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Question for Muslim girls watch

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    Do you think it will be hard for you to find someone for marriage? If you haven’t had any proposals yet, does it make you worry?
    How does it work in your family/culture?

    If you are already married, how did it happen?
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    I'm only 17 mate. Ain't looking to get married any time soon. Idk if it will be hard cos I'm only 17. I don't know, I guess I find someone I like, start talking and then tell my parents?
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    my sister was 17 when she got married.. the guy she married was the brother of some girls she new at school and they "recommended" her and she almost refused but then she met him and couldn't resist him.
    I'm 17 and I've never had a proper proposal but some people have expressed interests in me and ask my mum about me to see if I'm available. I dont know how it works in other cultures but in Indian culture generally girls start getting proposals at my age and if you're studying still or something our parents will tell them that they're still studying and will be available after 18 or 21 or something like that.
    It's a very word of mouth thing, just a bunch of mums and aunties and grandmothers judging young girls to see how pretty they are and how suitable they are for their son.

    anyways it's stupid.
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    brothers know me inside out and so theyd probably know whod suit me
    also i can always meet people at uni and sixth form
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    I'm 25 and have only recently decided to go back into education, so unsure as to what to do. I'm arab and there aren't many of us where I live so yes it does kinda worry me... especially because of my age etc.
    My situation is a bit unusual as I grew up in a white area and so except for 2 muslim friends I made at Saturday morning arabic school I don't have a big muslim support network. My white friends can't introduce me to people lol.
    There was a muslim guy I liked a while back and he seemed kinda flirty but he lost interest soon enough. I tend to find a lot of arab guys spend their time chasing white girls, and see arab girls as kinda 'second rate' tbh. I mean, ok they do mostly end up marrying muslim girls eventually, but only because of parental pressure it seems. TSR threads such as 'do white girls like *insert minority* guys?' don't do anything to help my insecurities lol.
    Sorry if I sound like I'm going off on a bitter rant. Being muslim and female in this country (or any for that matter) is hard.
    I might try one of those online muslim marriage sites, but I'm unsure as people say it's really like muslim tinder :rolleyes:
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    Who even wants to get married now? Soon Civil Partnerships will be open to all
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 25 and have only recently decided to go back into education, so unsure as to what to do. I'm arab and there aren't many of us where I live so yes it does kinda worry me... especially because of my age etc.
    My situation is a bit unusual as I grew up in a white area and so except for 2 muslim friends I made at Saturday morning arabic school I don't have a big muslim support network. My white friends can't introduce me to people lol.
    There was a muslim guy I liked a while back and he seemed kinda flirty but he lost interest soon enough. I tend to find a lot of arab guys spend their time chasing white girls, and see arab girls as kinda 'second rate' tbh. I mean, ok they do mostly end up marrying muslim girls eventually, but only because of parental pressure it seems. TSR threads such as 'do white girls like *insert minority* guys?' don't do anything to help my insecurities lol.
    Sorry if I sound like I'm going off on a bitter rant. Being muslim and female in this country (or any for that matter) is hard.
    I might try one of those online muslim marriage sites, but I'm unsure as people say it's really like muslim tinder :rolleyes:
    pretty much tbh
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    you're asking as if they have a choice. Most of the Muslim girls of my age are either already married or they have been arranged to married someone 10-15 years older than them
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    (Original post by Fasih123)
    you're asking as if they have a choice. Most of the Muslim girls of my age are either already married or they have been arranged to married someone 10-15 years older than them
    We get a choice, trust me or I'd be married by now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think it will be hard for you to find someone for marriage? If you haven’t had any proposals yet, does it make you worry?
    How does it work in your family/culture?

