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Feeling pressured to lose my virginity. Help me!!! watch

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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    Don't do anything you don't want to do. By the time people are 17/18 they'll have found other things to think about than whether or not N has had sex yet.
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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    I find it funny and disturbing that it's now considered cool amongst girls to lose their virginity as soon as possible. It's just like the girls who used to think it was cool to get pregnant as soon as possible as well. I'm going to be perfectly blunt here: sleeping around at an early age may earn you streetcred amongst your tryhard friends but in the future, it will come back and bite you. Think of your reputation, your future spouse, your mental and physical health, your self esteem etc and how these could all take a hit if you start sleeping around just because. I'm afraid there is a double standard when it comes to teenage sex. Boys are universally considered to be cool while girls will always be criticised. I admit my interest in a girl dips if I found out she was a tart at 14. Then there is the simple fact that girls are more emotionally vulnerable when it comes to sex whereas for boys, it's no worse than having a ****. Unless you're literally dripping between the thighs, I'd wait a couple of years or untill you are in a relationship with someone worthwhile. Then again, 16 isn't that young. Just do what you want
    Tl;dr have sex because you want to, not because you want to fit in
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    I'm 18 and a virgin because I'm not an animal who ***** any girl. It's the problem with society, a lot of humans turning into animals
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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    Sex is overrated, a bit of groping, a quick squirt, and it's all done. Wait until your married, and even then you may find you don't like it much.
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    Tell them to chuff off - it’s none of their business!!! If you’re not ready that’s fine, if it’s because you haven’t had an ‘opportunity’ that’s also fine, and if it’s because you don’t want to that’s also fine! Sex is not something you should rush into anyway, so please do not let hem get into your head about this
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    hmu
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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    don't be slutty just because they want you to be. I almost lost my virginity when I was 15 and I did things that i regret a lot now.. atleast i didnt actually have sex. but honeslty I look back and think im too young. Don't let them pressure because you'll end up sleeping with some guy you don't know or like and then regret it loads after. It's better to wait for someone who you think is worth it and with whom you have a good relationship with.
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    Tbh what are you gonna gain from losing it? Ppl will start looking at you in a different way and guys will start taking advantage
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    (Original post by monkeyman0121)
    Can I ask how they are breaking the law? I am curious? Is it something to do with them being under 16 so not being able to consent to sex?
    they give out condoms to people age 12 + so ye
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    Most of them are lying or exaggerating anyway to fit in with the ones that are actually being genuine...
    • #3
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    I lost mine a few months ago when I went to London and visited a few bars in Soho (iykwim). The guy I met is someone I don't even talk to anymore (and haven't ever since that one night). Wait for the right person.
    • #4
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    I'm 18 & my gf is almost 20. We've been together 8 months but haven't had sex with each other or anyone else. There's no pressure at all to be in a relationship, be it romantic or sexual; your mates may be exaggerating their own experiences, or they may be teasing you and not realising it's upsetting or pressuring you. It'll happen when it happens and it's much much better for you to wait until you feel ready - everyone is different!!
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    You kinda need to just learn to ignore that sort of pressure and become comfortable with your own decision about when’s right for you. The problem with other people is that you can’t exactly get it right in everyone’s eyes. Some will say you’re too young and it’s wrong to have lost it now, others will say you haven’t lost it yet like there’s something wrong with you, but just remember it’s about how you feel and what’s right for you personally
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    I lost my virginity and don't regret it in the slightest but I also didn't rush it. I waited till I felt really happy with my boyfriend and felt like it was safe because i didn't want to look back on the moment and hate it! And I really don't and I know that even if we broke up now I can look back on it being something nice and special and not something I did because I felt pressured. If you're ready now then go for it but if you're not then don't. Don't feel bad because you don't want to have sex- seriously!
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    Don't be put down or allow someone to put you on the spot on this matter. You need to stand your ground about who you really are.

    [QUqqOTE=Emily&;76315520]I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?[/QUOTE]
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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    No. You should not feel down at all, you've got your whole life ahead of you for this. Most people I know who lost their virginity at that age regret it and wish they'd waited for the right person. The only ones who don't regret it are the ones that are still with the same partner now 10 years on.. Which is not many at all!

    Focus on being young, don't worry at all about this it's not something that should be worried about, particularly at your age.

    Hope that helps
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    (Original post by Emily&)
    I’m 16 in mid September and most of my mates have lost their virginity at 14/15ish and some of them put me on the spot about what age I will adventually lose my virginity. Should I feel down about them putting me on the spot about losing it ?
    Don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. Most people your age are lying about it anyway btw. Only lose it when you're ready as there is no right or wrong age. I'm 24 and still haven't lost mine yet. Everyone is different
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    Sex feels great and is a fun and enjoyable thing to do; but, and a big but, if you force yourself to sleep with someone you don't like or aren't attracted to it will most likely make you regret or even dislike sex.

    It's better to wait for someone you really like, have the extreme hots for that you are basically holding yourself back from jumping on (which also means you'll be turned on and will like it a heck of a lot more) and who doesn't pressure you, make you feel pressured or you're pressuring yourself to do it.

    I have a rule for myself: if I don't have a tingly feeling down below just from speaking to them then I'm not sexually attracted to them and will not even contemplate sleeping with them or even pursuing them.

    Sex is too good to ruin with bad experiences and insecurity or peer pressure shouldn't be the basis of doing something. Work on your self confidence more.
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    I'm 68 and still virgin. I think you should wait another 25 years at the very least
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    Don’t worry about it, it’s not a competition!
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