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Can’t put in ruby cup or insert more than two fingers watch

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    I recently got a ruby cup because I’m desperate to cut back on the amount of plastic I use (pads/tampons). I got the smaller size but I still can’t fit it in, it’s not just that it’s incredibly painful (and it is incredibly painful) but it also physically won’t fit. I’m a virgin but not because I’m waiting until marriage or anything, just haven’t met the right guy yet but I’m worried that when I do I’m not going to be able to have sex. I can comfortably get tampons in (I get headaches quickly with them and they make me feel sick, though that’s unrelated I think) but I can’t get more than two fingers up there, and even with two it’s painful/uncomfortable. I went o the doctor but she didn’t really say anything about it (we were talking about other problems I have with irregular/ long/ painful periods so she might have just got distracted I can’t really remember) but I don’t want to have to go back again. One of my friends can’t have sex for a similar reason and I’m really worried. I know it’s not just because I’m tense or nervous because I’ve tried it several times and in several situations to make sure I’m relaxed. I want to use my menstrual cup and I’m hoping to loose my virginity pretty soon. Has anyone else experienced this problem and if so, how did you fix it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently got a ruby cup because I’m desperate to cut back on the amount of plastic I use (pads/tampons). I got the smaller size but I still can’t fit it in, it’s not just that it’s incredibly painful (and it is incredibly painful) but it also physically won’t fit. I’m a virgin but not because I’m waiting until marriage or anything, just haven’t met the right guy yet but I’m worried that when I do I’m not going to be able to have sex. I can comfortably get tampons in (I get headaches quickly with them and they make me feel sick, though that’s unrelated I think) but I can’t get more than two fingers up there, and even with two it’s painful/uncomfortable. I went o the doctor but she didn’t really say anything about it (we were talking about other problems I have with irregular/ long/ painful periods so she might have just got distracted I can’t really remember) but I don’t want to have to go back again. One of my friends can’t have sex for a similar reason and I’m really worried. I know it’s not just because I’m tense or nervous because I’ve tried it several times and in several situations to make sure I’m relaxed. I want to use my menstrual cup and I’m hoping to loose my virginity pretty soon. Has anyone else experienced this problem and if so, how did you fix it?
    Sex and inserting menstrual products is really different. When it comes to having sex with someone you like, you'll be aroused and you will naturally lubricate, and your muscles should relax enough to allow you to have sex.

    As for the cup, it's a bit difficult to explain but try aiming it at slightly different angles when you go to insert it, and put yourself in different positions. Some find sitting on the toilet the easiest way, whereas others prefer to stand with a leg up on the lid of the toilet, things like that. Some women, at least for their first few tries, even lie on their back in more of a birthing position and do it that way. You might find that a different position helps you out, and you might just be trying to use it at a slightly off angle which will make it really difficult to use. Try angling it backwards, towards your spine, as your insert it. It may also help if you bear down slightly, which may relax and open up the muscles to allow you to insert it. Have you tried lubricant as well? You may find that a little bit of water-based lubricant helps you out a lot.

    If at first you don't succeed, try again. Just not immediately. It's easy to give it a couple of tries and get frustrated with it, which will only make it harder and more uncomfortable and you'll feel more hesistant next time you go to do it. Just as using tampons can take a little practice, this can too. Good luck!
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    Sex and inserting menstrual products is really different. When it comes to having sex with someone you like, you'll be aroused and you will naturally lubricate, and your muscles should relax enough to allow you to have sex.

    As for the cup, it's a bit difficult to explain but try aiming it at slightly different angles when you go to insert it, and put yourself in different positions. Some find sitting on the toilet the easiest way, whereas others prefer to stand with a leg up on the lid of the toilet, things like that. Some women, at least for their first few tries, even lie on their back in more of a birthing position and do it that way. You might find that a different position helps you out, and you might just be trying to use it at a slightly off angle which will make it really difficult to use. Try angling it backwards, towards your spine, as your insert it. It may also help if you bear down slightly, which may relax and open up the muscles to allow you to insert it. Have you tried lubricant as well? You may find that a little bit of water-based lubricant helps you out a lot.

    If at first you don't succeed, try again. Just not immediately. It's easy to give it a couple of tries and get frustrated with it, which will only make it harder and more uncomfortable and you'll feel more hesistant next time you go to do it. Just as using tampons can take a little practice, this can too. Good luck!
    Thank you so much, I’ll definitely try this!
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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    Sex and inserting menstrual products is really different. When it comes to having sex with someone you like, you'll be aroused and you will naturally lubricate, and your muscles should relax enough to allow you to have sex.

    As for the cup, it's a bit difficult to explain but try aiming it at slightly different angles when you go to insert it, and put yourself in different positions. Some find sitting on the toilet the easiest way, whereas others prefer to stand with a leg up on the lid of the toilet, things like that. Some women, at least for their first few tries, even lie on their back in more of a birthing position and do it that way. You might find that a different position helps you out, and you might just be trying to use it at a slightly off angle which will make it really difficult to use. Try angling it backwards, towards your spine, as your insert it. It may also help if you bear down slightly, which may relax and open up the muscles to allow you to insert it. Have you tried lubricant as well? You may find that a little bit of water-based lubricant helps you out a lot.

    If at first you don't succeed, try again. Just not immediately. It's easy to give it a couple of tries and get frustrated with it, which will only make it harder and more uncomfortable and you'll feel more hesistant next time you go to do it. Just as using tampons can take a little practice, this can too. Good luck!
    Thank you so much, I’ll definitely try this!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently got a ruby cup because I’m desperate to cut back on the amount of plastic I use (pads/tampons). I got the smaller size but I still can’t fit it in, it’s not just that it’s incredibly painful (and it is incredibly painful) but it also physically won’t fit. I’m a virgin but not because I’m waiting until marriage or anything, just haven’t met the right guy yet but I’m worried that when I do I’m not going to be able to have sex. I can comfortably get tampons in (I get headaches quickly with them and they make me feel sick, though that’s unrelated I think) but I can’t get more than two fingers up there, and even with two it’s painful/uncomfortable. I went o the doctor but she didn’t really say anything about it (we were talking about other problems I have with irregular/ long/ painful periods so she might have just got distracted I can’t really remember) but I don’t want to have to go back again. One of my friends can’t have sex for a similar reason and I’m really worried. I know it’s not just because I’m tense or nervous because I’ve tried it several times and in several situations to make sure I’m relaxed. I want to use my menstrual cup and I’m hoping to loose my virginity pretty soon. Has anyone else experienced this problem and if so, how did you fix it?
    It is possible that if you still have your hymen, it is getting in the way and making it hurt. If you do have it, it depends what kind of hymen you have. But it is possible that a tampon is small enough to go through the gap but the cup and your fingers are too big making the hymen get close to tearing. Maybe for now try reusable cloth pads.

    There is also a condition called vaginismus although I wouldn't worry about it until you've had, or tried to, have sex.

    Personally I tried the cup way after I had lost my virginity but it was quite painful trying to take it out. Only when I started being sexually active again did it become really simple to use. So it may just be a case of needing to have your body adjust to having bigger things in there.
 
 
 
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