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    I'm travelling with a friend right now and we've had a fight and I don't know who's in the wrong.She went to back to the room about midnight and I stayed in the common area of the hostel chatting to people and told her to send me a message when she wanted me back so she could sleep. I was longer than expected but sent her another message saying sorry it's late and asking her if she wanted me to come back which she replied no. When I got back to the room later she got really angry at me saying I was so late and taking advantage. I tried to tell her that I would have come back if she has messaged me but she told me I was stupid and should have used common sense.I apologised for being late but she is still angry at me. Am I the wrong here?
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    She needs to liven up. Hostel travelling isn't about early bedtimes. I also don't see why you need to do as she's told, surely she could have just gone to sleep and then you come to bed whenever you're ready. I'm on your side for this one as she should have messaged but I don't think you should make it an issue. Just move past it because you don't want an even bigger fight and awkwardness ruining your travels. You're both seeing it in different ways but I think you should take the blame and be the bigger person. I'm sure she'll forget about it in the morning anyway.
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    Why should your friend decide when you come back to the room and when you can sleep?
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    >I asked her if I should return and she said "no"
    >When I returned she got angry and said I should have used common sense
    >Am I in the wrong?

    You are absolutely in the wrong. You seriously need to work on your telepathic mind-reading skills if you want to communicate with girls like her.
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    Why would you have to go back anyway? Surely she can just go to sleep and you can come in quietly and get undressed when you're ready...
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    (Original post by AngeryPenguin)
    >I asked her if I should return and she said "no"
    >When I returned she got angry and said I should have used common sense
    >Am I in the wrong?

    You are absolutely in the wrong. You seriously need to work on your telepathic mind-reading skills if you want to communicate with girls like her.
    Yeah but he first told her to message him when she's ready for bed and wants him to come back. Instead she just lay in bed hoping he'd read her mind. She didn't stick to the arrangement, plus she should have just fallen asleep. She was clearly able to use her phone if she could reply 'no'. There's no reason for her to get so worked up, she's not his mum and he shouldn't have a curfew.
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    She sounds terrible to travel with.
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    huh
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    Lol you're not 5 and she's not your mother...
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    You don't get the opportunity to travel every day and usually you can be yourself and find yourself. You should have taken your mother travelling with you if you wanted to be told what to do and when. Independence should never be taken from you like this. As a friend just tell her politely that she cannot tell you what to do and if you are not causing her any physical harm I wouldn’t worry about it. This is clearly some kind of emotional issue she needs to sort out with herself. It sounds like she is jealous but this is her problem, not yours. Enjoy yourself.
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    Your friend sounds as if she likes to be bossy in unpredictable ways! :teehee:

    I would suggest a dose of reality. Tell her straight that if she says something is OK, she can't change her mind half an hour later.

    She may also just have been confused about what was offered and the time. Sleepy people don't; always think straight. Some people are not very experienced socially, especially if they were brought up as only children or didn't have sleepovers, etc. When they get to college, social situations are new to them and they make a lot of mistakes.
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    she sounds like a right arsey piece of work...
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    (Original post by Waeyo)
    I'm travelling with a friend right now and we've had a fight and I don't know who's in the wrong.She went to back to the room about midnight and I stayed in the common area of the hostel chatting to people and told her to send me a message when she wanted me back so she could sleep. I was longer than expected but sent her another message saying sorry it's late and asking her if she wanted me to come back which she replied no. When I got back to the room later she got really angry at me saying I was so late and taking advantage. I tried to tell her that I would have come back if she has messaged me but she told me I was stupid and should have used common sense.I apologised for being late but she is still angry at me. Am I the wrong here?
    No, you are not in the wrong. She shouldn't be so controlling and tell you when you need to come back. If she wants to sleep, so be it. When you guys decided on choosing a hostel to stay, it's presumed that it will be a noisy environment and that you would be meeting people from other parts of the world. As long as you didn't disturb her while you come back, she has no right to boss you around. If it was an airbnb with hosts, then it's understandable, but this is no airbnb.
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    Next time tell her to go to sleep whenever she wants. You'll go to bed when you want and you'll try your best not to wake her up as you come in - no banging of doors or toilet flushing.
 
 
 
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