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    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    phhewwwww, takes a lot to write this. my anxiety has been coming a lot recently and i just dont know what to do.

    okay, number 1; my crush. liked him for 2+ years and im sick of it. everytime we talk it feels so good but then i see him dating and laughing with other girls and i just feel terrible. why am i not good enough for him? will i ever be good enough for anyone? who would ever want to be with me?
    number 2 - my friends - im quite a social person, and i tend to open my heart up easily as well. some of my closest frineds, over the past year ive found are so so fake and it just hurts, it just kills, why am i not good enough for them, have i dont something wrong, have i pushed them away?
    number 3 - my family - my family do not believe in mental health problems. they dont. and i cant change their mind. i have therefore had to hide a lot of my feelings as the last time it came out, there was a big row which ended up even worse.

    i am always being compared to others. whether it is me doing it, or others, and i am finding it so hard to cope. i hate myself, i dont understand why i cant be different, lovable, good enough
    i know a lot of you will recommend therapy but i cant - i cant go to my family about it and i cant do it in secret. my school also only offers in lesson time and i cant miss lessons

    please help, its overwhelming me. i find it so hard to manage and go about my day to day life.
    • #2

    I'm not entirely good with giving good advice, but I'll try explain what I did when I had my anxiety and hopefully that will help you in some way.

    I used to have a lot of anxiety attacks over something I only had some sort of control over. It became very overwhelming, but the way I was able to go through this was just allowing the attacks to actually happen and accepting that there are millions of others that are going through the same thing. I know that's not probably what you want to hear, but for some reason, having that thought on my mind helped me calm down considerably. Another thing I do is listen to music.

    I definitely understand you with the overwhelming part. When a lot of things go happen it can feel very overwhelming, especially if you haven't experienced anything like that before. This might sound stupid again... the way I was able to go through that was just completely taking your mind of off that.

    "i know a lot of you will recommend therapy but i cant - i cant go to my family about it and i cant do it in secret. my school also only offers in lesson time and i cant miss lessons"

    The best advice I can ever give you is to actually get therapy. They help you a lot. If you can't go due to your family or school, you can go to your GP on your own if you wish. You can open up to them about what makes you feel this way and they can help guide you to a local therapy hosted by the NHS, which means it is free. You don't have to physically go to the therapy sessions because they give you the option to have appointments via phone.

    Hope some of this helped. All the best x
    • #3

    I'm currently about to start CBT over the phone which will hopefully be useful, and there is also some self-help CBT stuff online which has strangely worked wonders for me!

    Take your time with things, do things at your own pace and persevere. It is literally all in your mind, the physical side is because of the mindset.

    A few months ago I had a breakdown and quit my job. It's only recently I've felt more comfortable going out again, sitting in traffic, talking to people. I've even managed to go into the doctors surgery, something which was completely beyond me a few months ago.

    I just have recently hit a point - although I am by no means "cured" - I have acknowledged the fact I haven't lived my life to the full, and become basically a hermit because of this. It's all in my head, and only I can beat it. Like I said, I am not there yet, but persistence, staying positive and taking your time is key.

    If you can, antidepressants may help as well, but they're not for everyone.

    Things WILL get better, it just takes a matter of time. Cut the people out who don't deserve you and focus your energy on the ones who do. You will be a lot happier that way. Even if you feel you have no one, eventually by living your life, you will find great like minded people and feel blessed to have a small circle of TRUE and close friends. There's no point in having loads of friends, or even one friend if they don't treat you properly, or make you feel good.

    Good luck x
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