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    So in my school, we have to elect the prefects and I am running this year. My speech is tomorrow and votes come from both students and teachers, so i need to appeal to both. Here's my speech so far, would appreciate any feedback:

    At the age of 5, my sister poked me in the eye with a sharp stick. By accident, I think. I’m squinting in this picture because, with glasses much thicker than I am, I think I’m going blind! Take it from me, playing football with glasses on doesn’t always work out, especially if you are allergic to your own sweat. Though I am not the best at sports (gesture to slogan), I, like the rest of Uplands, take great pride in our sporting achievements, as we do our academic excellence.

    But school is not just about grades-it’s about the experience. And I want to make sure each and every one of you gets the best Uplands experience possible. I’ve compiled a list of school feedback from you guys that I hope to work on if I am given the chance. You want better food, (more of those bread-pudding dessert things), shorter lunch lines, more fitting uniforms! I could promise you a lot of awesome things that other candidates might, but unfortunately, you’re too smart for that. But, I’m very willing to listen to you guys, and I think I’m quite approachable. I’m 5’1 and not intimidating in the least. What I can promise is to do my best to put improvements into action.
    But this isn’t about me. This is about you guys! As a new student this year, I’ve noticed many good things about Uplands-the generally good student-teacher relationships, the AstroTurf pitch, the milo. Likewise, there are things that change, such as the communication between the school and students on what needs to improve and what is being worked on. There is this gap between the school trying to improve things, and the students who don’t know it’s happening, and I want to bridge that gap to keep us all informed. The complaints about the lab chairs didn’t stop until they arrived, because it wasn’t known that they were coming!

    Also, we need more interaction with students in other year groups, to build a more inclusive school community. We can have competitions with mixed-year-group teams, so you can meet new people.

    I’m Victoria and I’m legally blind. Pretend you are too. Vote me for prefect.
    Thank you.
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    Be more assertive don't write 'I think I'm approachable' and having feedback is great but how are you going to change the school. I like your idea of competitions, give an example, e.g student bench ball. Pick one point and expand on it, your speech is really good, but the most memorable thing is that you need glasses. Also have you visited for/class rooms, if you are approachable then go and talk to people during break and lunch. Younger students generally don't know many of the older students so doing this will help. Talk to them about how you will personally help them and you can quote things they say.
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    Your speech is really good and funny. Those were just suggestions. Good luck Victoria legallyblind
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    (Original post by Angel_Chen)
    Your speech is really good and funny. Those were just suggestions. Good luck Victoria legallyblind
    Thank you for the suggestions!!! I appreciate them
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    (Original post by legallyblind)
    Thank you for the suggestions!!! I appreciate them
    Np, I really like your speech do you have to do manifestos?
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    What's the milo? I thought he was in the Tweenies!
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    (Original post by KingHarold)
    What's the milo? I thought he was in the Tweenies!
    haha i was talking about the drink Milo. People in my school practically live off it!
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    All this to be a prefect xD, it's only worth being a prefect (or monitor) at a large independent school like Harrow or Eton. Other than that, I don't see the excessiveness of seriousness in the application process in other schools. Being a prefect is a responsibilit to represent the values of your school, I was headboy at my previous school, before moving onto sixthform. The process was a simple letter to the the teacher responsible for prefects, accordingly my place was automatically chosen by the senior members of staff. The appointment of headboy was immediate, without any vote from the school community.

    You need to understand, that you'd probably become prefect without a speech, the votes from the teachers matter the most. The student body generally express preference to their friends, and thus becoming a popularity contest. Popularity contests are inherently flawed and do not favour students with academic or extra-curricular ability, these contests could therefore be exploited with entire friend groups being chosen or selected as becoming prefects. Therefore, there is a boundary to the power of a student vote, the teachers provide this boundary. I reccommend that in order to see confidence in yourself, consider what you have contributed to the school community, what activities and responsibilties you have committed; and most importantly your academic achievements.This is probably becoming a rant about student voting, but you need to aim to impress the teachers ; so don't worry about the impeccability of your speech.

    Your speech seems to be "original" for the standard speeches, however similar originality with starting speeches with a comedic anecdote is becoming regular. Although, the impact of the opening is fine. There really isn't much critique about your speech, and if there were to be votes alone, then you'd become prefect. Comedy is critically important when appealing to the student body, they need a personality to intereact with.However, it is important to say "what you can bring to the school", don't be cliche and say the boring "emotional contributions or producitvity to the table"; actually suggest something that can develop the school. Upon leaving my inadequate rated community college, it became an academy, adopting all the long list of suggestions I left, (inspired by Harrow School). Recently visiting my old school, during my holidays, it was good to see my adapatations were installed across the school community, with more elitist rankings and status, differing the average student from the academically talented ones. With more "Badges" and resposibiities to become leaders.

    Your key is to impress the teachers. Teachers know what friends groups are, they can see through students who "Purposely" and try working their way up to become prefect or head prefect, it's evident in every school. But you'll know who these people are, the ones who try insanely hard to "PLay the ball", never succeed. Always expect the unexpected, as we are in times of change; anyone can become prefect or head prefect if they make an inspirng speech and target the key teachers.

    Good luck,
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    (Original post by Angel_Chen)
    Np, I really like your speech do you have to do manifestos?
    Thankfully not!
 
 
 

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