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    I'm 18, female, live in the South West of England, can't drive, can't afford a car even if I could drive, failed every GCSE I took with nothing at C or above and mostly Us, I only have functional skills entry level 3 English and maths which is below GCSE level, I also have entry level 3 animal care, I am however doing functional skills level 1 English, maths and employability. I have volunteered in a few different animal places and worked in a restaurant as a Christmas temp and while I'm in college now I also do a bit of dog walking.

    I would love to work with rescue animals but the animal industry is competitive, I'm worried I'll never work with animals, my area barely has any animal jobs anyway, if I never work with animals I'm a failure, like I am already but I'll be even more of a failure if I don't ever get that job. I have this feeling that I'll always be stuck in low paid crappy jobs I hate for the rest of my life while both of my siblings are doing what they want to be doing, not badly paid, 1 has a masters degree and the other has a few level 2 qualifications in different things, both have good GCSEs.

    Me? I'm nothing. I have nothing. My life isn't even worth living. They both have and had have lots of friends, a childhood free from negativity, led positive lives without any sign of a mental health disorder unlike Me, bullied, unpopular, never go out, not confident and have anxiety and depression. I also have low iron.

    I do have 1 best friend who I have been friends with for nearly 6 years, neither of my siblings see their school friends, both in their 20s and succeeding in life though. I'm always having a hard time getting jobs, but I'm likely to always have that problem, if I can't work with animals there's nothing else I can actually do, so I'll either be unemployed or low paid and struggle for the rest of my life and have no career.

    I can't believe I'm 18 and I'm already set up for a life of hell, shall I just end it before it gets any worse?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, female, live in the South West of England, can't drive, can't afford a car even if I could drive, failed every GCSE I took with nothing at C or above and mostly Us, I only have functional skills entry level 3 English and maths which is below GCSE level, I also have entry level 3 animal care, I am however doing functional skills level 1 English, maths and employability. I have volunteered in a few different animal places and worked in a restaurant as a Christmas temp and while I'm in college now I also do a bit of dog walking.

    I would love to work with rescue animals but the animal industry is competitive, I'm worried I'll never work with animals, my area barely has any animal jobs anyway, if I never work with animals I'm a failure, like I am already but I'll be even more of a failure if I don't ever get that job. I have this feeling that I'll always be stuck in low paid crappy jobs I hate for the rest of my life while both of my siblings are doing what they want to be doing, not badly paid, 1 has a masters degree and the other has a few level 2 qualifications in different things, both have good GCSEs.

    Me? I'm nothing. I have nothing. My life isn't even worth living. They both have and had have lots of friends, a childhood free from negativity, led positive lives without any sign of a mental health disorder unlike Me, bullied, unpopular, never go out, not confident and have anxiety and depression. I also have low iron.

    I do have 1 best friend who I have been friends with for nearly 6 years, neither of my siblings see their school friends, both in their 20s and succeeding in life though. I'm always having a hard time getting jobs, but I'm likely to always have that problem, if I can't work with animals there's nothing else I can actually do, so I'll either be unemployed or low paid and struggle for the rest of my life and have no career.

    I can't believe I'm 18 and I'm already set up for a life of hell, shall I just end it before it gets any worse?
    Yup end it and make it quick. It’s over.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, female, live in the South West of England, can't drive, can't afford a car even if I could drive, failed every GCSE I took with nothing at C or above and mostly Us, I only have functional skills entry level 3 English and maths which is below GCSE level, I also have entry level 3 animal care, I am however doing functional skills level 1 English, maths and employability. I have volunteered in a few different animal places and worked in a restaurant as a Christmas temp and while I'm in college now I also do a bit of dog walking.

    I would love to work with rescue animals but the animal industry is competitive, I'm worried I'll never work with animals, my area barely has any animal jobs anyway, if I never work with animals I'm a failure, like I am already but I'll be even more of a failure if I don't ever get that job. I have this feeling that I'll always be stuck in low paid crappy jobs I hate for the rest of my life while both of my siblings are doing what they want to be doing, not badly paid, 1 has a masters degree and the other has a few level 2 qualifications in different things, both have good GCSEs.

    Me? I'm nothing. I have nothing. My life isn't even worth living. They both have and had have lots of friends, a childhood free from negativity, led positive lives without any sign of a mental health disorder unlike Me, bullied, unpopular, never go out, not confident and have anxiety and depression. I also have low iron.

    I do have 1 best friend who I have been friends with for nearly 6 years, neither of my siblings see their school friends, both in their 20s and succeeding in life though. I'm always having a hard time getting jobs, but I'm likely to always have that problem, if I can't work with animals there's nothing else I can actually do, so I'll either be unemployed or low paid and struggle for the rest of my life and have no career.

    I can't believe I'm 18 and I'm already set up for a life of hell, shall I just end it before it gets any worse?
    Hi. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation right now and this is really weighing on your mind.

    What is it that makes you say you're failing at life? You mentioned that you can't drive or afford a car; is that something that you feel is important to you?

