Sorry this is long but please read.
We’ve been dating for about 9 months and we’re both 20.
Him and I hadn’t been doing well for a month. We kept arguing and prior to him doing this I had broken up with him a couple times in the past two weeks but never because of cheating. He’s very controlling and doesn’t let me go out, talk to guys, or perhaps do any of the things he does. On Thursday he told me he had planned to go on an all boys trip to visit his friend at his uni that’s about 2:30 hours away. I told him i didn’t think it was a good idea since we needed to work on our relationship and it made me super upset that he wanted to go Bc he would have never let me go if I wanted to do something like that. Anyways, I broke up with him that night because I was so frustrated. But he begged for me back. Then on Saturday he left with his friends knowing damn well how I felt. I was very upset and barely gave him any attention. UsuLly when he goes to clubs, parties, or anywhere with his friends he’s very communicative. He texts me the whole time and Snapchat’s me what he’s doing. But that Saturday night when he went out to a party he was barely texting me and barely snapchatting me. I began to worry and kept texting him but would barely hear from him. Then I went to bed crying. The next morning I wake up to texts and snaps from him. He texted me that he loved me and was going to sleep. I didn’t feel right about the whole situation so I kept questioning him the next day. He kept saying there was no girls around him and the whole time he was with his guy friends. I had his Instagram password without him knowing and saw that he had looked up some girl, let’s call her Tammy. I looked at her profile and saw she went to the same university he was at this weekend. Then I start to feel worried and kept questioning him but he kept saying nothing happened and making me feel like I was crazy. Then I finally told him I had his Instagram password and saw he searched for Tammy and asked him if he had cheated on me with her. He denied it and came up with some ridiculous lie. I didn’t believe him so I messaged her asking her if anything happened between her and my boyfriend the night before. The girl told me they made out and asked if she could call me to explain everything. I told my boyfriend this and he still denied it. He kept denying it until today. He finally admitted to it and said he was very sorry and blamed our last couple weeks of arguments. He said he felt numb and careless blah blah. I was so upset he kept denying it and never planned on giving him another chance. However, the more I think about it the more I miss him and realize my love for him the less I care about the situation that occurred. I hate this..I’m so lost and sad he did this to me. After I messaged Tammy I decided to message all the other girls I had been skeptical about throughout our relationship and they all replied back to me saying they had never ever hooked up with him. Guess that made me feel a bit better about him. Anyways, he’s been apologizing non stop and telling me he loves me and he’s sorry he was so ashamed about it and that’s why he never wanted to admit to it. I hate how he lied to me. I hate how he did what he did. But I love him so much. I need an outsiders advice. Please help I’m so lost. What would u guys do?
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My boyfriend Kissed another girl while drunk watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-02-2018 04:48
- 27-02-2018 05:16
You're clearly not happy, and from the sounds of it he doesn't trust you to go out and talk with other guys because he's worried you'll go out and do the same things he does. Contrary to what many guys would like you to believe, we aren't uncontrollable around the opposite sex and being drunk is no excuse; a cheater is a cheater and it's clear that he neither respects you enough to stay faithful nor trusts you enough to do anything other than restrict you. Either of those reasons alone is enough of a reason to cut him out of your life; I'm sure you can do better and deserve better.
- 27-02-2018 06:12
Read this excellent stickied threadL https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/sho....php?t=4773096
This is by far the most inportant thing that you said "He’s very controlling and doesn’t let me go out, talk to guys, or perhaps do any of the things he does."
So what would he do if you went out and spoke to some men? Would he hit you? Would he shout at you and call you all sorts of names? Would he physically restrain you or lock you in? Would he leave you? Would he get upset and go all sulky on you for a few days?
- 27-02-2018 14:35
Break up with him.
I'll admit I skimmed through your paragraph but once I saw the bit about you saying he's very controlling, I automatically came down here to say, dump him. No one should be controlling you, it's not a healthy relationship. Also if he's this controlling now when you're young, what's he going to be like later on? He'll only become more controlling.
The cherry on the cake is that he's cheated on you, because he's allowed to go out whereas you're not? End it now, because this is the perfect example of a toxic relationship.
- 27-02-2018 14:39
Just end the relationship. Breaking up with him for a few hours several times just isn't committing to what you know you clearly want to do.