The Student Room Group

Is confrontation required?

Ok so my ' friend' is driving me insane. I haven't spoke to them in person for nearly 2 months since they refuse to see me and have been actively avoiding me in person. I'm living with this person next year hence its understandable I'm going to worry about the fact we're not speaking in person. I've tried to approach the issue and say we need to clear the air yet they claim that there is no air to be cleared and that I ought to just drop it....they are more than happy to have conversation with me on social media yet barely make eye contact with me in the flesh. What should I do ?

For context I used to be basically bff with this person but they claim I am extremely negative hence they don't wanna be around me
Original post by fefssdf
Ok so my ' friend' is driving me insane. I haven't spoke to them in person for nearly 2 months since they refuse to see me and have been actively avoiding me in person. I'm living with this person next year hence its understandable I'm going to worry about the fact we're not speaking in person. I've tried to approach the issue and say we need to clear the air yet they claim that there is no air to be cleared and that I ought to just drop it....they are more than happy to have conversation with me on social media yet barely make eye contact with me in the flesh. What should I do ?

For context I used to be basically bff with this person but they claim I am extremely negative hence they don't wanna be around me


Havent we done this before and you were trying anti depressants? have they started to work yet?

I would just leave it alone for now and focus on you. When you feel better and after the exams then decide if you want to ,live with her.

Confrontation has a way of backfiring and she isnt in the mood.
Im giving you the 'punchiest title of the day' medal. :wink:

And 999tigger is giving you good advice. Hang back for the time being.

You decide if you want to live with her.

You are the master of your own destiny. [too cheesy?] Depression is difficult buddy.

P.S. If the anti depressants are not working. Dont try taking more of them. The higher dosage wont work either. And could cause blackouts at the wheel for example, [as I learnt the hard way] Go back to your GP, and tell him you want to try another type.

I.E. from Fluoxetine [Prozac] to Citralopram etc...

Its common for someone to try 3 different types before they find one which works.
(edited 6 years ago)
Stop being negative. Cut all negativity out of your life. Don't be a typical stroppy teenager. Do not criticise anyone ever.

Be positive.
Reply 4
Original post by 999tigger
Havent we done this before and you were trying anti depressants? have they started to work yet?

I would just leave it alone for now and focus on you. When you feel better and after the exams then decide if you want to ,live with her.

Confrontation has a way of backfiring and she isnt in the mood.


Yeh I was on antidepressants but they made me feel incredibly tired so I just ended up giving up with them since I was very unproductive as a result. I am however still seeing a therapist which I find is helpful. In terms of this situation I rang up the other person who will be sharing the house with us and she was basically saying how I need to stop bringing up the issue and that he doesn't want to be my friend and that I should just move on ect and I said how I wanted to speak to them in person and she just refused saying she didn't see the point. She also said that the only reason they reply to my messages is to be civil and then they said how they will just be an acquitance type thing next year and nothing more... I dunno what to make of it tbh I kind of just feel sick
Original post by fefssdf
Yeh I was on antidepressants but they made me feel incredibly tired so I just ended up giving up with them since I was very unproductive as a result. I am however still seeing a therapist which I find is helpful. In terms of this situation I rang up the other person who will be sharing the house with us and she was basically saying how I need to stop bringing up the issue and that he doesn't want to be my friend and that I should just move on ect and I said how I wanted to speak to them in person and she just refused saying she didn't see the point. She also said that the only reason they reply to my messages is to be civil and then they said how they will just be an acquitance type thing next year and nothing more... I dunno what to make of it tbh I kind of just feel sick


Maybe you are more annoying than you realise and the more you think tou try to solve something the worse you make it. You need to stop pushing. Exercise helps and there are different types of anti depressant. You dont seem to have pursued it very far.

I refer you to my previous advice. All the energy you are wasting on this is what you could be spending on your exams.

If you arent coping then you could suspend your studies. Your degree is more important than any passing friendship. I can see your friends point of view and its not going in for you.
Reply 6
They clearly don’t want you in their life. Look into changing your accommodation, plenty of people do it. Remove yourself from the situation is your best bet.
Do you think you act negative with your friend?
Reply 8
Original post by blueflame8
Do you think you act negative with your friend?


Yeh I mean I can understand their point given I really dislike my degree and so I would tend to kind of just complain about it a lot and say how I never understand stuff ect
Why can't both of yous be mature ppl?
no real need once they see me decked out in supreme and off white and rocking a gucci belt they know im on that gang Sh1t and they stay away
OMG i can totse understand me and my bff were like buying kankens and she picked up royal blue too.

Anyway long story short I got one up on her by buying the macbrook pro
Sad times mate. These friends sound like *****. I just hope you move accommodation or something.

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