    You also mentioned your grades. I'm sensing you feel your grades won't get you where you want to go, i.e. working with animals – is that right? From what I can see, you're already working on improving your grades with your additional courses, and you're doing so while working in the meantime by dog-walking and a bit of seasonal work. What do you think that says about you?

    Finally, you mentioned your upbringing and the impact it has had on you relative to your siblings. Do you need to measure yourself against your siblings? Do you think it's fair to compare yourselves? It sounds as though you've had a challenging time and had to overcome a lot to get where you are now. How else might things have turned out? It must have been hard to open up about that, especially to complete strangers.

    At the end of your post, you mentioned ending it all. Is this how you really feel? Have you spoken to anyone about these feelings (such as your best friend), or more generally about your life or career goals? I can see that you care a lot about animals. Is there anything else that interests you and that you get passionate about or enjoy doing?

    I'm here to listen if you want to talk.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yup end it and make it quick. It’s over.
    You clearly should, you feel nothing.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yup end it and make it quick. It’s over.
    You should kill yourself instead.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Greatleysteg)
    Hi. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation right now and this is really weighing on your mind.

    What is it that makes you say you're failing at life? You mentioned that you can't drive or afford a car; is that something that you feel is important to you?

    You also mentioned your grades. I'm sensing you feel your grades won't get you where you want to go, i.e. working with animals – is that right? From what I can see, you're already working on improving your grades with your additional courses, and you're doing so while working in the meantime by dog-walking and a bit of seasonal work. What do you think that says about you?

    Finally, you mentioned your upbringing and the impact it has had on you relative to your siblings. Do you need to measure yourself against your siblings? Do you think it's fair to compare yourselves? It sounds as though you've had a challenging time and had to overcome a lot to get where you are now. How else might things have turned out? It must have been hard to open up about that, especially to complete strangers.

    At the end of your post, you mentioned ending it all. Is this how you really feel? Have you spoken to anyone about these feelings (such as your best friend), or more generally about your life or career goals? I can see that you care a lot about animals. Is there anything else that interests you and that you get passionate about or enjoy doing?

    I'm here to listen if you want to talk.
    Well without a car there isn't anything you can do, public transport is expensive and unreliable so yeah driving is important to me.

    The working and college doesn't really say anything about me.

    Things could've turned out a lot better, I've been through a lot to get where I am now, but yet I'm still in the same sh**ty situation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yup end it and make it quick. It’s over.
    Why should They?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well without a car there isn't anything you can do, public transport is expensive and unreliable so yeah driving is important to me.

    The working and college doesn't really say anything about me.

    Things could've turned out a lot better, I've been through a lot to get where I am now, but yet I'm still in the same sh**ty situation.
    A lot of people aren't able to drive, and it's increasingly the case. Fewer people are learning, or can afford, to drive. It's true that not being able to travel far limits what you can do to some extent, and that can be frustrating but not insurmountable. Do you have a bike, or have you looked into passes and advanced fares or carpooling with friends/family?

    The fact that you are working hard in school and also in employment at your age, especially given the difficulties you have faced growing up, speak volumes about your strength of character. You could easily have been in a much worse situation but you have managed to avoid that. It's important that you sometimes look at what you have achieved and take credit for it. You might not think it's important, but believe me, your achievements so far definitely put you in a minority already.

    TSR and online forums are not representative of the real world, and if you spend a long time on them, there is a real danger that you end up with a warped perception of reality and develop feelings of inadequacy. Most people don't have A grades coming out of their ears, offers from every Russell Group university, speak multiple languages, play every sport and instrument and go skiing/hunting/to the South of France every other weekend. In fact, half the people who say they do these things are telling massive porkies anyway, and what they won't tell you is how insecure they feel.

    You are still so, so young. Honestly. You have your whole life ahead of you, and while it's fine to be concerned about getting a career and developing your skills, it's unhealthy to obsess over it and label yourself a failure at something you've barely begun. There is lots of time to find your feet – hell, that's what your twenties are for, and you're not even there yet.

    Keep plugging away at the jobs you have, and stick with the courses you have. Keep an eye out for new opportunities to gain experience in the areas you're interested in, and look for grants and apprenticeships. Maybe try volunteering with an animal shelter or animal-related charitable organisation. Lots of places, while they won't pay you, will reimburse travel costs and sometimes lunch etc.

    As for your grades: they aren't the full picture of you. In twenty years' time, no one will really care what you got in what subject. You probably won't even remember. In the meantime, just work on doing the best that you can and that's all anyone can ask. For what it's worth, you seem like an articulate young lady from your posts and you clearly care deeply about things close to your heart.

    You might consider looking into the free mental health support that can be provided by the NHS and charitable organisations in terms of individual and group counselling. It can help boost your confidence and manage your anxiety. Whatever you're feeling, you shouldn't and don't have to go through it alone. If you don't feel like, or can't face, talking face-to-face, then there are online instant-messaging services you can use and numbers that you can call.

    If you're studying your courses at a college, I'd approach whoever is responsible for careers guidance, too, and look at how you might develop a long-term proactive strategy for working out what you want to do and how to get there.
 
 
 
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