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'Prestigious' uni or being near girlfriend? Help! watch

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    I think I've made my decision, thanks everyone who gave genuine advice, no thanks for the nitpicking and 'wait... you're a girl TOO!' ...
    I think I'm going to go to Sussex - it's a good uni, it ranks well, I love Brighton and I'll be able to live in a nice flat with my girlfriend. Prestige will mean nothing if I'm miserable alone up north somewhere without any support. If I had a good support system behind me it might be different but I don't have any family so I'm going to invest my time and my commitments in my relationship.
    Plus, as someone said - transferring is an option. A hassle, but an option, and I'm planning to do a Msc/PHD, so I'll have another choice ahead of me there.
    Thanks again for any of the genuine advice
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    you have to put yourself first for a decision this big. your prospects would be much better at St. A’s and Durham. and just because your gf isn’t close didn’t mean you have to “leave” her. she should still be your support system whether you’re half an hour away or seven hours.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    I think I've made my decision, thanks everyone who gave genuine advice, no thanks for the nitpicking and 'wait... you're a girl TOO!' ...
    I think I'm going to go to Sussex - it's a good uni, it ranks well, I love Brighton and I'll be able to live in a nice flat with my girlfriend. Prestige will mean nothing if I'm miserable alone up north somewhere without any support. If I had a good support system behind me it might be different but I don't have any family so I'm going to invest my time and my commitments in my relationship.
    Plus, as someone said - transferring is an option. A hassle, but an option, and I'm planning to do a Msc/PHD, so I'll have another choice ahead of me there.
    Thanks again for any of the genuine advice
    Some people in some threads say "rankings don't matter" and in some they say that rankings and prestige are everything. I think deep down you know what you want. There's always postgrad or you can always change your mind and transfer I guess. I think you really want to stay with your girlfriend. You should do what feels right.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    I think I've made my decision, thanks everyone who gave genuine advice, no thanks for the nitpicking and 'wait... you're a girl TOO!' ...
    I think I'm going to go to Sussex - it's a good uni, it ranks well, I love Brighton and I'll be able to live in a nice flat with my girlfriend. Prestige will mean nothing if I'm miserable alone up north somewhere without any support. If I had a good support system behind me it might be different but I don't have any family so I'm going to invest my time and my commitments in my relationship.
    Plus, as someone said - transferring is an option. A hassle, but an option, and I'm planning to do a Msc/PHD, so I'll have another choice ahead of me there.
    Thanks again for any of the genuine advice
    Hope all goes well
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.

    EDIT: the amount of hours doesn't matter, and if I went to Durham/St. A she would be in London, so around 2/3 hours. But again... not the important part of this question.
    I am in a somewhat similar situation to you, have you taken your girlfriend to any open days etc with you? I agree that it’s difficult to see past the prestige and ultimately some employers do take this into account when hiring. However as another poster has said, St. Andrews is basically a town that consists of the uni and not much else, so not only would you be missing her you would likely be missing much of a social life in general ahaha. In all honesty, I would ask for her input and I’m sure the two of you could work it out even if it meant meeting halfway if you do decide to go with Durham (being scottish i can’t really comment on the quality of uni it is). I would say just go wherever is best for your course as opposed to where is the ‘best’ uni.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    I didn't pick those unis for her - they were my choice when I applied a while ago for a different year before I even knew her, so I would never pick a uni just for someone else. Conveniently, Sussex and Goldsmiths are close to her, but that's just coincidence. The education will not vary greatly - it's still uni, Sussex ranks quite well for Psych (in my research, might be a little outdated), but I'm wondering whether the 'prestige' is all it's cracked up to be.
    Just go to Durham, trust me if you want a career in psychology a prestigious university will make life much easier for you. If you got offers from them it shows you're very academically able so don't waste your potential. I'm sure your gf will be so proud to see u graduate from a top place and you can always FaceTime and meet up on weekends. It shouldn't be a problem.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.

    EDIT: the amount of hours doesn't matter, and if I went to Durham/St. A she would be in London, so around 2/3 hours. But again... not the important part of this question.
    Prestigious university all day long

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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    I think I've made my decision, thanks everyone who gave genuine advice, no thanks for the nitpicking and 'wait... you're a girl TOO!' ...
    I think I'm going to go to Sussex - it's a good uni, it ranks well, I love Brighton and I'll be able to live in a nice flat with my girlfriend. Prestige will mean nothing if I'm miserable alone up north somewhere without any support. If I had a good support system behind me it might be different but I don't have any family so I'm going to invest my time and my commitments in my relationship.
    Plus, as someone said - transferring is an option. A hassle, but an option, and I'm planning to do a Msc/PHD, so I'll have another choice ahead of me there.
    Thanks again for any of the genuine advice
    Another way out that puts you both first is simply to both take a gap and choose unis that allow you to live together, but have the prestige you both want.

