never performed anything. With other siblings you feel comfortable doing things around em, like singing, you don't even think about it. I've never had the opportunity.
And I get little encouragement from my mum who was also ridiculously shy as a kid (I will make sure my kids don't end up like this. It's horrible.) She has never encouraged me to do anything, never boosted my self esteem. If I ever play anything at home (I play keyboard and another instrument). She'll listen and then when Im finished she'll say absolutely nothing. I'll have to say 'so... what did you think' and she'll still be reluctant to say anything the will finally say it was 'alright' or 'good'. My friends and teachers have said I'm great, but my parents are awful. I think it's because they know nothing about music but do you have to know about music to know if something sounds good? The excuse my mum would say is 'I don't know the song'. Does it matter?!
Anonymous
I've been in a choir throughout my whole life until now. I can sing with a group fine, but I know that with practise I could be really good. I can't find te confidence to just go for it, sing my heart out. I try and it still comes out like a whisper. Any one seen Sister Act? I'm like the young quiet nun lol.
(How did she get over it in fact? Encouragement I guess).
The singing thing, with time I might be able to get over but the dancing thing, I see that lasting at least another 4 years, or at least until I finish my degree.
I've been invited to a house party on Saturday. I said I would go. I can't now. I have these brief moments of confidence where I think I can do anything but then I always back out.
Always.
I'm such an idiot.
I dunno but I think being an only child has something to do with it. I played with other kids but I never performed anything. With other siblings you feel comfortable doing things around em, like singing, you don't even think about it. I've never had the opportunity.
And I get little encouragement from my mum who was also ridiculously shy as a kid (I will make sure my kids don't end up like this. It's horrible.) She has never encouraged me to do anything, never boosted my self esteem. If I ever play anything at home (I play keyboard and another instrument). She'll listen and then when Im finished she'll say absolutely nothing. I'll have to say 'so... what did you think' and she'll still be reluctant to say anything the will finally say it was 'alright' or 'good'. My friends and teachers have said I'm great, but my parents are awful. I think it's because they know nothing about music but do you have to know about music to know if something sounds good? The excuse my mum would say is 'I don't know the song'. Does it matter?!
(How did she get over it in fact? Encouragement I guess).
The singing thing, with time I might be able to get over but the dancing thing, I see that lasting at least another 4 years, or at least until I finish my degree.
I've been invited to a house party on Saturday. I said I would go. I can't now. I have these brief moments of confidence where I think I can do anything but then I always back out.
Always.
I'm such an idiot.
I dunno but I think being an only child has something to do with it. I played with other kids but I never performed anything. With other siblings you feel comfortable doing things around em, like singing, you don't even think about it. I've never had the opportunity.
And I get little encouragement from my mum who was also ridiculously shy as a kid (I will make sure my kids don't end up like this. It's horrible.) She has never encouraged me to do anything, never boosted my self esteem. If I ever play anything at home (I play keyboard and another instrument). She'll listen and then when Im finished she'll say absolutely nothing. I'll have to say 'so... what did you think' and she'll still be reluctant to say anything the will finally say it was 'alright' or 'good'. My friends and teachers have said I'm great, but my parents are awful. I think it's because they know nothing about music but do you have to know about music to know if something sounds good? The excuse my mum would say is 'I don't know the song'. Does it matter?!
just go to the house party, you don't have to dance if you don't want to. i never dance at any kind of party, i just hang out and talk to people.
i think not knowing the song does matter. how can you tell if someone is singing/playing it right if you don't know the song?
Maybe she's just not good at encouragement, some people find it hard to know what to say to their kids. in my experience if anyone is going to lie and tell you you're great it will be your family.
if your friends and teachers have said you're great then you probably are.
I have 10 brothers and sisters but I can't sing in front of people I know now. not even happy birthday on peoples birthdays.
I always used to be fine but i just hit a point where all my confidence dissapeared.
It's all a matter of building up your confidence but everyone needs to do that in their own way.
if you have a mic that makes you sound half desent then could you record you singing and put it on youtube or something (to a blank video) and then ask someone's opinion on it, not letting them know it's you? do a cover of a song you know a certain person will like, record it and then say 'i found a cover of that song you like, what do you think?' or something.
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