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    There's this girl that I have been talking to, who I barely know. She seems really REALLY into me, but I am constantly telling her that I don't want anything. However, she is persistent and carries on telling me that she can change my mind eventually and won't stop trying. Occasionally, as I am a guy, I get really turned on so I deeply consider using this girl for sex. I really don't know whether I should just cut my connection with her, stopping myself from using her as some sort of go to for sex, or pursue this further, using her when I really, want since she really wants to get together and would happily accept. Please help me...
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    Tell her that you find her extremely physically attractive and that you're not sure if you're attracted to her inner world yet.

    Tell her that you're happy to spend more time with her, but that you can't promise that you'll fall deeply in love with her. And that if she's happy to proceed on that basis, then so are you.

    You may find that when you move your relationship onto a more intimate level that you fall head over heals in love with her. Or you may find that as you get to know her better that you discover that you are incompatible.

    If you already know that you are basically incompatible - then tell her and take your relationship no further. And by incompatible, I don't mean taste in music, TV, films etc, but basic inner philosophies and outlook on the world.
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    Tell her that you find her extremely physically attractive and that you're not sure if you're attracted to her inner world yet.

    Tell her that you're happy to spend more time with her, but that you can't promise that you'll fall deeply in love with her. And that if she's happy to proceed on that basis, then so are you.

    You may find that when you move your relationship onto a more intimate level that you fall head over heals in love with her. Or you may find that as you get to know her better that you discover that you are incompatible.

    If you already know that you are basically incompatible - then tell her and take your relationship no further. And by incompatible, I don't mean taste in music, TV, films etc, but basic inner philosophies and outlook on the world.
    I know that I really don't want a relationship with her ever. We're from two different worlds, she has too many issues that I won't be able to cope with. Everytime I tell her that we could just get together but for a bit of non-emotional sex, she's like okay, but in the long term, I know we'll be together. Like seriously, why can't she get it through her head that it's never going to happen.
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    If you were gonna use her for sex, maybe let her know lmao but not as bluntly, just be like, you’re really attractive, and i like talking to you im just im not looking for a serious relationship right now, i mean, it sounds a bit like a cliché, but if she just wants to hook up that bad she may still just want to, and at least then youre not lying or leading her on
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    If she says she's OK for the non-emotional sex AND you're happy to deal with the ineveitable emotional fall-out from her when you finally dump her then go ahead with a sexual fling.

    Think of it is as giving her short term joy (being with you) that will lead to medium term pain for her (getting dumped), that will improve her in the long term (make her more mature).

    If you can't handle how she'll react when you dump her, don't touch her with your barge pole.
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    dude if your that horny and you only wanna "use her for sex" then I suggest you cut all ties with her. You don't want to ruin her life. Although, if you want a relationship with her (highly doubt it cause lets be honest you don't) then just get with her if you catch my drift. Cause take it from my book I ain't gonna share personal stuff cause it just haunts me but trust me just cut all ties with her. Your life'll fall apart if you don't. Or just talk things through with her (if you got the guts) best case scenario she'll understand and you can both work some solution up, otherwise cut ties.
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    (Original post by shonagh17)
    If you were gonna use her for sex, maybe let her know lmao but not as bluntly, just be like, you’re really attractive, and i like talking to you im just im not looking for a serious relationship right now, i mean, it sounds a bit like a cliché, but if she just wants to hook up that bad she may still just want to, and at least then youre not lying or leading her on
    Issue is, she said she would hook up, but she is very convinced that will lead to us dating. I have been crystal clear that it won't but she's not taking that.
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    (Original post by AspiringAccount)
    dude if your that horny and you only wanna "use her for sex" then I suggest you cut all ties with her. You don't want to ruin her life. Although, if you want a relationship with her (highly doubt it cause lets be honest you don't) then just get with her if you catch my drift. Cause take it from my book I ain't gonna share personal stuff cause it just haunts me but trust me just cut all ties with her. Your life'll fall apart if you don't. Or just talk things through with her (if you got the guts) best case scenario she'll understand and you can both work some solution up, otherwise cut ties.
    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    If she says she's OK for the non-emotional sex AND you're happy to deal with the ineveitable emotional fall-out from her when you finally dump her then go ahead with a sexual fling.

    Think of it is as giving her short term joy (being with you) that will lead to medium term pain for her (getting dumped), that will improve her in the long term (make her more mature).