    Imo thats the most sensible way to resolve a situation that could have been avoided.

    My instincts would be for the better uni, but it is a personal decision and I am not the one in your relationship. Not all relationships last and not all students at prestigious unis succeed or are happy.
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    You should consider your current life expectancy, 3-5 years or more like 50-70 years. If you think it's longer then I recommend you plan for the long-term. As such, going to a university with more prestige could open up better opportunities for you and potentially result in a higher paid job which you and your girlfriend could both benefit from. Although the long-distance may not be easy in the short run, it will likely be worth it in the longer term, and when you're 30 you'll probably think how simple this decision was but you were over complicating it. If however life-expectancy is shorter then you should choose what will make you immediately happy, but baring in mind that circumstances and people also change - so this too carries a risk.
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    You should consider whether your current life expectancy is 3-5 years or more like 50-70 years. If you think it's longer then I recommend you plan for the long-term. As such, going to a university with more prestige could open up better opportunities for you and potentially result in a higher paid job which you and your girlfriend could both benefit from. Although the long-distance may not be easy in the short run, it will likely be worth it in the longer term, and when you're 30 you'll probably think how simple this decision was but you were over complicating it. If however life-expectancy is shorter then you should choose what will make you immediately happy, but baring in mind that circumstances and people also change - so this too carries a risk.
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    thank you for taking the time to reply, you've actually helped me out a lot

    No problem, I'm glad I could help ^_^
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    I'd say if you really want to study at a certain university go for it! It's only two hours and although that may seem like a long way away now it's not. You don't have to sacrifice having the education you want for your relationship. You can have both it may just mean not seeing each other all of the time, meeting at weekends, catching up over phone calls, Skype etc. But of course it's your decision and good luck!
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    ..yep
    Why are you being sarcastic. I acc wanted to know and now you acting like a sarcastic **** for no reason...
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    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Her choices are Greenwich/Sussex - I'm not going to drag her to the nearest uni for my own convenience.
    But you'l do it the other way?

    I would go to the better uni. You don't want to regret the worse uni or resent your gf for taking you there. And if your relationship is strong you'll survive
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    I think there are two scenarios,
    1 - she's supportive of you going to the prestigious uni --> go for it! The best of friends connect very well regardless of distance, and if she supports you that's one very big clue she's an awesome friend
    2 - she's not supportive of you going to the prestigious uni --> this gets a bit blurry, but there may be a slight chance of clinginess (or even jealousy? I'm not sure) involved....

    important thing is no matter what, don't sacrifice your happiness for her happiness, i know this sounds cruel and i'm a terrible person (who i probably am?), but i've had one friend that was great and all when we're achieving the same levels and it's as if we're brothers taking on the world, but when uni apps rolled in and it became clear he didn't achieve as he liked, he grew jealous and really clingy, and in some cases would throw buckets of cold water at the things i'm excited about. of course i'm not implying your friend is someone like this (and i don't wanna throw a bucket at you too ) but there's a very slight chance this might happen.

    hope this helps

    (Original post by louisedrake)
    Self explanatory title, subject is Psychology.

    I have visited Sussex and Goldsmiths and like them - but don't LOVE them. St A's and Durham more fit my 'goal' of a 'prestigious' uni, but...
    it would mean living 2+ hours (at least) away from my girlfriend, who I have lived with full-time for 2 years.
    Of course I care about my education, and we would stay together no matter what uni, but I know it will be horrible leaving my best friend and support system for 3/4 years.
    If I go to Sussex/Goldsmiths we would be able to live together, the same as we are now, but I can't help feeling like I'm giving up a chance of a 'better' uni and I'm drawn to their reputation etc.

    Please no hateful comments etc, I really am under so much stress from this decision and any advice would be good.

    EDIT: the amount of hours doesn't matter, and if I went to Durham/St. A she would be in London, so around 2/3 hours. But again... not the important part of this question.
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    Uni.
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    Prestigious university
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    (Original post by Taz554:-))
    Are u lesbian/bisexual? Never talked to one before!!
    She's gay...not an alien :rolleyes:

    OP - A good degree is yours forever, a relationship may not be
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    (Original post by bones-mccoy)
    She's gay...not an alien :rolleyes:

    OP - A good degree is yours forever, a relationship may not be
    Never said she was... just said never met a person who is lesbian... got a problem?
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    (Original post by Taz554:-))
    Never said she was... just said never met a person who is lesbian... got a problem?
    Yeah, you need to stop treating her like she's some kind of rare animal in a zoo. You must have lived a very sheltered life.
 
 
 
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