English language paper 1 question 2 Watch

Defence11
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Pls mark my English language Question 2 paper 1 answer. This is worth 8 marks so it would be much appreciated if u could give me a score as well as improvement comments. Also I am aware that I used “the narrator”too much as at the start of the question it gives me his name so that was my mistake.

How does the writer use language here to describe the narrator’s fright and confusion?
*
You could include the writer’s choice of:
• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms

Firstly the writer uses the repeated rhetorical questions to show that the narrator is confused as he is unsure of himself. He asks himself “What was it?” which shows that he is unsure of what he is looking at showing he is baffled at the sight. He also may be frightened as he isn’t fully sure what he is looking at, therefore it could be harmful. The reader may feel sympathy for the narrator as he could be looking at something dangerous

Secondly the writer uses the semantic field of violence when he describes the animals as “dangerous” and “ wild”. This suggests that the animals could harm the narrator as “dangerous” connotes death. Also the narrator may feel confused as he doesn’t know why the animals may be “dangerous” and “wild”. The reader may feel frightened for the narrator as he may be in a deadly situation

The writer uses the onomatopoeia “shrieking” to describe what the narrator heard monkeys doing. This suggests that the narrator may be very confused as he is unsure of why they are shrieking. He also may be scared at the fact that they are crying out. The verb “shrieking” connotes crying which could further scare the narrator as something terrible may have occurred with the monkeys. Alternatively, this could show that the monkeys have been hurt which could indicate that the narrator may be harmed too making him scared even more.
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Dominika73
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This seems like a solid answer to me, could you possible get a teacher to mark it?
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Defence11
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(Original post by Dominika73)
This seems like a solid answer to me, could you possible get a teacher to mark it?
Nope. Could u mark it pls
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Cammywhammy
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Its very good but a bit clunky in the way you have expressed yourself would give it 7/8
(Original post by Defence11)
Nope. Could u mark it pls
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Davy611
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I think you could expect to get level 3 (5-6 marks out of 8) for your initial answer. I've modelled how I'd expect it to become an 8:

Firstly, the writer uses repeated rhetorical questions to show that the narrator is confused and unsure of himself. He asks himself, “What was it?” These short monosyllabic words imply panic and suggest that he is unsure because of what he is seeing. He is baffled at the sight. He also may be frightened as he isn’t certain about his surroundings; therefore, they could be harmful. The reader may feel sympathy for the narrator as he could be looking at something dangerous and threatening. He's very much out of his comfort zone.

Secondly, the writer uses the semantic field of violence when he describes the animals as “dangerous” and “ wild”. This suggests that the animals could harm the narrative voice; “dangerous” connotes death and aggression. Also, the narrator may feel confused as he doesn’t know why the animals may be “dangerous” and “wild”. The reader may feel frightened for the narrator as he appears unsafe; he has lost control of his situation.

The writer uses an onomatopoeic verb, “shrieking”, to describe what the narrator heard the monkeys doing. This suggests that the noise is unsettling the narrative voice. He also may be scared because they are crying out - any calm has been shattered; the environment is edgy. The verb “shrieking” connotes pain and terror which could further unnerve the narrator as something terrible may have occurred with the monkeys. Alternatively, this could show that the monkeys have been hurt which could indicate that the narrator may be harmed too: understandably, increasing his fear and tension.
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Defence11
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Thanks.
(Original post by Davy611)
I think you could expect to get level 3 (5-6 marks out of 8) for your initial answer. I've modelled how I'd expect it to become an 8:

Firstly, the writer uses repeated rhetorical questions to show that the narrator is confused and unsure of himself. He asks himself, “What was it?” These short monosyllabic words imply panic and suggest that he is unsure because of what he is seeing. He is baffled at the sight. He also may be frightened as he isn’t certain about his surroundings; therefore, they could be harmful. The reader may feel sympathy for the narrator as he could be looking at something dangerous and threatening. He's very much out of his comfort zone.

Secondly, the writer uses the semantic field of violence when he describes the animals as “dangerous” and “ wild”. This suggests that the animals could harm the narrative voice; “dangerous” connotes death and aggression. Also, the narrator may feel confused as he doesn’t know why the animals may be “dangerous” and “wild”. The reader may feel frightened for the narrator as he appears unsafe; he has lost control of his situation.

The writer uses an onomatopoeic verb, “shrieking”, to describe what the narrator heard the monkeys doing. This suggests that the noise is unsettling the narrative voice. He also may be scared because they are crying out - any calm has been shattered; the environment is edgy. The verb “shrieking” connotes pain and terror which could further unnerve the narrator as something terrible may have occurred with the monkeys. Alternatively, this could show that the monkeys have been hurt which could indicate that the narrator may be harmed too: understandably, increasing his fear and tension.
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