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What do you see my dream as meaning? watch

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    To include details as to my dream, and the context before this. I am a 17 year old male with slightly sociopathic tendencies, whom finds it very hard to trust in another person and their loyalties. When I do trust someone, I commit fully to that trust, and care for them (the level of care varying depending on their meaning to me).

    A few weeks ago, I ‘broke off’ a friendship with a supposed close friend (this isn’t the first time I have done this). I intermittently questioned her loyalty and my true meaning to her throughout the years we had known one another. We had first met at the age of 14, when she was a bit of a loner and took anti-depressants to cope with the emotional turmoil she was going through. I helped her, talked to her - making her recognise to enjoy life and to take everything out of it possible and savour it. It inevitably made us close friends. However I was in a toxic relationship at the time, and my ex’s jealousy soon made us lose contact until a year later (where she was now a popular person, confident and helping others as I and others had helped her).

    Since our reunion, I have intermittently questioned not only her loyalty to me, but the depth of how much I actually meant to her. She frequently showed signs of affection - we would hug if we saw one another (mostly), in shared classes especially and sometimes she would stand behind my chair for a few minutes whilst talking to me and others, and wrap her arms around me or hold both our hands and lean against me almost. However we rarely talked, with only brief greetings and such (sometimes) if we saw one another, but also sometimes ignoring one another. As well as this, she always ignored any requests to spend time together and seemed to disregard me as being close when with others she was good friends with , making me feel devalued. Yet regardless, I trusted her more than I trusted most, and due to a lack of contact I treasured the moments of intimacy we had and the times she would say I was the person she could always trust and rely on when she was feeling down. Our relationship was such others knew not to talk **** in front of me about her (I did have a crush on her only a few weeks ago that I quashed feelings of), and I was blind to the opinion contrary to mine and others of her being a compassionate angel, which was that she was a two-faced, gossiping and fake person. (It is not common knowledge that we’re only now acquaintances however).

    Back to the start, I broke off the friendship after personal reflection, realising that she was more of a fake friend, and that we both were keeping this illusion of us being close like we were when we first met and there was no sincerity to it. Since then, I have seen her often around school (ironically more than I did before when we were friends) which can lead to a few personally awkward moments - her quickly walking around and ahead of me and a few friends and glancing back briefly etc. However I have also seen her sometimes glancing at me and looking (I have a tendency to occasionally just survey a room I’m in and see what others are up to) ; sometimes with us meeting eye contact for a couple of seconds and sometimes her or I averting gaze, but there always seems to be some sort of air around us when we’re either close or I see her looking at me.

    Last night I had a dream about her, where it was us two talking again and becoming close again - doing the strange intimate acts I talked of earlier except it just being us two, with a line I clearly remember being “I’m glad we’re friends again, maybe more”. In the dream there was no discernible landscape or setting, it just seemed to be the two of us in mist except she was clear and easy to see despite this. When I woke up it stayed on my mind for a while (long enough for me to be asking about it now) and has left a heavy feeling in the heart, with my enjoyment of the dream being so I went back to sleep to try to immerse myself in it again - to no avail. ————————I feel it is important to point out that I don’t often dream, and that even when I do due to prior practice of lucid dreaming, recognise the dream and effectively stop whatever the dream was and have fun with it - in this I was powerless. I have my own thoughts on what the dream represents, but I am interested to hear the learned views of others.

    Thanks for reading this (amazingly near tiringly) detailed question xD Also what're your thoughts on what our relationship was like?
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    I know how you feel, I had my trust broken by someone who I thought was a friend and it really damaged me. Dreams are interesting things, it' usually just your mind sorting itself out and I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your relationship seemed like a good one to begin with but some people who are considered fake friends really aren't worth your time and you shouldn't be made to feel devalued. You're doing the right thing building up the courage to talk about it and I really hope things get better for you. Did I answer your question?
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    (Original post by karen193)
    I know how you feel, I had my trust broken by someone who I thought was a friend and it really damaged me. Dreams are interesting things, it' usually just your mind sorting itself out and I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your relationship seemed like a good one to begin with but some people who are considered fake friends really aren't worth your time and you shouldn't be made to feel devalued. You're doing the right thing building up the courage to talk about it and I really hope things get better for you. Did I answer your question?
    It's not so much worry I have over it, more curiosity about the feelings I had after the dream during the day and really whether anyone experienced the same. (by the way bloody good job if you actually read that all, was thinking of re-posting with a shorter version ) Thank you too for your contribution, I hope it wasn't too impactful - my trust wasn't broken so much as just the strange disconnected feeling I feel, I treasured our friendship despite my growing bad thoughts and suddenly (albeit easily) cutting off from it is just strange
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    Stop taking yourself and your life so seriously.

    You're a 17 year old schoolboy. Not a character from a Dostoyevsky novel!
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    Basically this whole time you've secretly fancied her but you've been pushing her away because you know she's not good for you. That's probably why you've been so hurt by her because she means more to you than just a friend. She probably liked you as well and the reason it's so complex is because you two were never just platonic friends. A whole lot of sexual tension.
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    What I've learned is if your dream has a theme that doesn't reoccur in other dreams then it may as well be a load of ****ing nonsense. I had a dream once where it started with some very attractive girl I know grinding on me, followed by a quite jarring scene change where I alleged to a bunch of lads around a campfire that I had once inserted an entire cabbage into my rectum. As a total one off occurrence I struggle to find what it could possibly have meant.
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    It sounds like you might want want to talk to her again, does that sound right? What are those insights you say you have?

    Have you tried talking to her?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I had a dream about her, where it was us two talking again and becoming close again - doing the strange intimate acts I talked of earlier except it just being us two, with a line I clearly remember being “I’m glad we’re friends again, maybe more”. In the dream there was no discernible landscape or setting, it just seemed to be the two of us in mist except she was clear and easy to see despite this. When I woke up it stayed on my mind for a while (long enough for me to be asking about it now) and has left a heavy feeling in the heart, with my enjoyment of the dream being so I went back to sleep to try to immerse myself in it again - to no avail. ————————I feel it is important to point out that I don’t often dream, and that even when I do due to prior practice of lucid dreaming, recognise the dream and effectively stop whatever the dream was and have fun with it - in this I was powerless. I have my own thoughts on what the dream represents, but I am interested to hear the learned views of others.
    It's a "get over with" dream, I've had these a lot starting from teens and up to very recently. Like the night before my aunt and cousins left after an extremely fun one-week visit they had paid us. Before the last day of a course on whose instructor I had a crush. The night after unfriending another crush of mine on Facebook. In these dreams, your object of interest is very realistic and often it does not feel like you have slept well because the dream was so loyal to your awake self. It's just your subconscious kindly providing you with a comforting close up. The best you can do is just savouring your memories of this dream, until you are naturally able to go on.
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    (Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
    Stop taking yourself and your life so seriously.

    You're a 17 year old schoolboy. Not a character from a Dostoyevsky novel!
    This x a million.
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    probably Nothin if you ask me unless it's a recurring one.
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