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Is anyone else obsessed with how they are perceived by others? watch

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    I thought I was really sensible because I don't post selfies and I don't post instagrams, fb pictures or snapchat stories. I don't use twitter either. I thought everyone else is just narcissistic and attention seeking.

    Yet I'm still obsessed with how my facebook profile looks and the pictures I'm tagged in. I stalk my own facebook pictures several times a month to check that I'm still happy with all of the pics that are up. And that they portray the best image of myself.
    I only click 'going' or 'interested' on events that look cool. If someone invites me to a cheesy pop night on fb, there's no chance I'm clicking 'attending'.
    If a friend tags me in a meme I have to think long and hard about the wittiest reply I can come up with.

    On instagram I don't post pictures but I follow people. Again I'm careful with the people I follow and the pictures I like. There are youtubers I love to watch like Zoella but I'm too ashamed to follow them on instagram because I don't wan to be judged.

    On spotify I make sure the last song I listen to is a good song so that when people look at their feed and see it they're impressed. If I want to listen to mcfly you best believe I'm going to go on 'private'. I make sure all my public spotfiy playlists are perfect and portray me in a "cool" way.

    I also google myself reasonably regularly to check I like what comes up.

    I realise this is all incredibly unhealthy and for years I was kidding myself that I wasn't like everyone else and I didn't care about social media. But my behaviour is just as bad.

    Some of my friends constantly rewatch their snapchat stories and only post stories of cool things and we openly talk about that. I also know how much time and effort they go into taking the perfect selfie and how they post at certain times to get the most likes. Some friends will message me asking for help on coming up with a witty comment reply. So I think unfortunately a lot of us have these tendencies.

    However I've never discussed the spotify and stalking my own profile etc. with anyone.

    So can anyone else relate? I guess the fix would be to delete these social media pages.

    I even care how my account comes across on TSR hence why I'm on anon.
    • #2
    #2

    I can definitely relate to most of what youve said, i think social media is so harmful when it comes to things like this but it’s kind of like a drug that you can’t get off 😅 we’re so worried about how other people perceive us and i personally try tell myself literally no one else gives a **** a part from me but it doesnt work lol. the brain works in strange ways
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I thought I was really sensible because I don't post selfies and I don't post instagrams, fb pictures or snapchat stories. I don't use twitter either. I thought everyone else is just narcissistic and attention seeking.

    Yet I'm still obsessed with how my facebook profile looks and the pictures I'm tagged in. I stalk my own facebook pictures several times a month to check that I'm still happy with all of the pics that are up. And that they portray the best image of myself.
    I only click 'going' or 'interested' on events that look cool. If someone invites me to a cheesy pop night on fb, there's no chance I'm clicking 'attending'.
    If a friend tags me in a meme I have to think long and hard about the wittiest reply I can come up with.

    On instagram I don't post pictures but I follow people. Again I'm careful with the people I follow and the pictures I like. There are youtubers I love to watch like Zoella but I'm too ashamed to follow them on instagram because I don't wan to be judged.

    On spotify I make sure the last song I listen to is a good song so that when people look at their feed and see it they're impressed. If I want to listen to mcfly you best believe I'm going to go on 'private'. I make sure all my public spotfiy playlists are perfect and portray me in a "cool" way.

    I also google myself reasonably regularly to check I like what comes up.

    I realise this is all incredibly unhealthy and for years I was kidding myself that I wasn't like everyone else and I didn't care about social media. But my behaviour is just as bad.

    Some of my friends constantly rewatch their snapchat stories and only post stories of cool things and we openly talk about that. I also know how much time and effort they go into taking the perfect selfie and how they post at certain times to get the most likes. Some friends will message me asking for help on coming up with a witty comment reply. So I think unfortunately a lot of us have these tendencies.

    However I've never discussed the spotify and stalking my own profile etc. with anyone.

    So can anyone else relate? I guess the fix would be to delete these social media pages.

    I even care how my account comes across on TSR hence why I'm on anon.

