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I think I'm being manipulated. watch

    • Thread Starter

    I'm usually quite an anxious person, but I don't think this is just me. There's a woman she is mid 30's, and I'm 21. I met her while out drawing. She was very friendly and nice to talk to. She had also spoken to other friends of mine. She wants to make a documentary, and I offered to help for experience. She told me to meet up with her and my friends to dicuss it; and this meeting was the first red flag. It was a feminist meeting, i had no idea what I wandered into, i was expecting to meet her for the documentary on mental health.
    The next red flag was that a friend was complaining she was being weird and coming on to her, I wasn't sure what to think, but the woman got very defensive and called her *****y and asked if i would stop hanging out with her etc.
    I brought another friend the second time meeting her and she kind of separated us a bit, when she could, and asked me to hang out at her house(i got out of it). I felt very strange about it seeing as I don't know her well.
    I also noticed she copied my anxiety sort of after a while, saying like : "oh look i have anxiety too" and I believe at one point she faked a panic attack, she had climbed a stairs to get an "aireal" shot for her documentary (which I'm not sure is even a fully baked idea) and shouted down at me that she got panicked due to the height and needed me to help her down. I felt it was fake as i have panic attacks a lot and they take at least 20 minutes to calm down from, not two seconds, and why would she climb up somewhere or even go to a high place when i can easily do it instead if she's so scared?
    She also asked me to ask her personal questions, this made me uncomfortable, I asked pretty general ones, but she steered the conversation to her personal problems and I felt like she was trying to force herself to cry. I felt super uncomfortable.
    My friends have all stated they're also getting bad vibes, and while I don't want to be judgmental I did come home feeling uncomfortable from her presence and I don't really trust her intentions.
    I think she's trying to manipulate me, and I think she brought me to the feminist group so that id sign up and feel a responsibility to go so that I'd have to hang out with her, even after the "documentary" (if there even is one) I kind of want to distance myself she is making me really uncomfortable and I'm not in a good place mentally so I think she's recognized my weakness and wants to take advantage...

    You seem to know what's going on very well, and that definetly does not sound like a safe environment. I would recommend loosing all contact with the woman. It is not worth risking your own self. Hope this helped😊
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    Please go back and read what you have written here. But, before you do - pretend someone you didn't even know wrote it. It is sooooo clear what you need to do. You are not comfortable being around her, you don't particularly trust her and you've seen very valid red flags w/ this woman. She is essentially a stranger. You tried to get to know her but you didn't know who she really is you only knew, initially, who she presented herself to be. You initially liked her (as a friend) and are now feeling somewhat confused as to what to do because the friendship didn't go as expected. Everyone here, and rightfully so, is going to tell you to move on from this friendship. I would suggest you start getting very busy and just not be available to get together. Always be 'too busy'. Then if she confronts you just say something like, "I've given it a lot of thought and I'm sorry but I won't be able to help you with your documentary and sincerely hope you'll be able to find someone else. Good luck with everything." Then if she persists in trying to see you, contact you, text you etc. block her!!! Someone in her 30's doesn't need a 21 year old best friend and I doubt you are looking to her as a mentor - especially not now. Back away. I think I agree with your friends and your own instincts it seems quite odd and not worth putting anymore time or effort into this friendship.
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