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Please help me i need help communicating watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey guys.

    Me and my bf of two years got back together after a 3 month break up in which we spoke on and off during the break up. Communication has been a big issue for us and this new relationship of my and his we have been improving it and been trying to ever since we got back together.

    Due to things happening in our old relationship I’ve had some trust issues right now. We’ve been together since we broke up for 1 month and a half and before he breakup it was 2 years. This month and a half we’ve been together again if felt ok however this past week or two I’ve felt insecure in the relationship and feel like I have slight trust issues I do not trust him 100%.

    How do I bring this up to him? Please can I have some advice and help. Sometimes I sound rude and blunt when I talk so I don’t want it to come off bad or harsh to him. I want to feel happy and reassured and comfortable at least a bit after talking to him about this. It’s hard for me because I’m not an insecure person AT ALL!!
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    So you want him to lie to you so that you can believe his lies and feel comfortable?


    There is no point in you discussing your trust issues with him. If you're right to suspect him he will lie. If you think you can tell when he lies from his body language, you are mistaken. If your suspicions have no foundation you will come across as too jealous and controlling. Either way, you gain nothing.

    Gather evidence without him knowing. If you can't do that, accept that you will never find out what he's been up to. What you can do instead is keep your eyes open for any more red flags that come along in the future. In the meantime enjoy your time together with him.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    So you want him to lie to you so that you can believe his lies and feel comfortable?


    There is no point in you discussing your trust issues with him. If you're right to suspect him he will lie. If you think you can tell when he lies from his body language, you are mistaken. If your suspicions have no foundation you will come across as too jealous and controlling. Either way, you gain nothing.

    Gather evidence without him knowing. If you can't do that, accept that you will never find out what he's been up to. What you can do instead is keep your eyes open for any more red flags that come along in the future. In the meantime enjoy your time together with him.
    Ok first of all I’m not saying he’s doing anything ! I just feel a certain type of way and I want to share that with my partner because that’s what you should do..
    anyways thanks for ur advice..
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    There's no smoke without fire.
    Trust your instincts.

    Just focus on the positive things in your life and talk about them with your boyfriend.
    Whilst being realistic at the same time and doing little bits of private detective work to set your mind at rest or confirm your suspicions.
    Like checking his call and texting history on his mobile. Or fitting a hidden tracker to his car. .
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    So you want him to lie to you so that you can believe his lies and feel comfortable?


    There is no point in you discussing your trust issues with him. If you're right to suspect him he will lie. If you think you can tell when he lies from his body language, you are mistaken. If your suspicions have no foundation you will come across as too jealous and controlling. Either way, you gain nothing.

    Gather evidence without him knowing. If you can't do that, accept that you will never find out what he's been up to. What you can do instead is keep your eyes open for any more red flags that come along in the future. In the meantime enjoy your time together with him.
    Ok first of all I’m not saying he’s doing anything ! I just feel a certain type of way and I want to share that with my partner because that’s what you should do..
    anyways thanks for ur advice..

    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    There's no smoke without fire.
    Trust your instincts.

    Just focus on the positive things in your life and talk about them with your boyfriend.
    Whilst being realistic at the same time and doing little bits of private detective work to set your mind at rest or confirm your suspicions.
    Like checking his call and texting history on his mobile. Or fitting a hidden tracker to his car. .
    I’ve seen his phone nothing was there...
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys.

    Me and my bf of two years got back together after a 3 month break up in which we spoke on and off during the break up. Communication has been a big issue for us and this new relationship of my and his we have been improving it and been trying to ever since we got back together.

    Due to things happening in our old relationship I’ve had some trust issues right now. We’ve been together since we broke up for 1 month and a half and before he breakup it was 2 years. This month and a half we’ve been together again if felt ok however this past week or two I’ve felt insecure in the relationship and feel like I have slight trust issues I do not trust him 100%.

    How do I bring this up to him? Please can I have some advice and help. Sometimes I sound rude and blunt when I talk so I don’t want it to come off bad or harsh to him. I want to feel happy and reassured and comfortable at least a bit after talking to him about this. It’s hard for me because I’m not an insecure person AT ALL!!
    Trust your gut instinct maybe?
    Talk it out if you can, if not then I don't know. I don't know enough about your situation.
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    No you should not necessarily share all your feelings with your partner. Especially when they are critical of him. Criticism poisons relationships. It turns friends into enemies.
    For sure honesty generally is the best policy.
    But saying negative, critical things isn't. Or if you must, say it in the most indirect, emotionally neutral or positive way that you can. And try to say it once only. Repeating it becomes nagging.

    When you say nothing was on his phone, does that mean that his history was deleted which would be a huge red flag, or that the history was there and it was all innocent?
 
 
 
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