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How to make friends when you have none watch

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    #1

    I'm in my second year at uni and didn't have much luck making friends first year. Things have gotten better this year but I still feel like the fact I didn't make any friends first year is holding me back.

    The other day one friend (out of 2) asked me to go clubbing and to invite some friends to come along and I had to make some excuse cause I was embarrassed to admit I only have one other friend (whose personality clashes with the other). I feel like there's still a lot of things I can't do (group wise) cause I only have 2 friends who don't like each other.

    I joined societies and tried talking to classmates but nothing came out it cause most of the time people have other friends and stick with them.

    Feeling a little hopeless right now.
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    Well I find that if you have at least 1 friend then you can make friends with their friends and so on, just ask one of your friends to invite there friends next time you go out and I am sure that they would be happy to be friends with you too. Also having 2 close friends is much better than having 20 fake friends, just be yourself and if they don’t want to be your friend then it is their loss
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    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my second year at uni and didn't have much luck making friends first year. Things have gotten better this year but I still feel like the fact I didn't make any friends first year is holding me back.

    The other day one friend (out of 2) asked me to go clubbing and to invite some friends to come along and I had to make some excuse cause I was embarrassed to admit I only have one other friend (whose personality clashes with the other). I feel like there's still a lot of things I can't do (group wise) cause I only have 2 friends who don't like each other.

    I joined societies and tried talking to classmates but nothing came out it cause most of the time people have other friends and stick with them.

    Feeling a little hopeless right now.
    Go online. I got bullied too. Forums help. videogames and sport too.
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    (Original post by Eleanor311)
    Well I find that if you have at least 1 friend then you can make friends with their friends and so on, just ask one of your friends to invite there friends next time you go out and I am sure that they would be happy to be friends with you too. Also having 2 close friends is much better than having 20 fake friends, just be yourself and if they don’t want to be your friend then it is their loss
    I agree but they don't normally invite me to hangout with their other friends. Also, I'm pretty awkward so I feel nervous hanging out with people who all know each other and I don't. I wouldn't mind hanging out with one new person but a whole group? *Starts sweating*
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    There is really no need to be worried, they are only people and have probably felt the same at some point in their life. Really what is the worst thing that can happen? Try to talk to the people that you are in you classes with, you can talk about the work that you are doing and then slowly start to have more in depth conversations, that is always the best way to make friends also you will have similar interests if you are in the same classes.
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    How about smiling and being kind. Doing washing etc.
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    I dont get it. It's easy to make friends. Just chat to people and keep chatting as you walk away from class or a lecture, seminar wherever you are, to a new place like a caff. :dontknow: You won't make friends if you don't hang out with them after classes, and you don't necessarily have to speak to them before or during class first, either. But it helps cos you're continuing a conversation instead of being that awkward person walking up out of nowhere and following them lol I'm rarely the approacher though. I'm normally the approach-ee.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my second year at uni and didn't have much luck making friends first year. Things have gotten better this year but I still feel like the fact I didn't make any friends first year is holding me back.

    The other day one friend (out of 2) asked me to go clubbing and to invite some friends to come along and I had to make some excuse cause I was embarrassed to admit I only have one other friend (whose personality clashes with the other). I feel like there's still a lot of things I can't do (group wise) cause I only have 2 friends who don't like each other.

    I joined societies and tried talking to classmates but nothing came out it cause most of the time people have other friends and stick with them.

    Feeling a little hopeless right now.
    I can honestly relate! I’m in my first year of uni and although I’ve got “friends” at uni, I can’t exactly relate to them or trust them as much as my friends from sixth form, who I’ve known for 7 years and are now virtually like brothers. I find it tough but honestly the best thing is to join a sports society, like tennis or badminton, because you’ll be forced to play with other people and it’s a really easy way to start a conversation.

    Either you accept that uni is going to be a loner ride ( like I have) or you do something about it. The choice is yours
    • #1
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    I dont get it. It's easy to make friends. Just chat to people and keep chatting as you walk away from class or a lecture, seminar wherever you are, to a new place like a caff. :dontknow: You won't make friends if you don't hang out with them after classes, and you don't necessarily have to speak to them before or during class first, either. But it helps cos you're continuing a conversation instead of being that awkward person walking up out of nowhere and following them lol I'm rarely the approacher though. I'm normally the approach-ee.
    I have though. There have been numerous people I have spoken to, had lunch with, went to the library with. I think we just didn't click. Like I said before, a lot of the time they have friends already. So they'll talk about their plans and stuff for the weekend and I never get invited. Of course I'm not going to be like "oh can I come, pretty please". I don't want to force anything.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have though. There have been numerous people I have spoken to, had lunch with, went to the library with. I think we just didn't click. Like I said before, a lot of the time they have friends already. So they'll talk about their plans and stuff for the weekend and I never get invited. Of course I'm not going to be like "oh can I come, pretty please". I don't want to force anything.
    Can relate so much.

    I've got plenty of acquaintances at uni but actual friends? realistically only one. I've tried so hard with people to try and get them to do stuff and nobody is interested
    • #3
    #3

    I can relate to this. In first year I had a great social life but in second year all of my friends were in relationships, snowed under with work and we all generally started drifting and seeing each other less. My social life was so dead and I was pretty lonely. Second year is hard because everyone else has kind of got their friendship groups already so it's difficult to infiltrate.
    I know you're looking for friends and not a relationship but if you're single (which I'm guessing you are?) then I'd recommend getting tinder. I started talking to a guy that seemed pretty sound and we had a lot in common but we weren't flirting really. He invited me on a night out with some of his friends to meet him in real life and it was so nice having my own plans for once. We decided to just be friends because I wasn't feeling anything romantic towards him but we still hung out and invited each other to places and I became friends with some of his group. I did the same when I was back home in summer and started talking to a couple guys on tinder, again kept it quite friendly not flirty and we'd chat and go on nights out together.
    If you don't want to meet them on your own you can also just make it so next time your mate says 'bring some friends' you can invite this tinder person.
    Also I hope you still went on that night out. There's nothing wrong with turning up on your own. It's a good way to get chatting to new people in the group.
 
 
 
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