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'Prestigious' uni or being near girlfriend? Help! watch

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    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.

    EDIT: the amount of hours doesn't matter, and if I went to Durham/St. A she would be in London, so around 2/3 hours. But again... not the important part of this question.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.
    What is your mode of transport if St Andrews or Durham is 2-ish hours from Sussex?
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    Say goodbye to your girlfriend. A relationship should never hinder your goals.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.
    I would try to live with her, rather than go long distance. The prestige likely won't mean much but your next few years will be much more enjoyable.
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    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    What is your mode of transport if St Andrews or Durham is 2-ish hours from Sussex?
    If I went to St Andrews/Durham she would go to Greenwich uni - so around 2 hours.
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    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    What is your mode of transport if St Andrews or Durham is 2-ish hours from Sussex?
    Can only be plane, but even trains from airport etc would take you a bit over 3 hours. Maybe TARDIS?
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    (Original post by Bio 7)
    I would try to live with her, rather than go long distance. The prestige likely won't mean much but your next few years will be much more enjoyable.
    Thanks for your reply, and you're most probably right. I'm just very scared of regretting my decision and not enjoying Sussex/Goldsmiths and being angry at myself for making the wrong decision.
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    Out of curiosity is this Undergrad or Postgrad?

    What you're gonna hear most on this thread, in regards to the uni's, is that you should pick the course that suits you best and that you like the best over prestige. I know that doesn't really help in terms of the girlfriend part.

    In my opinion 2 hours isn't that much at all, my girlfriend lived in London while i studied in Aberdeen, we now live together and next year ill be doing my masters in London while she continues to do her PhD in London however i want to pursue a PhD after my masters and will be faced with the same dilemma as you. I honestly think i would pick somewhere not with my girlfriend if the topic interested me enough and i know she would fully support that.

    Also what are your girlfriends plans?
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    (Original post by Notoriety)
    Can only be plane, but even trains from airport etc would take you a bit over 3 hours. Maybe TARDIS?
    Already replied, and I put the '+' for a reason lol
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    I can understand the frustration on making a decision which could impact your future be it personally or career-wise. I think that there is indeed a reason why some universities are ranked higher for a given subject. What I would say: St Andrews is very far away, if your gf lives in England. Durham is more manageable in terms of distance. Also, Durham is a Russell group university, very prestigious and the town is certainly bigger (I think!) than St Andrews which means more opportunities for life outside of university (St Andrews people I know usually do everything possible to go on a year abroad and escape from the small town at least for one year). Also, the degree in St Andrews will be 4 years, Durham, I guess would be 3, so shorter time period for you to spend away from your gf if the relationship works out.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    If I went to St Andrews/Durham she would go to Greenwich uni - so around 2 hours.
    You have a private helicopter?

    (Original post by Notoriety)
    Can only be plane, but even trains from airport etc would take you a bit over 3 hours. Maybe TARDIS?
    Yeah, and not door to door.
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    (Original post by TomW624)
    Out of curiosity is this Undergrad or Postgrad?

    What you're gonna hear most on this thread, in regards to the uni's, is that you should pick the course that suits you best and that you like the best over prestige. I know that doesn't really help in terms of the girlfriend part.

    In my opinion 2 hours isn't that much at all, my girlfriend lived in London while i studied in Aberdeen, we now live together and next year ill be doing my masters in London while she continues to do her PhD in London however i want to pursue a PhD after my masters and will be faced with the same dilemma as you. I honestly think i would pick somewhere not with my girlfriend if the topic interested me enough and i know she would fully support that.

    Also what are your girlfriends plans?
    It is for undergrad, and to be honest because the course has to be accredited, the course structure tends to be almost identical in all of those unis (in my opinion), so to be honest the course isn't a deciding factor. Her plans are Sussex with me, or Greenwich while I go to Goldsmiths, as those are her top 2 but she doesn't care which.
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    (Original post by Notoriety)
    Can only be plane, but even trains from airport etc would take you a bit over 3 hours. Maybe TARDIS?
    Oh if only we had such a machine.
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    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    You have a private helicopter?



    Yeah, and not door to door.
    Agh this is really not the point of the question! For argument's sake a flight is around 1.5 hrs from London to Edinburgh then a train for around 1/2 hours I believe... stop picking at details!
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    Can't she get into some ex-poly up North? It's not like she'll have an issue with admissions or the cost of living.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    It is for undergrad, and to be honest because the course has to be accredited, the course structure tends to be almost identical in all of those unis (in my opinion), so to be honest the course isn't a deciding factor. Her plans are Sussex with me, or Greenwich while I go to Goldsmiths, as those are her top 2 but she doesn't care which.
    Which course for both of you?
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    (Original post by JohanGRK)
    Can't she get into some ex-poly up North? It's not like she'll have an issue with admissions or the cost of living.
    Her choices are Greenwich/Sussex - I'm not going to drag her to the nearest uni for my own convenience.
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    (Original post by Doonesbury)
    Which course for both of you?
    Psychology for myself and Criminology for her.
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    Durham or St Andrews. Brutal, but the source of less long-term regret. It's short-term personal pain but lifelong academic opportunity/benefit. I'm old, and have the wisdom of hindsight. The trains to/from Durham and London are completely manageable btw.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Agh this is really not the point of the question! For argument's sake a flight is around 1.5 hrs from London to Edinburgh then a train for around 1/2 hours I believe... stop picking at details!
    I used to have to fly from Aberdeen to London and my GF vice versa, luckily we both had the money to afford it, takes closer to 5 hours after you factor in getting to the airport, check in delays, getting from the airport etc.

    We were able to cope skyping most nights and monthly visits. Hopefully its a shared financial dependency you have with your girlfriend and not an emotional one. If its the later i would say live apart for a while it will actually help you in the long run and you'll learn to deal with the difficulties of a relationship better.

    Also how old are you guys? How have you been living together for two years? Both been working and now decided to go to uni?
 
 
 
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