Is my new housemate HIV positive? how do i approach him about it?

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Baron of Sealand
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
why are you quoting "live" the OP is askng about his housemate...
Because you're idea of living with someone seems to involve having sex with them (the only reason you should worry about someone's HIV status).

I personally don't have sex with everyone I live with, so I'm quoting that.
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Notoriety
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#22
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(Original post by Little Toy Gun)
1. It's simply your ignorance and you're buying into the decades-long propaganda for you to fear for anything HIV-related.

2. The consequences are not grave:
a. HIV carriers have a similar life expectancy as everyone else these days;
b. with treatment, it's now quite possible for someone to be "undetectable", meaning that person's HIV cannot be transmitted no matter what;
c. the NHS would pay for the costs for the treatment.
No, you are being ignorant in assuming that everyone who has HIV is a gay person who contracts it through sex.
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Bang Outta Order
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Little Toy Gun)
Because you're idea of living with someone seems to involve having sex with them (the only reason you should worry about someone's HIV status).

I personally don't have sex with everyone I live with, so I'm quoting that.
wtf are you talking bout when I literally mentioned NON-sexual examples like absent-mindedly touching something after get a cut...

Anyway LIKE. I. SAID. OP should respectfully ask their housemate about it, whether they can catch this illness off them or not. They have EVERY right to know who they live with. Stop. Quoting me.
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Baron of Sealand
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(Original post by Notoriety)
No, you are being ignorant in assuming that everyone who has HIV is a gay person who contracts it through sex.
I didn't, and I specifically said you could get infected with shared needles. I'd also add that it's possible during a surgery, but even that is actually not very likely.
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Baron of Sealand
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
wtf are you talking bout when I literally mentioned NON-sexual examples like absent-mindedly touching something after get a cut...

Anyway LIKE. I. SAID. OP should respectfully ask their housemate about it, whether they can catch this illness off them or not. They have EVERY right to know who they live with. Stop. Quoting me.
Because you cannot get HIV by simply touching things an HIV carrier may or may not have touched (if you don't know, that touching definitely happened long ago enough for the virus to die after being exposed to air).
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Notoriety
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Little Toy Gun)
Unless you're worried that he might take out a used needle and stab you with it, there's absolutely no need to worry about it.
I am not so worried now. In that moment, as the possibility crossed my mind, I was wondering if I had read the HIV literature diligently enough. Maybe he might cough directly into my mouth, book-infused saliva, and I am gonna be in the sequel to Dallas Buyers.

Again, to be clear, I am not saying I am worried. I am saying in that brief second reason abandoned me. I think it is a natural reaction to the perception of danger. It might just be the case that not everyone reads the HIV literature as diligently as you, and when posed with an actual risk, they are not 100% confident that they will leave unaffected. Even 1% doubt is enough for you to lose some sleep.
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Baron of Sealand
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#27
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(Original post by Notoriety)
I am not so worried now. In that moment, as the possibility crossed my mind, I was wondering if I had read the HIV literature diligently enough. Maybe he might cough directly into my mouth, book-infused saliva, and I am gonna be in the sequel to Dallas Buyers.

Again, to be clear, I am not saying I am worried. I am saying in that brief second reason abandoned me. I think it is a natural reaction to the perception of danger. It might just be the case that not everyone reads the HIV literature as diligently as you, and when posed with an actual risk, they are not 100% confident that they will leave unaffected. Even 1% doubt is enough for you to lose some sleep.
And that's why I said it was the decades-long HIV propaganda getting to you.

It's theoretically possible to transmit through saliva, but you'd have to drink 2 litres of it at the same time, or something.
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Notoriety
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#28
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(Original post by Little Toy Gun)
And that's why I said it was the decades-long HIV propaganda getting to you.

It's theoretically possible to transmit through saliva, but you'd have to drink 2 litres of it at the same time, or something.

HIV is still a significant health condition. Not everyone gets checked for it, so you could have it for some time without knowing. That at least makes it scary, even without old "GRID" myths.
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Baron of Sealand
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Notoriety)
HIV is still a significant health condition. Not everyone gets checked for it, so you could have it for some time without knowing. That at least makes it scary, even without old "GRID" myths.
Sure, but in your case, you'd go and get tested so that's not even a concern. And I'm guessing you are a medical professional, in which case if you're actually at risk, you'd most likely be given PEPSE anyway.
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Greatleysteg
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#30
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I don't have HIV, but some of the ignorance on this thread is pretty offensive.

Little Toy Gun is right.

1. You have no need to worry. You would need to swallow more than half a pint of this person's saliva to have even the remotest chance of contracting HIV from them.

2. HIV does not survive for more than a very short period outside the body.

3. Your housemate has no obligation to tell you, and believe me, if there was any risk to you, this is something they would have disclosed to you long ago.