    If you are already married, how did it happen?
    1. No because I don’t need to find anyone- not my personality.
    2. It’s very rare that a girl won’t get any marriage proposals at all within the Afghan community. Proposals usually start very early, almost as soon as they turn 16 or something- if you know, you know. And no I’m not worried.
    3. The girl is usually recommended or the guy has seen the girl before and knows about her. Once the guy is ready for marriage, he lets his parents/family know about it. The guy sends his parents/family/female relatives to propose marriage on his behalf. Then the girl and her family will either agree or disagree- sometimes this may take a long time. This is just brief though so yh.

    (Original post by Fasih123)
    you're asking as if they have a choice. Most of the Muslim girls of my age are either already married or they have been arranged to married someone 10-15 years older than them
    You’re wrong, we do have a choice.
    • #3
    #3

    Nah I'm not really worried about getting married, ik there's always an option available. I've been getting informal proposals since I was around 17 (I'm 19 now) where mothers have recommended their sons to my aunts and parents. I've just been saying no to them so I can concentrate on studies.
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    #1

    (Original post by geniequeen48)
    I'm only 17 mate. Ain't looking to get married any time soon. Idk if it will be hard cos I'm only 17. I don't know, I guess I find someone I like, start talking and then tell my parents?
    I’ve seen 17 year olds who got married so it’s not a big deal. Do you not fear falling into haram that way?

    (Original post by justanotherchica)
    my sister was 17 when she got married.. the guy she married was the brother of some girls she new at school and they "recommended" her and she almost refused but then she met him and couldn't resist him.
    I'm 17 and I've never had a proper proposal but some people have expressed interests in me and ask my mum about me to see if I'm available. I dont know how it works in other cultures but in Indian culture generally girls start getting proposals at my age and if you're studying still or something our parents will tell them that they're still studying and will be available after 18 or 21 or something like that.
    It's a very word of mouth thing, just a bunch of mums and aunties and grandmothers judging young girls to see how pretty they are and how suitable they are for their son.

    anyways it's stupid.
    Interesting, it’s good that it worked out for her then in the halal way. Do you worry about marriage and at what age would you want to get married?

    (Original post by xnotapplicablex)
    brothers know me inside out and so theyd probably know whod suit me
    also i can always meet people at uni and sixth form
    That’s nice so your brothers will recommend a guy for you and then you’ll give your consent?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 25 and have only recently decided to go back into education, so unsure as to what to do. I'm arab and there aren't many of us where I live so yes it does kinda worry me... especially because of my age etc.
    My situation is a bit unusual as I grew up in a white area and so except for 2 muslim friends I made at Saturday morning arabic school I don't have a big muslim support network. My white friends can't introduce me to people lol.
    There was a muslim guy I liked a while back and he seemed kinda flirty but he lost interest soon enough. I tend to find a lot of arab guys spend their time chasing white girls, and see arab girls as kinda 'second rate' tbh. I mean, ok they do mostly end up marrying muslim girls eventually, but only because of parental pressure it seems. TSR threads such as 'do white girls like *insert minority* guys?' don't do anything to help my insecurities lol.
    Sorry if I sound like I'm going off on a bitter rant. Being muslim and female in this country (or any for that matter) is hard.
    I might try one of those online muslim marriage sites, but I'm unsure as people say it's really like muslim tinder :rolleyes:
    Are you not allowed to marry other ethnicities?
    That’s sad to hear. Arab guys should stop acting like that but I’m sure there are Arab guys who don’t have that thinking so Inshallah don’t lose hope. I’d be be careful with the Muslim marriage sites, don’t think they are trustworthy, safe and completely halal. Try finding a guy through family and friends first.

    (Original post by Luke5125)
    Who even wants to get married now? Soon Civil Partnerships will be open to all
    A lot of people.

    (Original post by starfab)
    pretty much tbh
    Don’t you think it’s risky searching for a partner online. How old are you, why would you resort to that?
    Have you not had any proposals in real life?

    (Original post by Fasih123)
    you're asking as if they have a choice. Most of the Muslim girls of my age are either already married or they have been arranged to married someone 10-15 years older than them
    They do and it’s evident on this thread, take your negativity elsewhere please.