    If you can't handle how she'll react when you dump her, don't touch her with your barge pole.
    Ugh, its just so easy to ghost someone. I feel bad for that, but this year, I really need to do things to benefit myself, as selfish as that sounds.
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    Tell her you will just use her for sex. Which btw makes you a vile person, knowing she'll want more and you don't, then still going ahead with it. You'll be giving her more issues, and good luck dealing with the fall out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Issue is, she said she would hook up, but she is very convinced that will lead to us dating. I have been crystal clear that it won't but she's not taking that.
    In that case id cut her off, and just go on tinder instead lmao
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    Ik you’re wanting some fun but Id suggest to drop it. She clearly isn’t getting the message. Sounds like she really believes you’re going to end up in a relationship with her. It’s going to just be difficult for you and her too when you want to end the fling.
    She may say that she’s fine with just sex, but if she’s already expressed emotional interest in you, she’s probably saying that stuff to get with you. I don’t blame her, I mean if you really like someone, maybe you’ll do whatever to be attached to them and believe that it may lead to something more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ugh, its just so easy to ghost someone. I feel bad for that, but this year, I really need to do things to benefit myself, as selfish as that sounds.
    dude I understand what your tryna say. But trust me the moment you do what your thinking of doing your life will fall apart. Additionally, you'll be responsible for ruining the girls life (probably by a trauma of some kind). You never know this chick could be waiting for you to try something like that so she can get you arrested and potentially get you done under rape cause girls are sly like that. Think smart, don't make the same mistakes every other a*swipe of the male gender has made. You'll thank me later (probably not).
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    (Original post by starfab)
    Tell her you will just use her for sex. Which btw makes you a vile person, knowing she'll want more and you don't, then still going ahead with it. You'll be giving her more issues, and good luck dealing with the fall out.
    I have never been like this ever. She has just metaphorically jumped onto my back and is just pounding me for attention and affection, from day one. Not even an intro, just FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT. I saw my opportunity, but it has purely put me off considering it.
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    (Original post by shonagh17)
    In that case id cut her off, and just go on tinder instead lmao
    Man has no time for tinder. Those girls are just wanting top quality or nuffin.
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    (Original post by goincrazy10)
    Ik you’re wanting some fun but Id suggest to drop it. She clearly isn’t getting the message. Sounds like she really believes you’re going to end up in a relationship with her. It’s going to just be difficult for you and her too when you want to end the fling.
    She may say that she’s fine with just sex, but if she’s already expressed emotional interest in you, she’s probably saying that stuff to get with you. I don’t blame her, I mean if you really like someone, maybe you’ll do whatever to be attached to them and believe that it may lead to something more.
    Yeah, it could have a lot of fall out. I don't know how she is so confident though, like people just **** her off and she doesn't get affected. I know there's some issue there, but seriously, because she doesn't really learn from experience at all.
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    (Original post by AspiringAccount)
    dude I understand what your tryna say. But trust me the moment you do what your thinking of doing your life will fall apart. Additionally, you'll be responsible for ruining the girls life (probably by a trauma of some kind). You never know this chick could be waiting for you to try something like that so she can get you arrested and potentially get you done under rape cause girls are sly like that. Think smart, don't make the same mistakes every other a*swipe of the male gender has made. You'll thank me later (probably not).
    Man, I dont know if she's got some evil plan. She's very charming n dat, but I wish she wasn't so hard on, and a bit more my type tbh. She's got a lot of background that I am not attracted to, I mean herself as in personality and looks, not too bad, but she's got issues, bad history, so I simply cannot take that on my shoulders.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have never been like this ever. She has just metaphorically jumped onto my back and is just pounding me for attention and affection, from day one. Not even an intro, just FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT. I saw my opportunity, but it has purely put me off considering it.
    Then don't consider it or anything. Just drop it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's this girl that I have been talking to, who I barely know. She seems really REALLY into me, but I am constantly telling her that I don't want anything. However, she is persistent and carries on telling me that she can change my mind eventually and won't stop trying. Occasionally, as I am a guy, I get really turned on so I deeply consider using this girl for sex. I really don't know whether I should just cut my connection with her, stopping myself from using her as some sort of go to for sex, or pursue this further, using her when I really, want since she really wants to get together and would happily accept. Please help me...
    Ask her if she is ok with just sex, a friends with benefit kind of thing and then you can have sex guilt free.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ask her if she is ok with just sex, a friends with benefit kind of thing and then you can have sex guilt free.
    Have definitely tried that. I always get the answer of yes we can do that, but then she ends with, "But eventually I know you're going to fall for me, and we'll be in a relationship in the long run." Don't get me wrong, she's probably the most pleasant person ever, and she is probably what I would call a perfect girlfriend if she acted like this after maybe a year of dating, but she's just jumped onto the wagon way too quickly, and the weight she brings is too much for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ask her if she is ok with just sex, a friends with benefit kind of thing and then you can have sex guilt free.
    No it cannot possibly be guilt free because he knows deep down she wants more and he doesn't. That's plain using.
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