4. The fact that you feel uncomfortable with the situation is entirely your problem, and your fault, not theirs. You need to get over your misconceptions and prejudice. Would you feel uncomfortable if you suddenly found out they were diabetic? Or had cancer? Or were gay? Or Muslim or otherwise deeply religious?

Instead of propagating outdated prejudices, why not educate yourselves? Head to the Terrence Higgins Trust ( http://www.tht.org.uk/myhiv/HIV-and-...-passed-on_qm_ ) or some other organisation working in HIV+ treatment, prevention and education.

Here's a choice quote:

"You cannot pass on HIV by:
  • kissing
  • hugging
  • shaking hands with somebody
  • any other normal social contact
  • sharing space with someone
  • sharing a toilet
  • sharing household items such as cups, plates, cutlery, or bed linen."
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Lucas1Wright
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#31
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#31
Nah am straight. I guess my concern comes from the fact that i don't know much about HIV or the medication itself and maybe i am just overreacting a bit however i feel if we're going to be living together while studying, there need to be a bit of trust going on here, all 4 of us housemate have made him feel welcomed and part of the group, having nights out, studying together..etc..

I mean we share 2 bathrooms and a large kitchen with Utensils, let say for example he uses the same spoon, forks or even accidentally spits on any of us while chatting or stops taking the medication, what happens to him then?

By letting us all housemates know, it may help us understand him and the illness itself better to help or make things easier for him, if need be.
well when he moved in the other 2 girls informed him that they were vegetarian so...it's only fair. not that i am comparing HIV to being vegetarian...of course being a vegetarian is far worse!
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oae
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#32
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#32
Helo luccas i have a good way.
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LG as you were x
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#33
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#33
Can I ask why the **** you would ask on here rather than using google
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oae
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#34
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#34
It is a realy un safe condition. I have a plane to get him chacked.
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oae
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Google can not compete the discussion between adults because this discussion results in google knowledge.
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Lucas1Wright
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#36
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#36
I gave him a lift this morning, on the drive, i casually asked him about the medication (Tenofovir) tablets he takes all time, he replied " oh it's for my nose". which is bull really and does not help calm my fear at all but i didn't press him on it. I still haven't mention anything to the other housemates about his medication as of yet.

Am not being unfair to him but am an extreme hypochondriac, i would prefer if here was just honest.


On the HIV, i don't know anything about the illness, however i will now do my research and read up on it.
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Greatleysteg
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#37
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(Original post by Lucas1Wright)
Nah am straight. I guess my concern comes from the fact that i don't know much about HIV or the medication itself and maybe i am just overreacting a bit however i feel if we're going to be living together while studying, there need to be a bit of trust going on here, all 4 of us housemate have made him feel welcomed and part of the group, having nights out, studying together..etc..

I mean we share 2 bathrooms and a large kitchen with Utensils, let say for example he uses the same spoon, forks or even accidentally spits on any of us while chatting or stops taking the medication, what happens to him then?
Please see my reply above.

(Original post by Lucas1Wright)
By letting us all housemates know, it may help us understand him and the illness itself better to help or make things easier for him, if need be.
well when he moved in the other 2 girls informed him that they were vegetarian so...it's only fair. not that i am comparing HIV to being vegetarian...of course being a vegetarian is far worse!
You cannot compare these 2 things. For a start, it's pretty difficult to hide vegetarianism, as it will become obvious when you try to cook together/suggest eating out/offer one another food. There's also no social stigma attached to vegetarianism any more. Sadly, there still is to HIV, albeit wrongly so, and it remains a very personal thing that need not be disclosed. If your housemate felt able to tell you, and wanted to, then they would.
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doodle_333
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#38
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As others have said it can also be used for preventing HIV contraction. So you have no idea if he is HIV+ or not. If he was, being on medication would reduce the risk of infection to almost nothing (you'd be just as at risk sleeping with some random using a condom). You also can't contract HIV through normal flatsharing activities. OK if he cuts himself, bleeds over everything and doesn't clean it up then you can ask him... but you can't contract it through coughs, sweat, touching him etc so sharing a flat really isn't a risk to you. If this guy does have HIV then his life is hard enough, there is next to no chance he would be prepared to put you at risk (and he will know how to ensure he doesn't put anyone else at risk) and he doesn't need to be victimising by his whole flat deciding he has HIV.
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unprinted
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#39
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The medication will mean it's impossible for him to transmit HIV to you even if he repeatedly shagged you in the arse without a condom.

As he's not even asking about doing that, it's none of your business. Coming out about being HIV+ is not easy - you have no idea where that info is going to go or what the reaction is going to be and given there's zero risk to you, WTF should they come out to you?
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KirstyPlumb
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#40
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#40
(Original post by lowtestbeta)
just don't kiss him
You could acc kiss him, you still wouldn’t catch it, just don’t have unprotected sex with him, that is literally the only way to catch HIV bar having a blood transfusion with infected blood
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