Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I'm 17, 18 in a month. I live with a Narc mother and i can't stand her at all. My dad is pretty much her dog on a leash.

    Ever since I turned 16 my mum pressured me to get a job (shes starting to do the same with my brother whos turning 16 soon) and that i dont mind. Its hard getting employment where i live and i actually got employed at a call centre recently but got sacked..im still looking atm..

    She'd make me feel guilty about money constantly, i have to ASK for a shower and i cant shower everyday, maybe once every 2/3 days and sometimes if i took longer than 10 mins in the shower she'd tell dad to tell me (through the door while im showering) to 'hurry up and get out of there' or she'd pull back and forth on the door screaming 'HURRY YOUR NOT PAYING FOR THE WATER ARE YOU? TURN OFF THE WATER!'

    I feel like im in a minefield or something. I'm two weeks out of a job and i got something out of the kitchen, i walked through the living room and my dad stopped and asked me; "whats an apprenticeship" i explained to him what it was (he knows exactly what it is bc i told him thats what im gonna be doing next year at college, purposely acting stupid as usual) then he goes "so when do they start" i said September, obviously. Then my mum barges in a goes, "SO YOUR GONNA BE SITTING ON THE DOLE UNTIL SEPTEMBER, WE GET NO MONEY FROM YOU, earlier that day i bought my brother a birthday present,it was a half price smartwatch that he was really looking so i bought him it) and she says WHY DID U BUY HIM THAT WATCH? YOU COULD'VE GAVE ME THAT £90!!' and at that point i just walked away.

    Then my dad literally agrees with everything she says, going on as if they're poor (when we're not, i literally have access to their online bank accounts.)

    P.S they both live off benefits and dont do anything, which angers me even more.

    I have a heart condition and i had heart surgery two, nearly three years ago. Also suffer from depression and anxiety and i cannot stand this at all.

    My brother has a girlfriend and she legit told him "you dont need a girlfriend, you need a job" and she started to call his girlfriend a skank and everything behind his back..

    They both (esp my mum) have fell out with our whole family. They don't talk to anyone outside this house. I actually went to my sisters house in December and broke down and she herself even told me she was a Narc and she understood everything i was talking about.

    Im thinking of moving in with my sister but i dont want to leave my brother..can anyone help? I've tried my best to get on with them but i just cant..

    Can your brother move in at your sisters too? Sounds like the best solution unfortunately

    Focusing on yourself is your future, love. You can supply as much love and support to your brother as possible, but you shouldn't make another choose against their will. Some people make the "right" choice, but other understand this is not rational and, in fact, is their rational choice based on personal concerns/priorities.

    Always: Do what is best for you within reason. Confidence does not equal selfishness.

    Never: Succumb to destructive lifestyle when you have the ability to move forward.

    Always: Love those important to you. The only person who will always look out for you is yourself.

    Never: Allow others' misery to neglect you from helping others, especially when that misery means your own. Do what is within your power, and recognise you cannot accomplish all.

    The state may be able to help you out if you move out with your brother I'm sure.

    I'm so sorry you have to live with a mother like that. Parents who make their children feel guilty for not working or not contributing financially when they're only 16 are appalling and seriously need to reconsider that you're supposed to love and support your kids, not use them as your own personal bank account.
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 28, 2018
The home of Results and Clearing


people online now


students helped last year
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.