    (Original post by h333)
    1. No because I don’t need to find anyone- not my personality.
    2. It’s very rare that a girl won’t get any marriage proposals at all within the Afghan community. Proposals usually start very early, almost as soon as they turn 16 or something- if you know, you know. And no I’m not worried.
    3. The girl is usually recommended or the guy has seen the girl before and knows about her. Once the guy is ready for marriage, he lets his parents/family know about it. The guy sends his parents/family/female relatives to propose marriage on his behalf. Then the girl and her family will either agree or disagree- sometimes this may take a long time. This is just brief though so yh.



    You’re wrong, we do have a choice.
    1. Ok, so I assume you expect the man to approach/propose to you, fair enough.
    2. That’s good. Afghans do seem to have strong connections so I assume it won’t be hard for you to find the right person for marriage. I can see why you’re not worried, you’ve probably had many proposals already? I don’t think you’re married yet so I guess that’s because you’re not interested yet or haven’t approved any proposals yet? Do you not fear that one day proposals may stop because you’re continuously rejecting them?
    3. Interesting, I feel this is the safest way and halal.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nah I'm not really worried about getting married, ik there's always an option available. I've been getting informal proposals since I was around 17 (I'm 19 now) where mothers have recommended their sons to my aunts and parents. I've just been saying no to them so I can concentrate on studies.
    Wow that’s good. As I said to the user called h333 above, do you not fear rejecting so many proposals? Are you not worried that you may miss out on the right guy because of this?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don’t you think it’s risky searching for a partner online. How old are you, why would you resort to that?
    Have you not had any proposals in real life?
    :confused: I didn't say I was searching for a partner online? I wouldn't do that even if I was desperate, which Alhamdulillah I am not. I was merely confirming that the Muslim marriage sites are more like Muslim Tinder.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think it will be hard for you to find someone for marriage? If you haven’t had any proposals yet, does it make you worry?
    How does it work in your family/culture?

    If you are already married, how did it happen?
    Possibly be hard to find a guy for me marry but in the town I come from the guy always asks so I'm not worried. By the time comes I will be old enough to marry and educated enough to be able to marry well. I am nearly 18 so I am aware that guys will be looking but I won't even think about accepting until next year.

    In my culture the boy's eldest female relative will call the girl's eldest relative and say he wishes to marry her. A supervised meeting is arranged and after 1/2 meets the girl and her family decides whether they will marry.
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    (Original post by starfab)
    We get a choice, trust me or I'd be married by now
    this

    (Original post by howitoughttobe)
    Well if anyone ever needed any proof of how backwards Muslim culture is then this thread is it. Thank f*ck I've escaped it.
    What is muslim culture?
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    (Original post by howitoughttobe)
    Well if anyone ever needed any proof of how backwards Muslim culture is then this thread is it. Thank f*ck I've escaped it.
    Muslim culture? :hmmmm:
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    (Original post by starfab)
    Muslim culture? :hmmmm:
    (Original post by MrsMars)
    What is muslim culture?
    Culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society

    Therefore
    Muslim culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of Muslims

    Didn't think it was that complicated but there you go
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    (Original post by howitoughttobe)
    Culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society

    Therefore
    Muslim culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of Muslims

    Didn't think it was that complicated but there you go
    Muslim and culture are completely two different things.

    A Muslim is an individual who believes in Islam, which is an identity. How then could you amalgamate the two together?
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    (Original post by howitoughttobe)
    Culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society

    Therefore
    Muslim culture: the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of Muslims

    Didn't think it was that complicated but there you go
    Great; you just forgot about the fact that there literally isn't a muslim culture
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    (Original post by MiszshorTea786)
    Muslim and culture are completely two different things.

    A Muslim is an individual who believes in Islam, which is an identity. How then could you amalgamate the two together?
    The majority of Muslims are from the same part of the world and subscribe to the same beliefs and ideology which inform their behaviour. Stop ignoring my point by arguing semantics.
 
 
 
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