    This is such a waste of time!! I understand caring about what people think of you totally, for example, although I'm not anon on here I still wouldn't like someone that I know knowing this was my account but I just want to say that people won't think about what you post for a second because they will be thinking about what they post. I mean, how much do you think about what people you know post. Do you ever sit in your room and think about what your friend has got their facebook profile picture as? I find it sad how fake everyone is on social media and how people may only go to a place just to take an Instagram or miss seeing something in real life because they are seeing it through their phone screen instead. I think deleting one of these apps off of your phone for a weekend will do you good. Take a step back and get some perspective. Social media can be a positive place too but not if you are trying this hard.
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    (Original post by conconnie)
    This is such a waste of time!! I understand caring about what people think of you totally, for example, although I'm not anon on here I still wouldn't like someone that I know knowing this was my account but I just want to say that people won't think about what you post for a second because they will be thinking about what they post. I mean, how much do you think about what people you know post. Do you ever sit in your room and think about what your friend has got their facebook profile picture as? I find it sad how fake everyone is on social media and how people may only go to a place just to take an Instagram or miss seeing something in real life because they are seeing it through their phone screen instead. I think deleting one of these apps off of your phone for a weekend will do you good. Take a step back and get some perspective. Social media can be a positive place too but not if you are trying this hard.
    Half the time I don't notice/care what other people do but sometimes I am judgemental as well and it helps me form ideas of what certain course mates/acquaintances are like. And I seem to especially care very much about what the cool guys I fancy may think. But I know it's silly because if someone is stalking me that much, (not that anyone would be) it's them that's being weird so it shouldn't matter what my online activity is like. I've even found myself going to certain events just because I know photos will be taken and I'm conscious that I haven't been tagged in anything for a while. That's when I know it's really bad. It mostly started at uni when I guess I felt the need to prove to everyone that I was cool and fun as well.
    I've been tempted to delete instagram or just log out so I don't go on it but again I'm worried that certain friends will think I'm being tight for not liking their pictures.
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    Once upon a time I must have cared. Surely,
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    You’re yet to become more mature OP. Your behaviour is not uncommon though, plenty of people used to do such things, myself included. It will pass.
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    No because many people don't like me at all. I might be a bit more cautious about my profiles when my crush is added but even that is quite rare so I don't care. I don't post much on social media platforms.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Half the time I don't notice/care what other people do but sometimes I am judgemental as well and it helps me form ideas of what certain course mates/acquaintances are like. And I seem to especially care very much about what the cool guys I fancy may think. But I know it's silly because if someone is stalking me that much, (not that anyone would be) it's them that's being weird so it shouldn't matter what my online activity is like. I've even found myself going to certain events just because I know photos will be taken and I'm conscious that I haven't been tagged in anything for a while. That's when I know it's really bad. It mostly started at uni when I guess I felt the need to prove to everyone that I was cool and fun as well.
    I've been tempted to delete instagram or just log out so I don't go on it but again I'm worried that certain friends will think I'm being tight for not liking their pictures.
    I took a break off of the media in general last week for the weekend (Friday evening to Sunday evening) like I deleted all of the apps off my phone as I was feeling really sad about all the bad things and suffering in the world (particularly the Florida school shooting) and I'd heard that it wasn't natural for humans to process this amount of suffering on this level and I must say it was really uplifting just to be rid of it. I still haven't even put Facebook back on my phone yet as I don't feel the need to. I would recommend just coming off it for a weekend like I did. If your friends call you out for being tight tell them you will like their photos another time (besides will they really miss one like?) Also people really will not notice if you haven't been tagged recently. Only you notice. I deleted instagram at the beggining of 2017 and I forget I ever had it. I used to be obssessed with who was following someone else and not me, how my feed looked and how jelaous I was of other people. Life is better without it for me , maybe it will be better for you too. I think it's perfectly acceptable to make a small judgement on what someone might be like in person based on what they post/what is posted of them but that's only to make a snap judgement about them and I am sure that if for example you are a friendly person and you wanted people to know that through your profile then that will naturally be present anyways. I know a girl who looks as if she is having the time of her life at university through what I can see on her snapchat but my mum is friends with her Mum and her Mum says that she was wanting to drop out after the chrsitmas break due to her course (dance) being so exhausting despite her making it look like she has found a place she never wants to leave, see? it's 90% fake online. and you know it too by knowing how much you try to put out the best image of yourself
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    It's common for young people to feel as though they're competing with peers or being judged but as you get older, you'll gradually stop caring what the large majority of people think
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    Yes, I can't help it
    • #3
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    Lol I'm exactly the same (apart from googling myself lool)
 
 
 
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